Chapter 51
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Astrid
I wasn’t planning on spending the afternoon alone with Berk, but I won’t turn down the opportunity.
I had the chance to meet Berk’s sister, Sinclair.
She seems lovely, and I’d guess that she’s right around my age.
Stevie was thrilled to see her aunt. She jumped into her arms as we approached her on the sidewalk in front of The Met.
After hugs all around and a few kisses on the forehead from Berk to his daughter, we parted ways with them.
Berk asked if I could go home with him, but Eloise is minding Vinyl Crush, and I promised her that I’d be back by three so she could head to campus to work on a project due in a few days.
I glance at his face as we round the corner toward my store. “Eloise is probably going to call you Hot Dad.”
Laughing, Berk squeezes my hand. “Does that bother you?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “Does it bother you?”
“Not at all.” He smiles. “As long as you agree with her assessment of me.”
I stop to look into his eyes. “You know that I do.”
His hand jumps up to cup my chin. “I do know that.”
“I’m sorry we have to spend our alone time at the store.” I start walking toward Vinyl Crush again. “We can talk in between customers.”
“All I wanted was time with you,” he admits. “I don’t care if it’s in my bed or your store. I cherish every second we have together, Astrid.”
I do too.
“I’m eager to hear about your call with Keyline.” He pauses before he goes on, “If you’re comfortable talking about it.”
“I am.”
“Let’s get inside.” He motions toward the door of the store. “I’ll brew us up some espresso.”
It’s just an offer to make me a beverage, but the familiarity in the words makes my heart stutter a beat.
Before Berk can touch the door handle, Eloise has swung it open for us.
“Welcome back,” she says excitedly. “I see you brought a visitor with you.”
“Hey, Eloise,” Berk greets her. “How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you, Berk?” she asks as her gaze stays trained on him.
He glances at me with a soft smile on his face. “I’ve never been better.”
An hour later, I finally have a chance to stand in front of Berk with no customers scurrying about.
A group of five people walked in as soon as Eloise left.
Each of them had an idea of what the greatest genre of music is. I had to dive into that debate. Berk sat on the sidelines sipping on espresso and laughing whenever someone declared they were right and everyone else was wrong.
Three of the group of five people bought records. The oldest man bought a dozen.
Before they left, I thanked them all.
One woman said she’d see me again soon.
She might. I can’t say for sure if she will.
“Your customers love this place.” Berk approaches where I’m standing. “They love you too.”
I want him to love me, but now I may never get that chance.
“Can I make you an espresso?” His brow perks. “Or do you want to finally take me out of my misery and tell me about Keyline and your future as a music superstar?”
Those were the exact words that Heidi used during our call.
She told me that my future is bright and if I follow the path they’ve set out for me, there’s an excellent chance that I’ll be the next big thing in music.
I reach for Berk’s hands. “They want me to sign a recording contract with them.”
“I knew it.” He leans forward to kiss me softly. “I fucking knew it, Astrid. I’m so goddamn excited for you.”
“You owe two hundred dollars to the fund,” I say quietly.
He laughs. “You’re a part of the family now. You know that, right? If you call me out on cursing, you’re a Morgan by default.”
He may be joking, but those words spear my heart.
My emotion is racing to the surface, but I bite it back with a half-assed smile.
“Tell me more,” he goes on. “When will you sign? They are going to produce a vinyl version, aren’t they? I’ll buy a thousand and hand them out to everyone I know. I’ll tell them my girlfriend is the masterful singer and songwriter, and they need to listen to every song.”
His girlfriend?
It’s the first time I’ve heard him say that.
I lock eyes with him and tell him everything.
“My lawyer will look over the contract tomorrow. If it’s good to go, I have to find someone to take over Vinyl Crush full-time.
I need to go to Los Angeles to record my songs and a few music videos.
Heidi said that now is the time to capitalize on my online popularity.
A big part of their marketing push will involve sending me out as a surprise opening act on other artists’ tours. ”
He stares at me with an expression I can’t read.
“I’ll have to leave New York for a while.” My voice trembles. “For a long while. I can come back to visit when I have time, but…”
“But that won’t be often,” he interrupts. “Your life will be focused on your music.”
I nod. “It’s all happening so fast. I need time to think about it.”
“Time to think about whether you should sign the contract?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whisper. “My life is here. I have the store, and I like playing to people on the subway platforms in the morning.”
His eyes search my face, but he doesn’t say anything.
I scrub a hand over my forehead. “And you’re here, and I know that what is happening between us is new, but it feels special. I don’t think I can leave New York right now.”
Something inside of him shifts.
I see it when his gaze leaves my face and falls to the floor. He takes a step back, and with it, the invisible string that I felt was connecting our two hearts pulls taut.
“Astrid,” he says my name in a low whisper. “You need to sign that contract. You need to go to L.A. to record your music.”
“It’s a huge step,” I say. “I’m not sure I’m ready to turn my life upside down.”
“Because of me?” he asks. “I need you to answer a question for me, Astrid. You have to be completely honest with me.”
I nod. “I will. I promise.”
“If this opportunity came along before we met, would you be hesitating?”
That answer is simple, but confessing it isn’t.
“I don’t know,” I lie.
“You know,” he insists. “You would have jumped at this chance. A record contract is your brass ring, isn’t it? You’ve wanted that forever.”
“Yes,” I admit quietly. “It’s something I’ve always thought about.”
“Then don’t walk away from it.” He cups my face in his hands. “The world deserves to see your talent. They need to hear it.”
Tears well in my eyes as I listen.
“You’re such an incredible woman.” His tone is low. “I’m so grateful that we had the time together that we did.”
Had.
That one word says it all.
“You need to follow your dream,” he tells me. “Go show the world all of your talent.”
I can’t find the words to argue with him because he’s giving up on us.
He’s giving up so fucking easily.
“You’re breaking up with me,” I say quietly. “Aren’t you?”
He swallows hard. “Our lives are in very different places right now, Astrid.”
“I take that as a yes.”
“I’m not in a position to travel the world with you right now.” He gazes into my eyes. “I’m a dad. I have a business to run. You need to put everything you have into pursuing your dream.”
I don’t need him to tell me what I need to do. I can balance both. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could travel back to New York whenever the opportunity presents itself.
If he were committed to us, he would come see me when Stevie has time off school and he could break away from his work.
Love means making it work.
He doesn’t want to try, so I clearly misjudged his feelings. He’s not in love with me. I’m the fool who fell head over heels for him.
He looks beyond me to the front of my store. “I’ll stop by tomorrow with the guitar you loaned Stevie.”
A tear falls onto my cheek. “No. I want her to keep it.”
Nodding, he reaches for my cheek, but I take a full step back. “You should go, Berk.”
He does just that without another word to me.
As soon as I hear the door close behind him, I fall to my knees and sob.