CHAPTER 13
My mind was reeling. Spinning at a thousand frames per second.
Septimus stood, shaking his head at the questions I hurled his way.
What had Kilian done?
Who had he angered?
Why?
Did they really feel so fucking entitled to restore their full powers that it was worth thirteen mortal lives every decade?
Why had every single elven simply accepted this barbaric practice just for a curse to be broken?
“I’ve already said far too much, Lirahna. We should head back to the house.”
“You promised to answer three questions. You have not answered my third.”
Septimus’ eyes glowed. “You have asked plenty of questions this morning, and I have been extremely transparent with you. Consider our deal concluded. Now, you can follow me back down to Valhan House or you can remain here all day until a nanuuq comes to eat you. What do you choose?”
I considered my luck with the nanuuq, but ultimately, it wasn’t Septimus I was mad at. I wanted to look Kilian himself in the eyes and ask him exactly what the fuck he had done and to whom.
“Don’t even think about it.” Septimus rolled his eyes, starting down the slope. “He’s not here. He’s away on business in Greyhaven. He’ll be back the night before the second challenge.”
I seethed the entire way back, not even saying goodbye to Septimus as we parted on the third floor of Valhan House. I stormed into my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me.
Calendula jerked awake from her hammock with a start. “Gods above, you scared me.”
I gave her an apologetic look, pausing my frustration momentarily to say, “I didn’t know you were sleeping.”
“I’m always either sleeping or eating.” Calendula yawned. “What’s got you so wound up?”
“What do you think?” I flopped onto my bed.
Calendula grimaced. “I thought you two were getting along fine. What happened?”
I assumed she was referring to Kilian and me. “Why would you think we were getting along?”
The shadow sprite’s wings fluttered, a nervous tell. “I, uhm… I saw the two of you in the corridor last night. It didn’t look like you were… unhappy.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I threw a pillow over my face and screamed.
Calendula said something, but it was muffled by the pillow. I plucked it off and looked at her. “What did you say?”
Calendula huffed impatiently. “I said, don’t be upset with him because of Elena. He’s been over her for decades.”
“What?”
“Elena,” Calendula repeated. “That’s why you’re upset at him, right?”
At the look I gave her, she dropped her face into her hands and groaned, “He’s going to exile me to the other side of the Shadow Soil for sure now.”
“Calendula,” I said firmly, “who is Elena?”
She peeked out through tiny fingers, silver eyes flicking to the bracelet dangling from my wrist.
And everything clicked into place.
The words spoken by the elven female this morning. The recognition in Kilian’s eyes as he held the charm on my wrist. No. Not recognition. Sadness.
“He gave this to her, didn’t he?” I whispered. Elena. The mortal girl with fire in her eyes and a restless soul.
I unclipped the bracelet and laid it on the table, unable to bear the sight of it. Unable to process how I felt about it.
Calendula’s wings fluttered gently. She laid a small hand atop the bracelet, fondly. “She was one of my favorites.”
“What does it mean?” I asked dully, my gaze trained on the engraved wording on the back of the pendant.
Calendula did not need to look at it. She murmured, “‘May the fire within protect you throughout.’”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything.
Every look, every touch ever shared between Kilian and I turned to ash and sawdust. Our conversation last night…
Was I just the latest mortal in a century-long string?
A means to pass the time in an otherwise dreadfully boring immortal existence?
I had known from the start that Kilian could not be interested in me beyond the short term.
But I had to give him credit. He had played the part of dedicated instructor well.
He had stared at me like he saw me. Had spoken to me like an equal.
And touched me like he wanted me. He had manipulated me into wanting him.
It was such a clever scheme, all to ensure that I did not run or refuse to participate in the Trials.
So that his candidate tried her very best to pass the challenges, to make it to the Rite, and break his curse.
And then, when he regained his full power, he would have no further use for me. He would leave me discarded and wanting and ruined forever.
But not if I discarded him first.
I schooled my expression into one of abject neutrality. “Calendula. I’m feeling a bit strained from my training with Septimus this morning. Would you mind giving me a few moments of mortal privacy?”
“Of course,” the shadow sprite said, “I’ll come back again in a few hours, if that’s fine?”
“Perfect.” I feigned a yawn, stretching my back muscles out.
The sprite blended into shadow, disappearing completely. I didn’t know how she did that. It was like she became darkness itself, vanishing wholly.
