Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kytten
“Are you okay?” Cash asked. I smiled at him.
“I am. Dr. Dunaway was right. The weight has lifted. I can’t say the monsters are gone, or that I’ll never call them back. But I know I’m stronger than they are. It will take time, and that’s okay.”
“I am so fucking proud of you.” The way he smiled at me set off the butterflies. It was a similar feeling to the monsters under my skin, but so much more. It was a feeling I reconciled.
A feeling I craved.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, brushing a hair out of my face. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his fingertips on my skin.
“For loving me. For not leaving me.”
“Never fucking happening. As long as you don’t kill any nuns or kick any puppies. Which, now that I know how you feel about dogs, I might have to keep an eye on you.”
The laugh bubbled up from deep inside, and it was so loud and so freeing. This man was so different from the man I had met on the mountain. He’d had his own demons to conquer. But together we would slay them all.
“Kytten?” I turned to Melissa. “Can we talk?”
I bit my lip and nodded. She led me to the couch, and I breathed a little sigh of relief. I wasn’t sure I was ready for another heavy conversation, and the fact that people milled around us made me think this would be light.
I was wrong.
“I want to tell you what happened to me.” My heart began to beat heavily in my chest. I knew I had recognized something in church when she reached for my hand.
It was more than a therapist giving someone strength.
We shared a bond that too many shared. We belonged to a club no woman ever wanted to join.
One we were forced into without a choice.
Some people might say that I allowed Syrena to assault me.
That I was old enough to say no. They would say if I enjoyed it then I wanted it.
But I was a child. Even if I had sought her out, it would have been wrong.
Syrena was an adult. Well into her twenties.
She knew right from wrong and used my age and innocence to push me into something I had no business being a part of.
I listened to Melissa tell me her story about the man who took her innocence when she was even younger than me, and I thought about all the children—boys and girls—who were assaulted every day by people they knew. People they trusted.
Like Amber. I knew her story now. I knew what she had endured. The man she believed was her father, the man who took his place and then sold her. And the man responsible for her being in that dungeon in Louisiana. She probably didn’t see it now, but all those things made her who she was today.
She was sweet and kind. She accepted everyone. But she was also strong and courageous and independent. Just like me. We were kindred spirits, and when we found her and brought her home, I would help her the way everyone here had helped me.
I no longer saw her as the enemy. Someone who would take my place. Push me out of the family I belonged to. The truth was, Amber and I belonged to the same family. The same club.
“I want you to know that I will always be here for you. As a therapist or a friend. Whatever you need.”
“Thank you, Melissa.” I hugged her tight. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.”
“Don’t apologize. I understand more than you know.
I wasn’t exactly my best self when Danny and Dante returned.
I was so afraid they would take Danika away that I lashed out at Danny.
I’m not proud of that. But emotions are hard sometimes.
It’s much easier helping others manage their emotions than it is managing my own. ” She chuckled, and I smiled.
That was an understatement.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
“You aren’t alone.”
Melissa hugged me again and then left me to think about everything that had happened over the past twelve hours. I never did finish talking with my brother.
I looked around the room, and Sam caught my eye. She smiled and mouthed the words ‘in his room . ’ I thanked her and lifted myself from the couch. There was no time like the present.
Cash’s arm caught me around the middle, and he pulled me back against his chest. His teeth bit my ear and he whispered, “Where are you off to?”
“Going to find my brother.” My words came out breathy and sultry, and I felt his hard dick in the small of my back.
“Maybe he can wait a little longer?”
His lips trailed down my neck, and I asked, “Who?”
His dark chuckle reverberated through my body, landing squarely on my clit. He turned me in his arms and looked deep into my eyes. “I want you.”
“I want you, too.” It was the only response I had. I always wanted him. No matter how many times we were together, I always wanted more.
Cash lifted me with his big hands covering my ass. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my legs around his waist. It was a long way to his room. And I knew I would be bouncing on his dick as he carried me up two flights of stairs. I would be so wound up that the moment he touched me, I would explode.
Only Cash wasn’t taking me to his room. He had another idea. His hand pushed the ladies’ room door open, and when it closed behind us, I reached over and locked the door.
“Couldn’t wait?” I asked on a laugh.
“Fuck, no.”
His lips crashed into mine, and any thoughts about where we were vanished. I couldn’t think. I could only feel.
Sitting me on the counter, he let his hands roam over me. Pushing my shirt up and over my head, he reached behind and unclasped my bra.
“You look sexy as fuck in these, but God sometimes I hate them,” he growled as he attacked my nipples. Taking one between his lips, and the other between his fingers, he rolled them both at the same time.
