Chapter 24
Nicholas
Darkness and the absence of pain were the first things Nicholas noticed when he woke. Then came the warmth of something pinning him down. His eyes fluttered open, then closed when white light assailed him. Had he made it into heaven after all?
His skin felt alive, as though it were its own corporeal entity, and he could’ve sworn he heard the roar of the sun rising in the far distance. He never imagined life after death would feel so visceral.
Hunger nagged at his gut, coiling like a riled snake and burning like the gates of hell. Maybe that was where he’d been banished to. The punishment would’ve fit the sin.
The longer he lay there, the more alert he became, until a synchronized thumping breached his sensitive ears. Two hearts were beating as one.
Pain seared through his skull as he fought to reopen his eyes against the bright, blinding light. He blinked at the room once his vision cleared, noting the familiarity of the decor.
Austere walls adorned with primitive art. Masculine furnishings that blurred the line between modern and olden.
But it was the consuming scent of summer rain and sweetness that pulled his gaze to the creature weighing him down. Gabriel slept with his ear pressed to Nicholas’s chest.
No…
Fury, hate, and violence obliterated the last of Nicholas’s confusion. Ice filled his veins, and the urge to destroy awakened him in a way he’d never experienced before. He’d only intended to push Gabriel off him, but ended up hurling him across the vast room instead.
Gabriel’s body left an imprint in the plaster, debris rolling off his bulky shoulders as he landed with the grace of a cat. Eyes flecked with fear and gold met his; wonder and reverence also swirling within their depths.
Intricate lines as deep blue as the sea and as cold as the Antarctic scaled Nicholas’s limbs, and his panting breaths formed icy clouds in front of him.
An apology slipped from Gabriel’s lips, but it didn’t cure the insidious sorrow eating its way through Nicholas. Nothing would.
“What have you done to me?”
“I… I turned you.”
A breeze as cold as winter sent the curtains fluttering, and the dim lamplight that had seemed so blinding a few minutes ago flickered. Both caught Gabriel’s attention.
“Hold your breath, Nicholas.”
He took a step forward, causing Nicholas to jump backward into a corner.
“Your senses are overwhelming you.”
The rustic chandelier swung precariously above the bed, ice chips forming along its crystal pendants.
“Shutting down as many as you can will help. You don’t need to breathe.”
Nicholas clamped his hands over his ears, although he was sure Gabriel had spoken in a hushed tone.
“W-what’s happening to me?”
The lamp buzzed, the bulb fighting for its life.
“Your emotions are heightened. We need to try to level them.”
But Nicholas didn’t want to calm them. He wanted to rage, to damage everything surrounding him—including Gabriel.
Gabriel retreated a step as if sensing that.
Nicholas’s vision sharpened and cooled, and he moved to the standing mirror with trepidation. His eyes were bathed in blue light, and frost dusted his lashes.
He inched closer, scrutinizing this new, foreign body, mouth slightly agape.
He looked and felt stronger than he should.
Panic seized his throat as his teeth shifted, his upper canines lengthening while he watched in wide-eyed horror.
Nicholas grasped them, twisting and pulling to no avail.
They were as dense and durable as ivory.
A throbbing sensation started in his fingertips, and his nails blackened before elongating into claws.
“Oh, God.”
They curved like talons, pointing at the tips, and shone like polished marble.
The light bulb blew, meeting its end, sending a flare of envy through Nicholas.
A broken sound cut through the air, coming from somewhere deep inside his fractured soul.
“How could you do this to me?”
Ruby-red tears streamed past his cheeks, making his stomach roil with both hunger and disgust. Gabriel had turned him into his worst nightmare, an abomination he couldn’t escape.
“I couldn’t just let you die, Nicholas. I couldn’t.”
“I’d rather have burned in hell.” His seething words were garbled, expelled between razor-sharp teeth.
The acrid smell of Gabriel’s regret singed Nicholas’s nostrils, scorching everything in its path on the way down.
Vibrating, he backed into his corner again, holding his breath as instructed. He refused to let the scent of Gabriel’s anguish thaw the anger blazing inside of him. Nicholas would cling to his profound hatred. It was the only thing he had left.
His pulse was a steel drum, the stifling air cutting against his sensitized skin.
Even the plush carpet felt abrasive against his bare feet.
He was overstimulated by sensation and aware of every strand of hair on his body.
