Chapter Two
Kytten
“Does Val know about the cutting?” she asked.
I shook my head, my eyes locked on Cash. He stared back. Giving me strength from a distance. But he wasn’t close enough.
I rubbed my legs, but I didn’t scratch. If I scratched, he would know. But if he knew, would he come?
“How do you think she will feel when she finds out?”
My eyes snapped to Dr. Jefferson. “She won’t find out. You can’t tell her. Isn’t that how this works? You can’t tell anyone what I tell you, right?”
“No, I won’t tell anyone what we talk about unless you ask me to.
But, Kytten, everyone here knows what happened this morning.
It is unlikely that everyone will keep your secret.
In fact, it’s quite possible King has already called Valhalla.
She is your president. And I know you understand the rules. ”
She was right. King was bound to call a member’s president if they were hurt. I stood from my chair and started walking in his direction. When Cash saw me, he jumped up and met me halfway.
“What’s wrong, Rosie?”
“Did King call Val?” I asked, my eyes locked on the Silver Shadows’ president.
Cash looked over his shoulder at King and motioned for him to come forward. When he approached, I asked, “Did you call Val?”
King looked at Cash, then back to me. He didn’t answer right away, and my skin began to crawl. I scratched at my arm.
“Did you call her?” I shouted.
“No. Cash asked me not to,” he answered. And I let out a breath.
I threw my arms around Cash. “Thank you. You can’t tell her.”
“Rosie, she has to be told at some point,” Cash whispered.
“Why?” I asked, stepping back. “She doesn’t need to know.”
“Baby, settle down. No one is going to tell her until you are ready.”
“Kytten.” I turned to find Dr. Jefferson behind me. “Let’s finish talking, ok?”
I looked at King, “You promise you won’t call her?”
“I can’t promise that. But I can promise I will talk to you about it first.”
It was the best I would get, and I knew that. MC presidents were sticklers for rules. Laws be damned, but MC rules were as sacred as a goddamn Bible.
“Go on, baby. I’m not leaving.” He kissed my forehead and turned me around. He wouldn’t let me out of this; that was clear.
I followed Dr. Jefferson back to our seats. When I sat down, I looked for him immediately. He smiled and winked as he sat down.
“Let’s go back to when you were on the street. Did Mimic usually leave you alone while he got food?”
I snapped my eyes to hers. “It wasn’t his fault,” I said adamantly.
“I wasn’t suggesting that it was. I just want to understand how everything happened. No one is at fault.”
“It’s my fault,” I whispered.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I didn’t listen. I didn’t stay where he told me to.” I sought out Cash. I needed him closer. He was too far away, and the monsters knew that.
“What happened after your mom left?”
“She didn’t leave. He took her.” I glared at Dr. Jefferson. “She loved us.”
“Of course she did. What happened after he took her?”
I looked down at my shoes. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to talk about any of it. I didn’t need to deal with shit. As long as Cash was here, everything stayed quiet.
He knew now. I didn’t have to hide the scars. I could talk to him. I didn’t need her.
“Kytten?”
I blew out a breath. “We waited. We waited for weeks. No one noticed she was gone. No one knew about us, so there was no one to check on us.”
“What about food?”
“We had food. And we learned to save it. Eventually, the landlord came around looking for the rent. He saw us. He didn’t know who we were and said he was calling the cops, so we left.”
“Where did you go?”
I looked around the backyard. It was nice here. Cash had told Thorne I was his old lady. That was before he knew. He hadn’t asked me. Now I didn’t know if he would. But I wanted to stay. Maybe I could stay with Sypher and Dante. Or I could go back to the cabin Grayson let me use.
Once Val took Amber home, there would be no room for me there. I scratched at my leg. I didn’t realize I was doing it until Dr. Jefferson reached over and took my hand.
“Kytten, what’s going through your head right now?”
I shrugged.
She sighed and sat back. “Kytten, I want to help you. But I need you to talk to me. What are you feeling right now?”
“Angry,” I answered without thought. It was true. I was angry.
“Why are you angry?”
“Because I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Can you tell me why?” She studied me as she waited for my answer.
“I don’t trust you.”
“Ok, let’s talk about why. Trust is very important. It is something that isn’t easily earned, but often easily broken. I know I haven’t earned your trust yet. But have I done something to break it?”
“Danika calls you mom. You’re not her mom.”
Dr. Jefferson closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, I saw something different. The doctor was gone and Melissa was there.
“No, I did not give birth to Dani. But I am her mother. The only one she has.” I opened my mouth to object, and she held up her hand.
“I am going to do something we are taught never to do. I am going to share a little of my story with you. Normally, I wouldn’t try to explain myself.
If I couldn’t establish trust with a patient, then I would refer them to someone else.
I could do that with you. But with Haizley working with Cash, I would have to refer you to someone online.
