Chapter 11 #3
“And now you’re wondering how you got in this deep?” Griff chuckled. “Yep, sounds about right.”
“I don’t know if he feels the same way. We barely know each other but . . .”
“But it feels like you’ve known each other forever?”
“Ugh, you get it,” Taylor said.
So much for being afraid. He was all freaking in, now. Heart and soul.
“You need to talk about this,” Griff said.
“I know, but . . .” Taylor grimaced. “I feel stupid and I’m worried.
What if I’m wrong, what if it’s just me?
What if I’ve miscalculated this whole thing?
I did that once before, and that really, really sucked.
And as bad as that was, this would somehow be even worse.
” He’d have to see Rocco all the time in town, a constant reminder of what he’d wanted and had never really had.
“You gonna let some dickhead in your past impact your future?”
“You suck.”
“I just tell it like it is,” Griff said reasonably. “Now, tell me what you want.”
“An invite for Rocco to be featured at the cookie exchange.”
“He gonna want to murder you for giving him all this extra work at the last minute?”
Taylor considered this. But then thought about the way Rocco’s face lit up every time the little jingle bells over the door at Jolly Java sounded.
How much he craved a spot in this community.
How dejected he’d been when he’d believed he was being pushed out.
He remembered how upset Rocco had been when he hadn’t managed to win the festival committee over and return to providing the cookies at the tree lighting.
“Honestly, I don’t think there’s much Rocco can’t do,” Taylor said, knowing it was true.
Griff smiled. “Spoken like a man in love.”
And Taylor didn’t think he was wrong.
After lunch, his afternoon was packed with meetings, but he managed to duck out of his office just before five, when he thought he might be able to catch Rocco before he headed out to the cocktail hour he’d said he was going to attend with Rebecca and a few of the other regulars he’d met at Jolly Java, including Emerson, the writer.
Sure enough, when Taylor peered into the windows, he could see the faint light emanating from the direction of the kitchen.
Pulling out his phone, he shot Rocco a quick text, asking if he had a minute to talk.
A few moments later, Rocco appeared at the front door, wiping his hands on a flour-dusted apron. “Hey, you,” he said as he unlocked the door and ushered Taylor in.
His curls were rumpled, and there was a smear of flour on his cheek, and Taylor couldn’t do anything else but lean in and kiss him. Sweet and hard, pouring all the passion he didn’t know how to deal with, all that bright light that terrified and enchanted him, into the kiss.
“Really, hey, you,” Rocco teased as he finally pulled back.
“What’s the special occasion? Thought you had meetings this afternoon.
” Thought we were meeting up after the cocktail hour.
Rocco didn’t say it, but Taylor didn’t need to hear it for him to know it was true.
But for the first time, he felt like maybe he should say it.
“I do, but I ducked out of one of them a bit early, ’cause I had some exciting news.”
“Yeah?” Rocco’s eyes sparkled.
“I got you an invite to the cookie exchange,” Taylor said.
Rocco looked floored. “You mean, the cookie exchange that I’ve been trying to get invited to for weeks now? For a freaking month?”
“Yep, that one,” Taylor said.
“Really? You got me in?” Rocco waited a second until Taylor nodded, and then he threw his arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
But it wasn’t tight enough for Taylor, who pulled him in even closer, until their bodies were pressed together.
“God, you’re amazing,” Rocco murmured into his neck.
Which really was ironic, because the amazing one was Rocco.
“I just asked—well, begged, really—Griff. And he owed me one, ’cause I handled that issue with the light tour.” And I think he took pity on me because he sees just how crazy about you I am.
“Well, he’s amazing. And you’re amazing. Even more amazing. For thinking of me.”
It would be so easy to just say, I think about you all the time. With Rocco gazing at him like this, his dark eyes full of affection and gratitude, it should be easy. After all, it probably wouldn’t be news.
But he’d been afraid for years, and even though he didn’t want to do what Griff said and let his past ruin his future, it was hard to get past that lump in his throat.
Then it didn’t matter, because Rocco was kissing him fiercely, and if their kiss a minute ago had been passionate, this one topped it easily.
Taylor groaned into Rocco’s mouth and they stumbled backwards, Taylor’s hip hitting one of the stools in front of the big bay window.
Rocco’s tongue stroked his, insistently, and a second later, he pulled back. “Do you have time to . . .”
Taylor’s cock was pleading that yes, he had time, and he really kind of did, and it wasn’t like they didn’t want each other. They had barely been able to keep their hands off each other all week.
But he also wondered if this sex was about more than just wanting each other.
It killed Taylor, but he took a breath and then another. “Not right now,” he said.
Rocco pouted. “But I wanted to give you a—”
That had been exactly what Taylor was afraid of. “Yeah, and believe me, I’m not ever going to turn you down, but that’s not what this is. A . . .favor for a favor.”
“It’s not?” Rocco frowned.
Taylor’s heart started beating a little faster. “No,” he said firmly. He was still afraid, but he cared about Rocco enough that he couldn’t let him believe that was true. They weren’t just doing a favor for a favor. They were having sex, they were goddamn together, because they liked each other.
Because you love him. And you hope he might love you back, someday.
“Okay,” Rocco said, smiling, and his eyes were full of that same feeling Taylor was full of, pressing against his breastbone. “I like the sound of that.”
It wasn’t everything Taylor should say, he knew that much, but it would be enough.
For now.