It caused racing thoughts and agitation, and a need to expel the storm gaining momentum inside him.
The brass curtain rods snapped, sending the sheer paneling to the floor.
“Nicholas… Please, let me help you.”
“I don’t want your help! You did this to me! You!”
The barbed words were wrenched from the bottomless pit of grief expanding in him, shattering the windows and throwing open the bedroom door. The pipes groaned from within the bathroom.
“How could you, Gabriel? How could you do this?”
Blood trickled past the two puncture wounds in his bottom lip, and he licked it away, shuddering at the taste. Shame corroded him, killing everything that had once been good, warping his wants and needs.
Frost webbed the ceiling as the walls seemed to close in, promising to swallow him whole. With a cry loud enough to awaken the dead, Nicholas lifted the nightstand over his head and flung it across the room.
A portion of it embedded itself into the wall near Gabriel; the two hind legs—covered in ice—cracking and falling to the floor. Gabriel hadn’t even flinched. He stood there looking pained yet stoic, as if ready to accept whatever hell Nicholas wanted to inflict.
Nicholas tore into the bed next, slicing the posts in half with a swipe of his claws before flipping the wooden frame onto its side.
Storm clouds converged beyond the house, as though drawn to his darkness, nourishing the beast yawning to life inside of him.
He charged into the sitting area with a snarl, cracking the antique chaise down the center with one swift kick before sinking a fist into the opposite wall. His whole forearm disappeared inside it.
Shouting his fury, Nicholas whirled on the chest of drawers, attacking it with fists and feet until only rubble remained. The mahogany armoire met a similar end.
He tore through the room, coldness occupying his heart and lungs. Nothing remained when his rampage ended. Nothing except him and the other monster in the room.
Heaving, he held Gabriel’s seemingly repentant gaze in the following silence.
“I’m—”
“Don’t,” Nicholas warned, tone guttural. “Don’t you dare apologize for what you’d do again if given the chance.”
“What would you have done if you were me, Nicholas? What choice would you have made?”
“The right one.”
He sounded righteous and indignant, but he didn’t care.
He and Gabriel were not the same, nor would they ever be.
Nicholas would never wish this life on anyone, would never take someone’s choice away from them.
He’d never make a bargain that would see a child born into a cursed life the way he had been.
Gabriel sagged against what was left of the wall, naked, and even more beautiful through Nicholas’s new eyes.
He’d always appeared youthful, though that hadn’t detracted from the danger that seemed to lurk beneath.
If anything, it had made him even more alarming—something Nicholas had chosen to ignore.
But now, his defined cheeks seemed sculpted from the finest dark stone, and his raven-colored eyes sparkled bright enough to hypnotize or blind. His smooth skin and full lips begged for attention, and his body had been constructed with the sole purpose of making the mouth water.
Yes, he was beautiful, Nicholas admitted to himself. But he was also a lie.
“Let me see you.”
Gabriel looked down at himself. “It isn’t that simple.”
“Liar! Show me who you are!”
Nicholas fought the urge to approach him, afraid he’d peel the skin from his bones to get to the truth.
“No more lies, no more deceit, no more half-truths.”
“That isn’t how glamour works. It isn’t a simple illusion, an apparition that I can blink and make slip away at will. I am Gabriel. I have reshaped and become the body I live in. It’s a slow and painful process, and not one we can alternate between easily.”
Nicholas stepped over a pile of wooden shards, advancing while still maintaining some distance.
“I don’t care how it’s done, how much it hurts, or how long it takes. Do it. Undo the lie. Now.”
The air around them crackled as the temperature dropped below freezing. Plumes of cold smoke billowed from Gabriel’s blue-tinged lips, and Nicholas suspected that Gabriel could do something about it if he wanted to.
Instead, he closed his eyes in clear resignation, minutes passing where nothing happened at all.
Growing impatient, Nicholas had been about to prompt him, to demand he show his true self. But then Gabriel’s body began to distort, stretching and receding in odd places.
His face contorted painfully, his cheekbones expanding and hollowing, his complexion lightening before darkening again. Nicholas was on the verge of begging him to stop, but then he remembered he shouldn’t give a damn about Gabriel’s pain.
The transformation turned violent; Gabriel jerked and spasmed as his bones snapped and realigned. He slammed down onto his hands and knees with a growl, back bowing and rounding as the knobs of his spine grew prominent.