Chapter Twenty-one – I Won’t Last A Day Without You
Chapter Twenty-one
Fallon
I WON’T LAST A DAY WITHOUT YOU
Performed by Katie Peslis & Jay Rouse
FOUR YEARS AGO
HER: Why’d you leave so early?
HIM: Did you need an audience for the JJ and Fallon show?
HER: What’s that supposed to mean?
HIM: Nothing. I’m still wound tight from the mission. It was better that I left before I said something I’d regret.
PRESENT DAY
Parker was kissing me.
I was kissing Parker.
And holy hell, was it better than I’d remembered. Better than the brief one full of surprise and longing that I’d given him in a dive bar.
This was lightning and thunder. Stormy skies and the best of sunlit days.
Every single particle of my being was vibrating with life. Joy and pleasure swept through me.
Everything I’d ever wanted, every dream I’d had, and every favorite memory was nothing compared to these stunning seconds when our mouths were joined.
It was so beautiful it hurt and, conversely, wiped away every anguish.
I couldn’t think. All I could do was lose myself to the wild rush of yearning that whipped through me as he deepened the kiss. He took complete control of my body and soul and heart.
Every nerve screamed the truth—we were finally right where we belonged.
Parker had finally kissed me.
I hadn’t dared him, hadn’t made the first move.
He’d. Kissed. Me.
All I’d had to do was get knocked unconscious to make it happen.
That simple thought allowed embarrassment to roll back in. With it came my anger at whoever had shot at me and my guests and frustration at Parker for choosing this ugly moment to give in.
I let go of Parker and took a step back.
Our eyes locked, deep storms blending with my warm fires. Desire, so large it was almost visible, whipped through the air between us.
“Damn you,” I whispered.
He dragged a hand over his face. “Ducky, I’m sorry.”
I punched him in the chest, and knowing it wouldn’t hurt his solid wall of muscles only angered me more. I wanted to leave a mark. “Don’t you dare apologize for kissing me. That isn’t why I was cussing you out.”
He watched me, a nervousness to him I couldn’t remember having ever seen in Parker before.
“I’m just saying you could have chosen a better moment.”
For two heartbeats we stayed that way, with yearning and frustration and hope still spinning between us, and then, his lips quirked.
He rolled his face up to the sky and let out a chuckle that landed in my belly with almost the same force as the kiss.
His laugh had always done that—pummeled me with joy and affection.
A shout across the field drew our eyes to where two EMTs jogged our way. One had a backboard strapped to him, and the other carried a large medical kit.
Everything that the kiss had kept at bay came slamming back into me.
We’d been shot at. My guests had been in danger .
And even though it wasn’t still happening, in my head, I heard the sound of the rifle echoing across the land, and it woke dangerous memories.
Hearing the same sound a decade ago. The terrifying helplessness and fear that had consumed me, knowing Dad and Sadie were being shot at and running for cover.
The loud report of a pistol shot at close range with my uncle pulling the trigger.
A sickening thud as Theresa Puzo collapsed to the floor with blood pooling out of her.
My vision swam. A tremor ran up my spine, and my hands began to shake.
I tried to fight it off, not only the physical reaction but the memories and the emotions they dragged with them. I did my best to toss them behind the same door where I kept all my traumatic moments. But the door felt flimsy and fragile, as if it would burst open again at the smallest provocation.
When I glanced at Parker, he’d already shuttered away every emotion.
He was back to being the Navy SEAL—feet wide, arms crossed over his mammoth chest, jaw tight.
But I knew from experience, from watching my dad hide his emotions all my life, from doing the same myself, that just because Parker had tucked them away, it didn’t mean they weren’t beating inside him, trying to escape their cage.
But there was one emotion I wouldn’t let either of us keep locked up anymore. I silently swore we’d get back to the desire the kiss had raised.
I wouldn’t let him start this and then try to forget it happened—not when it was the single most beautiful kiss I’d ever had. The entire world had slid into perfect focus when his mouth had been on mine. We would have that again.
“I’ll make you a promise, Kermit,” I said quietly as the two men drew closer. His gaze met mine before flicking away. “I’ll go to the damn hospital, have them run their stupid tests, but when I get back, we pick up where that kiss left off.”
“You’re going to the hospital if I have to strap you to that backboard and carry you there myself.
” I started to protest, and he stepped closer, tweaking my braid.
