Chapter 31 #3
“And because he isn’t beholden to me by a bond, that means his feelings can change. Maybe with enough distance and time, they will. Whether I told him the truth doesn’t change that.”
“Do you want his feelings to change?”
“I should. I have to give him that opportunity. I can’t intervene.”
Gabriel had never left anything to chance before, had never sat idle and allowed things to play out, to take their natural course. For Nicholas, he would. For Nicholas, he would do anything.
“And what if he doesn’t fall out of love with you?”
One could only hope.
“Then maybe he’ll see that it’s real, and then perhaps he can accept me for who I am. Both would need to happen if we’re to move forward.”
But neither could happen if the latter wasn’t accomplished first.
Marcus stared off into the rain with him, letting those words settle before whispering, “And what if he never comes back to you? Will you become Soren again?”
“No.”
He wasn’t saying he’d never kill again, because he would if there were ever a need.
Without hesitation or question.
But the requirements for a kill would be different, like in defense of someone he loved. Murder-for-hire felt miles away from the man Gabriel was now, the man Nicholas inspired him to be.
“What will you do? You aren’t meant to count coffee beans.”
Gabriel had been thinking about that a lot lately.
Thinking about what else he was good at.
He could sit around and do nothing, of course.
He had enough resources to do just that.
But gardening and building sandcastles may become tiring after a century or two.
Besides, neither of those options was appealing without Nicholas.
“I’m not sure yet,” he replied.
Marcus hummed, tipping his drink back, and it struck Gabriel that his decisions would alter his friend’s life too. By choice, Rayyaan had dedicated himself to Gabriel.
Gabriel’s ambitions were his, and his sins were shared by Rayyaan, too. They moved as one, with Gabriel at the head.
“What will you do?” he asked.
Marcus tilted his head, locks brushing past his shoulders now.
“What I’ve always done, only now I’ll have more time to do it.” His lips twitched.
“And what is that exactly? What do you do when no one is watching?”
Marcus was a private man, even more so than Gabriel. For as long as he’d known him, Gabriel didn’t know much about him at all. Marcus must have picked up on the direction of his thoughts.
“You know what you need to know, Sayyidi. You know enough to trust me.”
Gabriel may not have known the intricacies of Marcus’s mind, but he knew his heart. Knew it was steadfast, warm to those he loved, true.
“Yes, I do.”
Marcus’s eyes flashed electric white behind his shades, and he clinked his glass against Gabriel’s. They resumed their thoughtful silence—or as silent as it could be, given Maxim’s light snores.
“Mind if I take one of your guest rooms tonight? The lights are out at my place.”
Gabriel didn’t have it in him to respond to his friend’s attempt at humor with amusement. He appreciated him for trying all the same.
“Sure, but just for tonight. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Look at that,” Marcus mused between long strides toward the hall. “The grouch has returned. Maybe you will be alright after all.”
Maxim woke, standing at attention, tongue lolling.
“I thought you were supposed to be keeping an eye on me,” Gabriel said. “You fell asleep on the job.”
That was why Nicholas had left him. So that Gabriel wouldn’t be alone. The kind gesture hurt just as much as it healed, because it showed that he cared, but he left anyway.
Maxim barked low in his throat.
“Fine. You’re forgiven. Now go make sure Rayyaan is okay.” He wanted some time to himself. “Go.”
Maxim ran for the stairs, and Gabriel returned to the storm, raising his glass.
A while later, something unseen and gentle brushed against his exposed forearms, pebbling the skin. Something as soft as a baby bird’s wing, as delicate as a summer breeze, or a whispered apology.
Nicholas.
This was intentional, more than the intense empathic ability that lived—unbeknownst to Nicholas—between them.
He knew.
The stab of pain was sudden, piercing between Gabriel’s ribcage before turning his limbs to stone. A door within his mind slammed shut, bolts slipping into place, abandoning him to the dark.
His roar was a battle cry that shook the cliff’s foundation.
The tumbler shattered within his grasp, shards embedding into his fevered skin. Fire exploded in the hearth, an inferno engulfed his trembling fists, and flames licked across the patch of ocean in front of him.
Blood-tears seared his cheeks, heat rushed through his pulsing veins, and his fangs were hotter than burning coal.
He turned at the sound of rushing footsteps, Marcus’s large body filling the door frame.
Gabriel leaned his blazing palms against the desk, paper and wood crackling as they burned. He stared wildly into Marcus’s illuminated eyes, barely holding on to his own leash as the cause of his devastation tore past his scorched throat.
“Hamza.”