39. Conversations with Influencers
39
CONVERSATIONS WITH INFLUENCERS
O’CONNOR
I had to give Bella Southdown credit: the girl had guts.
We’d seen each other at movie premieres and launch parties. We knew each other well enough to smile politely and pretend professional respect. But I didn’t know if I would have had the stones to call her up if our positions were reversed and ask to interview me about my tell-all.
I made her meet me at the Getty. The grounds were pretty, the views were stupendous, and if the sun deserted us and the wind picked up, we could walk through the art galleries.
“This is so like you,” she said when we met. “Meeting in an art museum instead of some trendy spot.” She asked with her eyes if she could pin the lavaliere mic on me, and I nodded. I had the same rig myself.
I wasn’t sure if her comment was a compliment or an insult, so I didn’t reply to her opening. She was prettier than I remembered—and bustier. Either she’d gotten the girls an upgrade, or she’d found a great push-up bra .
“What can I do for you, Bella?”
“Duh.” She laughed. She was so young. I felt a lot older than my twenty-eight years. She checked the recording levels on her phone and gestured me to walk along the arcade. “I want to know about the tell-all. How clever of you to build up interest in Archer before releasing your book. Hats off to you.”
“Thank you.”
“You can’t be bought, but you’re not above boosting yourself, and I admire that.”
Was that what I’d done? I supposed she was right. “Do you have any questions for me, Bella?”
“Hell yes. You did your whole series on making Archer Armstrong into a decent date to investigate his past for your tell-all, right?”
“To be honest, I actually thought Archer needed dating help at the time. We really had a perfectly horrible date.”
“Don’t I know it! I must have read your blog posts ten times and listened to every podcast about him. Hysterical. You really are the very best.”
Her admiration seemed sincere. I stopped along the path to get a better look at her. “Seriously?” I asked.
“Seriously.” She stopped too. We annoyed a couple from the Midwest who was making their determined way to the Central Garden, and we stepped to the side. “You’re the reason I became an influencer. I’m a total fan.”
Was this a ploy to buy my confidence? It was working.
“Well, thank you. You sort of surprise me.”
“What, you and I are supposed to be archrivals? I hate that. Why do women have to be enemies, you know? I thought your segment on princess teas was the best thing I’d heard all year. I almost died of envy when you did it.”
I laughed, thinking of seven-year-old Frances Alcott Shipley and how much she would like to meet Bella Southdown. “I had a lot of fun doing it. ”
“That’s your secret, I think. You always have fun with what you’re doing.” Did I? It didn’t feel like it. “That’s what makes you so addictive. I can’t look away. And neither can your followers.”
This was the oddest conversation I’d ever had. “Do you want to talk about the book?”
“Oh, fuck it,” she said, tapping her phone to turn off her recording. She retrieved the mic and dropped the whole rig in her tote bag. “You’re not going to give me a scoop. Why would you? I really just wanted to meet you. Ask you about Archer, you know?”
She gestured to a sunny spot on a retaining wall, and we sat. I felt very much not in control of the discussion. “Archer?”
“Yeah. I mean, what’s with that guy? Sometimes he seems so sophisticated about this stuff, and sometimes he’s like a babe in the woods.”
That did sort of describe Archer, but I didn’t want to give her any fodder. “How do you mean?”
“Well, like, he really doesn’t understand our work, does he? I mean, that the good press you and I have given him ought to have earned us thousands of dollars. Right? Oh, maybe not you—you don’t sell your spots. But I do. Sometimes. And he has no idea.”
I raised my eyebrows at the understatement. “He hasn’t got a clue.”
“I know. And somehow, I’m still posting about him. Because he’s just mesmerizing. That rooftop concert in New York City? That was fucking amazing.”
I’d seen the press on the event, and not just hers. “It looked really cold.”
“Oh, it was. I was dying. But I wouldn’t have gone downstairs for a million bucks. It was incredible being up there. The whole place was, like, giddy with the thrill. It was like we were all really high together. Aftermath—they’re really good, you know?”
I knew.
“And when Charlotte came out in that coat? My god, it was like a surge of heat went through the place, and we all melted. She’s such a sweetheart, isn’t she? I’m so glad I got to meet her!”
“She’s a wonderful dog,” I agreed. “I couldn’t believe it when it started snowing.”
“Oh, I know, but that made it more magical. I don’t know how the guys were still playing. Their hands had to have been frozen.”
“I bet the management put heaters on the stage.”
“Oh, duh. I’m an idiot. You must be right.”
“What did the crowd think of Archer’s new song? ‘Freedom’?”
“The one about the truck?” Not about a truck, but if she didn’t realize it, I wasn’t going to tell her. “Shit, they freaked out. We all did. I hope that building was reinforced because we almost danced it to pieces!”
“That’s good.” I was happy to hear that Archer’s song was getting positive feedback. “I have an early recording of it,” I admitted. “I’m thinking of putting it on my website when the book launches.”
“Pay you fifty thousand right here if you give it to me instead,” she said promptly, and then she and I laughed together. I didn’t even need to say, “Not a chance.” We both knew I’d be keeping my own scoop.
“See, that’s something Archer would never understand,” she said. “And yet he’s so incredible about managing his image.”
As far as I could tell, Archer didn’t consciously manage anything. “His image?” I echoed.
“You know, that I’ll Fuck Anything persona he’s got going. ”
I raised an eyebrow, surprised she thought his fixation on groupies was just an image.
Bella, assuming I was mocking her, rushed on. “You know. Like, I really thought he was going to do me in the locker room. He totally had me going.”
He did?
“And I guess I would have gone for it. I mean, he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, you know?”
I called on all my years of interview experience to mask my desire to grab her arm and demand she explain. “He sure is,” I said woodenly.
She ignored my sudden spike in blood pressure. “I mean, after that kiss to prove, you know, no teeth? I would have bet you my annual income—I mean, I would have bet you your annual income—that we were heading for some hot monkey sex in the bathroom. But then . . . nothing!”
She was kidding. She had to have been kidding. “Nothing?”
“Well, not nothing. I mean . . . yeah, nothing. He leaned against the sink, looked at his watch, and waited twenty minutes before we went out.”
“And—and nothing?”
“Not a thing. I mean, he had a call with his dog trainer, and then he wanted to know about my conditioner. He’s really into products, isn’t he?”
“Goes with being vain,” I said automatically. Archer hadn’t fucked Bella Southdown?
“Oh god, you are so right, the guy is next-level vain! But somehow you just forgive him, you know?”
“Bella, you never slept with Archer?”
She scoffed. “Not for lack of trying. But he wasn’t having it. I think he was trying to send a message. I don’t know, but if he was, I hope she was listening.”
“Do you know of any groupies he did sleep with? ”
“Do I? No. He spent all his time with me when I was there. Me and the dog.”
Surely this was an anomaly. Weren’t there still women posting that they’d had sex with Archer before or after one of his shows? I’d have to do some research.
“Bella,” I said slowly, “I want to ask you for a favor. And I’ll do the same for you sometime.”
“Sure. I’d be glad to help.”
“Will you tell your followers that I’ll be doing a live podcast on”—I fished for my phone and checked Aftermath’s schedule—“December 10. Aftermath is at the Bellwether here in LA, and I’ll be live during and after that show.”
“Fucking awesome! I’ve got credentials for that one too. I’ll see you there. Listen, let me record you telling my followers that, and I’ll post it right now.”
She fished out her mic again. Looked like we had something to record after all.
And then I was heading for the internet to uncover some very basic truths.