Chapter 8 #4
He should’ve wanted to go back to the moment he’d lost his first mate, giving himself a second chance at saving him, at making the right choice.
But sitting there on bended knee, staring at the most beautifully broken man he’d ever seen…
Gabriel couldn’t bring himself to wish for that.
This time, the scent of shame came from himself.
Gracefully, he got to his feet, meeting Nicholas’s watery gaze through the reflection of the glass. He wanted nothing more than to hurry to his side.
“May I approach?”
“Yes,” Nicholas said miserably, as if he hated the way he needed Gabriel.
A single tear escaped him, and Gabriel pressed his lips to it, tasting his turmoil, sharing in his misery. Nicholas went rigid, but then leaned in, seemingly unconsciously.
“I understand, Nicholas,” he whispered. “But the truth is, as much as I hate seeing you like this, your crisis is what brought you to me, and I’m not sorry I met you.”
It was true. Gabriel wanted him, and he’d need to make peace with the fact that they’d have to wade through this muck and come out on the other side to have each other. Nothing could be changed now, but maybe everything good could be gained.
Nicholas raised a trembling hand to Gabriel’s exposed neck, trailing his fingers along the column of it, and over the pulsing vein. His fingertips traveled higher, to the smooth skin below his dark eyes. Gabriel stood preternaturally still, but he at least remembered to blink.
Lust lit up every cell in his body, triggering his need to feed. He called on over two centuries’ worth of discipline to cool the fire roaring through him.
“You’re beautiful,” Nicholas said, soft fingers gliding over Gabriel’s moistened lips. “Terrifying, but beautiful.”
Gabriel’s heart warmed from the compliment, but his current body was a shell that didn’t belong to him. A mirage. Did Nicholas find the man in his dreams beautiful? Sexy? Dare Gabriel ask?
“Thank you.”
Nicholas resumed his observation of the moonlit sky. He sounded steady when he spoke again.
“Do you think Marcus can drive me home?”
“I thought you were going to stay the night here.” Gabriel checked the time. “It’s late. You can have my bed. I’ll sleep in one of the guest rooms.”
“I’d really rather go home. It’s been a long night, and I could use the familiarity of my own bed.” He glanced down at himself. “My own clothes, my own space.”
Gabriel’s lips formed a hard line, but he understood. He pulled his phone from his pocket and shot Marcus a text.
“He’ll be here shortly.”
“Does he live close by?”
“I don’t know where he lives, to tell you the truth. I allow him his secrets. I’ll ride with—”
“No,” Nicholas cut in. “It’s hard to think when you’re near.”
“Okay.” He’d respect his wishes tonight.
“Can I have a glass of water while we wait?”
“Of course, and I’ll get you shoes and a warm jacket to put on, too.”
“You’ve gotta be at least two shoe sizes bigger than me. It’ll be more dangerous trying to walk in your shoes than running up my front steps in socks. I’m going from door to door. I’ll be fine.”
“A jacket, then,” said Gabriel, accepting no argument on the matter.
He stealthily added a drop of his blood to the water before handing the glass to Nicholas. He’d finished all of it by the time Gabriel returned.
“Marcus is here.” He slid his suit jacket from earlier across Nicholas’s shoulders. “I’ll walk you out.”
Marcus waited near the open back door of the car, greeting Nicholas with a disarming smile. Gabriel could sense Nicholas’s ease. Rayyaan had that effect on people.
“I’ll shut him in.”
With a nod, Marcus folded himself into the driver’s seat, giving them a moment alone.
“So what now?” Nicholas huddled deeper into the jacket.
Gabriel thought about the conversation they’d had in his bathroom, about how they’d both like to discover who they truly were. They would get nowhere if they continued as they had tonight, if they dwelled on regret, and if Nicholas didn’t find it in himself to let go of who he thought he was.
“What makes you come alive?” Gabriel asked. “What’s something you do just for you?”
Nicholas considered that. “I fence, but I do that with Mateo, and sometimes it feels like I do it for him too. I mean, I love it, but it’s how we bond, connect. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have much in common.”
That seemed to sadden him.
“There is one other thing…”
“What is it?”
Nicholas puffed out his cheeks. “It might sound silly.”
“Nothing you say will ever sound silly to me.”
He bit his lip, the breeze blowing his hair around his face. “I’d rather show you.”
“When?” Gabriel stepped in closer, once again intruding on Nicholas’s space. He couldn’t help himself.
“Um, tomorrow?”
Gabriel checked the time again. It was after midnight. “Tomorrow, as in today? Or the next tomorrow?”
Nicholas laughed, the sound better than any music Gabriel had ever heard. “Okay. I guess today works.”
“Okay,” Gabriel repeated, and for the first time in too long, that word actually meant something to him. Because before Nicholas walked into his life, Gabriel had been anything but okay.