It was the same gentle tug he’d done my whole life, but it shot pain straight to my temple, causing me to gasp.
“And that, right there, is why you’re going to the emergency room. ”
“Fine,” I snapped. “But I expect to be rewarded for it.”
His gaze fell to my mouth, and heat shot through my chest.
I dragged my eyes away before stepping toward the EMTs. The quicker we got this over with, the quicker I could get back to what Parker had started.
? ? ?
Hours later, I was still in the hospital, waiting impatiently in the emergency room for a doctor to return with some of my test results.
They’d done a full battery of tests, bloodwork, urine samples, and ordered a CT scan, which had felt like overkill.
After all, I’d been knocked in the head before.
The longer I sat there, the harder it was to keep at bay the memories of another emergency room in Tennessee, where I’d been more worried about Sadie’s injuries than mine. She’d taken the brunt of the violence in trying to defend me.
The tremors I’d forced away in the field returned, and my stomach twisted nastily again.
I hated thinking about that day. Uncle Adam had done nothing but watch as Theresa Puzo had clocked me with the grip of her pistol. Then, he’d hurt Sadie, hitting and kicking her, while I’d been stuck in a chair with Theresa’s gun aimed at me.
My chest grew tight as emotions and tears tried to escape.
The gunshot that day had been…evil. I had no other words to describe it.
It had been different than any shot I’d ever heard, even when I’d pulled the trigger many times myself.
Guns were just another tool a rancher had to be familiar with.
Uncle Spencer had shown me the mercy that came from putting a dying cow out of its misery, but that day in the bar with Sadie, everything had been different.
Today, it had sounded the same way.
Another chill ran up my spine.
The blasts echoing over the field had held that same darkness. Maybe it was because the shots had been directed at humans. Maybe it was because they were as far from mercy as possible.
All I knew was, the longer I sat in a stupid hospital room waiting, the more the memories tried to swallow me, tried to sink their greedy, ugly grasp into me .
I didn’t want ugly.
I wanted the heaven I’d found in Parker’s embrace.
When Parker poked his head in to check on me, the worry in his eyes meant the ugliness hung around us like a heavy cloak.
I loathed it. I wanted the heat back. The desire.
The lust. Instead, Parker had returned to his SEAL persona.
He was cold and factual as he dealt with Sheriff Wylee and the ranch’s security.
The buzz of my phone had me jerking in surprise, even though I’d been gripping the device like it was a lifeline the entire time I’d been in the emergency room.
DAD: What the hell is going on, Ducky?
Tears pricked. I closed my eyes. Embarrassment and failure spiraled through me.
I couldn’t respond. I should have been pissed at whoever had told Dad, but I couldn’t find it in me.
DAD: Just tell me you’re okay.
Thankfully, an attendant came to take me for the CT scan before I could respond. I handed Parker my phone before I was wheeled away.
“Can you text Dad back for me?”
He gave me that hooded look, the one draped with concern, and I closed my eyes against it.
When I came back from the scan, I didn’t ask for my phone back. I didn’t ask what Dad had said or whether he was racing back from Australia to rescue me. It was cowardly, but I didn’t think I could handle his concern on top of Parker’s without completely falling apart.
I didn’t want to hear Dad say this wasn’t my fault.
Because the truth was, I’d brought this back with me from San Diego, and I’d been in charge of the boat when it had begun to sink.
I hadn’t bailed it out quickly enough, and now our guests were checking out and running away.
Who could blame them? Who would stay after being shot at?
No one. Not even the guests who hadn’t been on the ride today would put themselves in harm’s way by sticking around.
Parker’s phone buzzed again. “Wylee,” he said with a frown and stepped out of the room yet again .
The doctor returned while he was gone. She wheeled a stool over to the side of the bed and sat beside me. “How are you feeling?”
“Other than my head pounding like a stampede’s going through it, I’m okay.”
“Nausea?”
I bit my cheek. Yes, but I didn’t want to tell her I’d been battling it for days.
“I’d like to keep you overnight,” she said.
I started to shake my head and caught myself, knowing it would hurt like hell. “I’d much rather go home.”
“The man with you, Parker, is it? He’ll stay with you and follow our instructions for checking on you throughout the night?” she asked.
I wanted Parker to stay up all night for other reasons—much better ones that had to do with the intensity of our kiss. But I could hardly tell the doctor I was going home, hoping to have a wild round of sex. She’d never let me out the door.