I don’t want to do that. You will probably hear my story in the clubhouse anyway, so it isn’t really breaking protocol.
“When Danny left, Dante continued bringing Danika to me. I worked with them both daily. We built a relationship. When Dante had to leave, he asked me to keep Dani. He didn’t go into details, but he did tell me about the clubs they were in.
Danny never told Dante about my association with the Silver Shadows.
Neither did I. Even after he asked me to come here if they didn’t return.
“But what Danny did before he left was put together a paper trail that named me as Danika’s mother.
They asked me to take on that role in their absence.
And I did. With everything I had. I knew Dani’s mother had died.
And I didn’t know if Danny and Dante would ever come back.
So, I did what they asked, and I became her mother.
“Danny and Dante have moved here so that I can continue to be in Dani’s life. So I can be her mother. A mother is not just someone who gives birth to you. It is someone who loves you. Protects you. Is there for you. Like Val is for you.”
“Val isn’t my mother. She’s Amber’s mother,” I muttered, searching out Cash. I needed him.
“Do you think a mother can’t love more than one child?”
“I’m not her child.”
“Val took you in when you were eleven years old. You don’t think she sees you as her child?”
I looked down at my shoes. “She used to,” I confessed.
“When did she stop?”
“When she found her real daughter. That’s when she forgot about me.”
I stood from my chair and walked away. I needed Cash. I couldn’t take it anymore. My skin crawled with the mutterings of the monsters as they tried to wake.
When he saw me, he ran to me. Pulling me into his arms, he asked, “Are you ok?”
“No. I don’t want to talk to her.”
“Would you rather talk to Haizley?” he asked, searching my eyes.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone. You make the monsters quiet. I don’t need anyone else.”
“Baby, I can’t be with you every second. I wish I could. I don’t want to just keep the monsters quiet, Rosie. I want you to kill the fucking things. You can’t do that unless you talk about it.”
I knew he was right. When we rescued women and children, we had them talk to someone. They started with Harmony. Then, if they needed more, she would refer them to someone else when we placed them in their new home.
“I can’t do any more today.”
“Ok, Rosie. Let me talk to Mellie.”
I waited while he spoke to Dr. Jefferson. Their words appeared heated, with Dr. Jefferson shaking her head and Cash doing most of the talking.
“Hey, Rosebud.” I turned at my brother’s voice.
“Hi.” I smiled up at him. He was so tall. Almost as tall as Cash. I wondered if he got that from our dad. Cash knew who our dad was. But I hadn’t asked.
Did I want to know?
Would it change anything?
We didn’t even know if he knew about us. Thorne was right when he said Mom tried to keep people from knowing we were there. But she never told us why.
“Can we spend some time together?”
I turned to look at Cash. He was done speaking to Dr. Jefferson and headed our way. When he reached us, he pulled me back against him.
“What’s up, Mimic?”
“I want to spend time with my sister,” he answered.
“What do you think, Rosie?”
“I think I’d like that.”
Cash took my hand and brought it to his lips. “Go spend time with your brother.”
“She doesn’t need your permission,” Thorne snapped.
Cash glared at my brother. “I’m gonna give you some leeway because there is a lot of shit going on right now, and you just got your sister back. But don’t forget who the fuck you’re talking to.”
Cash stepped between us, giving Thorne his back. “I’ll be inside. Don’t leave the property.” I nodded, and Thorne scoffed behind Cash’s back.
“You’re not coming with us?”
“No, baby. Spend some time with your brother.”
“But, Cash—”
Cash cut me off with a kiss. His lips on mine pushed everything else away. If I could just live the rest of my life attached to him, everything would be perfect.
“I love you, Rosie. You’ve got this.”
“I love you, too.” He leaned down and kissed me again, with no regard to my brother standing there until Thorne cleared his throat.
Cash straightened up. “I’m right inside,” he said again, and I nodded before he glared at Thorne one more time, then went inside.
Thorne watched as Cash strolled off.
“Do you know what you’re getting into with him?”
I looked at my brother. He was so handsome. He had our mother’s eyes. “Yea.”
“You know he just buried his old lady a few months ago. Spent the first few weeks drunk off his ass, now suddenly he’s into you?”
“You don’t think he could be into me?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
“I just don’t want you getting used. What if he’s just replacing his old lady?”
“What if he is?”
“Rosebud.”
“No, Thorne, stop. You don’t know who I am or what I can handle. You weren’t there when I grew up.”
He stepped back as if I’d punched him. And honestly, I thought about it.
“You don’t know what I’ve been through, Rose. You have no fucking idea of the life I’ve lived.”
“I know. But I’d like to.” I threw myself at him. “I don’t want to fight with you. Not when I just got you back.”
Thorne took a deep breath and hugged me tight. “Let’s go for a walk.”