As soon as she was gone, I stood. I rifled through my drawers, grabbing a new set of clothing before heading to the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later, my hair had been washed, and I no longer smelled like I had run five miles then trekked up a mountain.
I changed into a violet, corset-shaped leather cuirass and pants, foregoing my usual tunic, leaving only a fleece-lined long-sleeve beneath so I didn’t freeze to death when I stepped outside.
Lacing up my boots, I decided to leave my dark hair unbound.
The steam from the shower had curled the ends so that they just barely skimmed my waist.
I didn’t know where I was going. But I knew I was not going to sit around Valhan House, stewing on the fact that Kilian had played me like a fiddle. Even worse, that I had let him. He was elven. I had no one to blame but myself, for letting my emotions and hormones override logic and common sense.
I grabbed my cloak and pulled open the door, stepping into the hallway at the exact moment Lana stepped out of her room. I hadn’t seen her since our argument yesterday in the sparring room.
She scanned me from head to foot. “You look hot. Where are you going?”
“Out. Do you want to come?”
Lana’s eyes widened slightly. “Out where?”
“I don’t know.” I lifted my arms slightly. “Lomask is our oyster.”
She smiled. “Okay. Give me a second to change.”
Five minutes later, I was seated at the foot of Lana’s bed, watching as she swiped rouge over her cheeks.
“Where did you even get that?” I tilted my head toward the pink palette in her hand.
“I packed it before I left home. It was my mom’s.”
“Three elven arrived to kidnap you for the Mortal Trials and you brought makeup with you?”
Lana rolled her eyes. “It’s not just makeup, you insensitive ass. It’s sentimental. It reminds me of home. Now, close your eyes and let me put some on you.”
“Oh, no. It’s fine, Lana–” I started to protest, but she wouldn’t hear any of it.
“If we’re going out, you need blush,” was all she said as she patted the creamy formula on the apples of my cheeks and then rubbed some on her ring finger before applying it carefully to my lips. “All done,” she pronounced, stepping back to survey her handiwork.
I glanced at her work in the mirror above the small sink and, surprisingly, did not hate it.
“I think I know where we can go,” she said, stripping her own tunic off and rifling in her dresser. She pulled out a pastel blue piece that perfectly matched the shade of her eyes. A mischievous look glinted in them, and I couldn’t help but smile at her.
“Where?”
An hour later, we were seated in a raucous tavern.
There were no windows in the space, only dim lighting and tables coated in glistening, sticky fluid.
Elven sat on nearly every wooden bench, playing card games or drinking, or playing card games while drinking.
Beautiful elven females perched on the laps of males, and all of them were either too drunk or engrossed in their games to pay attention to the two mortals who had just entered.
“How did you find this place?” I hissed at Lana as she sashayed up to the elven behind the bar. He was a stunning male, with sapphire eyes and shaggy brown hair that curled delicately around the pierced, pointed tips of his ears.
“Septimus showed it to me on one of our walks through the city,” she replied.
One of their walks? How many walks had there been? I cursed myself for not being a better friend and just asking her.
“And,” she added, “he told me I was never to come in here by myself.” She gave me a roguish wink before turning a dazzling smile on the bartender.
“We’re mortals, if it wasn’t already obvious.
We might die at any second during the Trials, so could you spare us a drink?
One that, obviously, isn’t poisonous. I’d hate to cut my time in Lomask short over a cocktail.
You can put them on Septimus Mori’s tab. ”
The bartender surveyed Lana appreciatively. “For a pretty thing like you, I’ve got as many drinks as you want. Take a seat over there.” He pointed to an empty booth I hadn’t noticed before, in the corner of the tavern. “I’ll bring them over soon.”
It was hot inside, and I slung my cloak over the side of the booth before sliding in, careful not to touch the greasy table. Loud music pumped throughout the room, and it was hard to think over the noise. Which was fine. I didn’t want to think about anything.
“What prompted this?” Lana shouted across the table.
I wanted to tell her everything. I really did. But this was not the place to do it. “I just needed to get out of the house. It was suffocating me.”
“I know what you mean.” Lana leaned forward as our drinks came. They were bright blue, and the shimmery powder swirling within made them glow in the dim light. The side of the glass read Third’s Whiskers.
I didn’t bother asking the bartender what was in the drinks before lifting one up to Lana and clinking the side of my glass against hers.