Chapter Eight
Havoc
I purposely picked this movie because I knew it would make her want to curl up next to me.
Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment, but I need this.
After my day, I need to hold her in my arms, smell the strawberry scent of the shower gel and lotion she uses, and feel her soft skin against mine.
Maybe I need it more than she does, because today, regardless of what that bullet hit, I’m feeling my own mortality and I need her next to me probably as much as she needs me next to her.
I’m not stupid, and I know she cares for me in her own way.
There’s no way she would have married me otherwise, and I’m not stupid enough to question it.
Tonight, I’m willing to give into my wants, give into the way I know she can make me feel if I allow her to.
Maybe tonight I wanna play with fire, and I’m willing to get a little singed by the flame.
She gasps at the current scene as someone jumps out and scares the main female character. It causes her to hold onto the forearm I’ve looped around her neck with the tips of her fingers, slightly digging her nails into my flesh. It’s a turn on, because around her I feel like I’m a teenage boy.
“Don’t be scared,” I whisper into her ear, soothing her, trying to get her to relax against me.
“Never, at least not with your arms around me,” she answers as she turns her head into me. The seductive tone of her voice is one I’ve only heard once before. The night she kissed me in that bar. I swallow roughly against the memory of that night.
“What did you think about me? The night when I kissed you at the bar?”
It’s like we share the same brain sometimes. I clear my throat and try to put my thoughts into words. “It side-swiped me like a car not stopping at an intersection. I’d seen you around, I know you noticed it.”
“I did,” she shrugs in response. “Every once in a while when you would come to the house, your eyes would linger on me, and I’d wonder what you were thinking.”
“For the longest time I felt so goddamn sorry for you, that you were brought up in that bullshit, knowing you had nowhere to go. Then that summer, I heard you’d convinced them to let you go to Birmingham.
I thought this is her chance, her one shot to get out from under the thumb of her family and do something for her.
” I rub my hands up and down her arms. “I never expected you to be in that bar when I walked through the door.”
I close my eyes against the memory, living in it again.
I know what I want to say, and I’m chalking it up to that mortality shit.
“You were beautiful that night.” Quickly I amend my words, “Not that you aren’t beautiful all the time.
” She laughs softly. “But that night you had a confidence about you, like you were ready to take on the world and strangle it with your bare hands.”
For a minute I stop, open my eyes, and wonder how far I want to take this, do I tell her everything?
The flinch of a muscle spasm in my chest wall tells me I should.
What if we don’t have tomorrow? “You blew my mind when you kissed me.” I bring my hand up to my lips, remembering the moments.
“Your taste was something I couldn’t get out of my mouth for weeks.
Rubbed a couple out thinking about you, not gonna lie. ”
“You still do that now?” she asks softly.
She turns in my arms, facing me, her eyes sweeping across my face.
I can tell what she wants by the increased level of breathing and the way her eyes dilate.
It’s important to me she initiate this though; I don’t want her thinking later on that I took advantage of her.
Anything that happens between us, I want to be because she wants it and is feeling it – not because I pressure her.
“Take it, Leigh,” I whisper, challenging her. “You weren’t scared to take it in that bar.”
She licks her lips, leaning in farther. Our faces are centimeters apart, and it wouldn’t take much for either one of us to make our lips connect. “Now it’s so much different, it seems like everything is magnified. Our actions are so much more important.”
“It is; they are,” I agree with her, entwining my fingers in her hair. I hold her loosely against the palm of my hand, not wanting to influence the final move she makes. I want it to be entirely her decision. “It means more because we’ve made a commitment.”
“But are we supposed to keep this commitment forever?” she asks, her breath hot on my lips.
The fucking question of the century as far as I’m concerned. Perhaps neither one of us wants to be the person who says yes, but I want her to know it’s an option.
“We’ll keep it as long as we need to, and then as long as we want to.”
I don’t know if that’s the right or wrong answer, I’m unsure of what the future holds for us, but I do know this woman makes me want to be a better person.
She pushes me to want more in the future, like what everyone else wants.
And her? I want her to know what she wants, what she says, matters, I want her to know she can be somebody’s forever and it doesn’t matter how she started out.
I want her to feel cherished, treasured, and appreciated.
“Take what you want, Leigh,” I prompt her again, encouraging her to make the decision for herself. I’m against the arm of the couch, half-sitting, trying to look as if this woman doesn’t blow my mind.
And she does. She launches herself at me, straddling my hips.
I hold on tightly as she fuses our lips together, shoving her tongue in my mouth.
We lap and eat at each other like dogs in heat as we try to get closer to one another.
The clothes we both wear make it difficult, but I know I don’t want to go that far with her, at least not yet.
I don’t want to make it more awkward than it’s already going to be.
Hell, I know I could have her, but it doesn’t seem like it would be fair to either one of us, not when we’ve both had a day like we have.
And not when our feelings and actions on those emotions are so new.
She pulls back, and I chase her slightly, catching her bottom lip between my teeth, nipping hard enough that it makes her nipples pebble against the cloth of her tank top.
“I know how you feel,” I moan as I settle her between my thighs, against my cock.
“I can tell every time you’re turned on, because these nipples pucker.
They fucking poke against whatever piece of material you’re wearing, and every time I want to take them into my mouth.
” I reach up, cupping them with my palms, worrying the tight skin with my fingers.
“I wanna take them into my mouth,” I keep talking, letting my voice stay low and seductive – I don’t want this web of eroticism to leave us yet, “and tug hard against the tightness, I want to feel you pull away, make the bite of pain a little more intense. I want to tongue the ache and feel you thrust against me, the way you’re doing now,” I moan against her throat as I pull her closer to my body.
We’re moaning, thrusting, and dry humping on the couch with some horror movie playing in the background. I want to slow us down, but there’s no slowing down when you’re this close to the edge.
Pushing my hand up to her face, I put my index and middle finger into her mouth. The way she swirls around the tips of them gets my cock harder than ever. Inside my boxers I’m wet, needy, hard, and fucking frustrated.
When I’ve had as much as I can take of her tongue, I withdraw and move that hand down her body, beneath the elastic bands of the shorts and panties she wears. “You want it?” My mouth still rests against her throat, but I can feel her nod of permission.
As I begin the press into her body with my fingers, she moans, pushing against them, opening wider to me.
Her hand is grasping in the dark, and when she makes contact with my hard length, I nip at the tendons of her neck.
I want to fuck her, show her everything I can make her feel, but I know right now isn’t the time.
Instead, I go to work hard on her clit with my thumb, pushing and pulling my fingers into and out of her warmth.
“Holden,” she moans as she sneaks the questing hand between my clothing and skin, taking me into her palm.
Cupping her hand, she uses her thumb to glide over the head of my thickness, coating it with the moisture of my desire.
We’re straining against each other in a way I haven’t done since I was making out on a friend’s couch in high school.
That doesn’t seem to matter though, I can feel it coming, can feel completion beating down on me for the second time tonight.
This one, though, is going to be so much sweeter.
“Fuck, Leigh,” I groan, crushing her flesh in between my teeth, marking her so that anyone else who sees her knows she’s mine.
I’ve never been this type of guy, one who’s so into making others know my woman is taken.
But this one, I want her with everything I have, and when I feel her tighten around my fingers and I hear her sharp intake of breath?
I’m the baddest motherfucker on the planet because I did that to her.
Even as I lose my battle and my release covers the both of us in the end.
Leighton Thompson is a danger because she makes me feel, but she’s a danger I’ll sign up for every time, if given the chance.