My head fell back as I basked in the glorious feeling of him enjoying my body. There was something powerful in knowing you could make your man lose control without uttering a single word.
I loved the way he manhandled me. The way he dominated my tiny body and used it for his pleasure. There was something to be said for surrendering that control to someone you loved and trusted.
There was nothing I wouldn’t let him do to me.
His mouth returned to mine, and his tongue swirled inside me. His hands made quick work of my boots and jeans, and it wasn’t long before I was in nothing but a pair of lace panties.
“Beautiful, sexy, strong, courageous...” He punctuated each word with a kiss down my body. Starting with my lips and moving to my neck. Then to my shoulders, and breasts. Trailing kisses down my torso as he described everything he saw in me. Things I never saw in myself.
“Loving, helpful, protective...”
He continued as he kissed the largest of my protruding scars. Any time he was between my legs, he brought his focus to the thing that held my shame. I knew what he was doing.
One day it might work.
He wanted me to know that even my scars were beautiful.
Because they were part of who I was. That was what he told me.
The first time he made love to me after he discovered them, and every time since, he had drilled into me that though they were part of my story, they didn’t define who I was. They weren’t the sum of my worth.
I was more than the life that I had lived.
His tongue licked at the scars, making his way toward my center. He pulled my panties to the side and swiped his tongue through the slick wetness that had gathered there.
I fell back on my elbows, my head hitting the mirror behind me, and his head popped up.
“You okay?”
I shook my head. “No, go back to what you were doing.”
“Did you hurt your head?” He tried to stand, and I squeezed my knees together, holding him in place.
“If you leave me like this, I will cut off your dick,” I growled.
He snickered at my words and stood anyway, bringing my legs with him.
“Noooo, get back down there and lick my pussy.”
“Baby, I need to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”
“I will be fucking fine when your tongue is back in my pussy.”
He leaned in and kissed me. There were trace amounts of my flavor on his tongue as he battled with mine. His fingers toyed with my clit before plunging inside me. When I growled again, he finally pulled back and dropped to his knees. Laughing again when I let out a long, shattered sigh.
He added a second finger as he latched onto my clit, sucking it between his lips while his tongue flicked over it. My breathing stuttered. My body tensed, and I grabbed his hair, desperate to hang on to something as I floated higher and higher.
He sped up his ministrations, his fingers fucking me relentlessly as he licked and lapped at me.
“Come on my fingers, Rose.” His voice was harsh in its demand. My body reacted to the deep vibrations his words caused against my center, and before I knew what was happening, I exploded.
My scream was loud. I gave no thought to the fact that others would hear us on the other side of the door. In that moment, I didn’t care if the whole goddamn town heard us.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” His words washed over me, and I shivered as he stood. I couldn’t open my eyes. My body was spent. I needed a nap, and this was as good a place as any.
The sound of the snap on his jeans made me smile. I peeked one eye open and asked, “My turn?”
“Fuck, no. I’m not done yet.” He pulled his hard cock from his jeans, and I marveled at him. Licking my lips, I reached between my legs and grabbed him. He swatted my hand away, and I smiled. He was so pushy sometimes, but I loved it.
“Play with your tits while I fuck your wet cunt.”
I reached up and pinched my nipples. They were so sensitive, and I wondered for the first time about nipple clamps. Then I wondered about toys. I had a vibrator. Not that I had used it since coming to the clubhouse. But I wondered what Cash thought about toys.
“How do you feel about toys?”
His head snapped up so fast I thought he’d get whiplash. His smile was predatory as he shoved himself inside me. I screamed out again as my back arched into him.
“Baby, we can go shopping tomorrow. A trip to Denver, and I’ll buy you anything you want.”
I guess that answered my question. He rammed his hard as steel cock in and out as he held my ankles up. My head hit the mirror again, and I moaned.
“Shit,” he gasped and released my ankles, laying them against his chest. He grabbed my thighs and held me in place as he fucked me hard and fast. That was when I knew my pleasure, my safety, would always be his priority.
He lifted me from the counter, and I grabbed his shoulders, trying to hold on. He held my hips and lifted me up, then pushed me down on him over and over.
“Squeeze my dick, Rosie. Make me come.”
His dirty words, his command, they did something inside me.
They hit my heart. He wasn’t demanding that I do what he said.
Though he could tell me what to do for the rest of my life and I would obey almost without question.
But no, he was again giving me the control.
The authority over his own release. He trusted me the way I trusted him and that had the power to destroy me in the best possible way.