Chapter 24 #3
Muharib explained the innate gifts of the massasu dimae, and his theory as to how Nicholas received his early.
Soon his body was covered in frost, which then spread out to the far reaches of the room.
“Hold your breath, close your eyes, and focus on one singular thing.”
Nicholas did as told, putting all his energy into regaining control over himself, even if it meant concentrating on the one thing he badly wanted but refused to admit.
The blaring howl of the wind eventually eased, and so did the chaos of sensation under his skin. He was left feeling weak and empty, starved and lost.
Nightfall had descended by the time he opened his eyes; the room pitched in total black, the ice now water at his feet. He’d been grappling with himself for some time, grappling with the thing he wished for in that moment.
He fell to his knees, depleted; the rage and self-loathing slipping from his grasp, leaving a familiar loneliness behind.
“I’m here, Habibi.”
Nicholas clamped a hand over his mouth, holding in his sob at hearing Gabriel’s mooring voice. Against his will, it began to fill the hole inside him. Had he known what Nicholas prayed for? Had he known that he was Nicholas’s one singular thing?
Everything felt bigger in this new body, more intense and harder to hide, including his emotions. It didn’t stop him from trying.
“Where’s Zeke? And the others?” He needed something to hold, something that would love and hold him back.
“With Marcus.”
“Tell him to bring them to me.”
“You’re a danger to anything breathing right now, Nicholas. You need to learn to master your hunger. You need to feed.”
Nicholas scoffed, hot tears prickling his throat. “A danger to anything but you, you mean, right?” He still hadn’t looked over his shoulder at Gabriel, too afraid of what a glimpse of him might do in his vulnerable state.
“You think you can keep me locked up here with you forever? Or as long as it takes for me to forgive you? Because I won’t. I’ll never forgive you for this.”
His skin was cold and dripping wet. He hugged himself, seeking comfort from wherever he could find it.
“No. I will let you go, and I won’t ever bother you again, if that’s what you want. But I need to make sure it’s safe for you out there first. I need to teach you how to survive on your own.”
Gabriel’s self-sacrificing declaration made Nicholas feel untethered, his one constant since he’d been born.
Would it really be that easy for Gabriel to let him go when he’d committed unspeakable atrocities to have Zayn?
Was their blood-bond not as strong in this new life?
Now that they were mated, did Nicholas not live up to Gabriel’s desired expectations?
Was there a glitch in the reincarnation spell? Did he somehow not compare?
“I don’t need you to teach me anything, and I won’t drink blood.” His mouth watered at the mention of it, stomach pains stabbing at him.
“You think you hate yourself now, my love, but what about when you kill those you care about, or even a stranger, because your hunger has gotten the best of you?”
Nicholas hated that he was right, despised the way Gabriel spoke to him with such care. He twisted around, intending to rip into him, to blame him for everything all over again. He couldn’t manage it, though, not while Gabriel’s eyes drowned in a sea of red.
“Get out.” He couldn’t stand to look at him, couldn’t stand that after all this, he still couldn’t manage to truly hate him. “Get out! Get out! Get out!”
He kept yelling it until his vocal cords felt shredded, until tears weighed down his lashes. He held tightly to them, stubbornly refusing to let them fall.
Gabriel sank to the floor in front of Nicholas, pulling him onto his lap. Warmth seeped into Nicholas’s bones, and he reluctantly sagged into the comfort Gabriel offered.
“Get out,” he whimpered. “Get… out…”
“You need to feed, my love.”
He wanted to shout for him to not call him that, to never call him that again, but the little boy in Nicholas begged for him not to.
Gabriel slid his hand into the back of Nicholas’s hair, directing him to the crook of his neck.
Nicholas inhaled, fangs lengthening as the sweet scent of Gabriel’s blood rushed through his lungs.
“Take what you need, my love. Drink until your heart is content.”
Nicholas’s heart would never be content. His deepest wound would always reside there.
“I hate you,” he cried, voice quivering. “I hate you.”
“I know, Habibi. I know.”
Nicholas struck the plush artery running along the column of Gabriel’s throat, forcing him to his back.
Some other part of his brain took over, operating wholly on instinct and need.
Without warning or permission, Nicholas reached between them, guiding Gabriel’s slick cock to his opening.
He lowered, thrusting hard, fucking and drinking until the physical pain eased, until he was so blood-drunk that all he could do was fall asleep.
He drifted off to the sensation of Gabriel’s cum filling him, to the feeling of being home, and to a soft melody that he’d heard before, a melody that had saved him during the worst of his dreams.