Chapter 9 #2
I wipe sweat off my brow and lean against the railing of the front porch, the wood hot against the backs of my thighs. I’ve been working all morning with Earl, hauling salt blocks and checking tanks. Hudson was supposed to help, but he never showed.
He’s been off for the past couple of weeks—distracted and distant—but I keep telling myself it’s just the newness of being here, even though it’s been two months. He’s just not used to the ranch rhythm.
He’ll settle.
He loves me.
The door from the dining room that leads into the porch opens. I smile when I see Hudson. The smile freezes when I see the thundercloud on Papa’s face, who’s right behind him. Celine follows, her head hanging, one hand resting lightly on her stomach.
I know it even though they haven’t told me.
It’s been staring me in the face.
“Aria,” Hudson says, and then looks at Celine. He holds out his hand. She takes it with a tentative smile.
Everything inside me stills.
I stay where I am on the edge of the porch, my weight now being supported entirely by the railings because my legs are shaking.
“What’s going on?” I whisper.
Hudson looks at me somberly and then turns to Celine. She smiles at him.
I hold onto the railing.
The past comes flying through.
The time the boy I had a crush on came out of Celine’s room.
My prom date, who dumped me to take Celine to prom even though she’s two years our junior.
Celine lifts her chin, all sweetness and poison. “Hudson and I are together.”
My ears start ringing.
Hudson steps toward me like I’m fragile and he’s the good guy. “It just happened, Aria. We didn’t plan it.”
I stare at him, the sun pounding down on the crown of my head, making everything feel too bright.
Too loud.
“We didn’t mean to fall in love,” he says. “But we did. And we’re getting married as soon as possible.” He turns to Papa. “We’re pregnant.”
Time stops.
Papa’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything.
I look between them—Hudson, who was in my bed just last night, and Celine, whose face is glowing with victory.
“You can keep the ring,” Hudson continues, “I’ll buy Celine a new one.”
I look at Papa, waiting for him to say something.
He doesn’t look at me when he declares, “I’ll pay for the wedding.”
My heart cracks. My fiancé just admitted he cheated on me with my sister. My father wants to reward them.
Celine rests her hand on her belly like it’s a damn trophy.
“Papa—” I start.
“She’s pregnant with my grandchild,” Papa cuts me off. “This is good news.”
He puts an arm around Celine and kisses her forehead. “We should give Hudson and Aria a minute.” He looks at Hudson. “Congratulations, son.” Then, he takes Celine inside the house, as if to protect her from me.
I’m shaking now. I don’t know what’s up or down.
Papa just called Hudson son. He didn’t do that when I introduced him as my fiancé.
Why was he not acceptable for me, but is for her?
“How could you?” I want to scream, but it comes out hoarse, low.
Hudson sighs as if I’m being difficult. “Look…it happened. I love her.”
I want to say, “You also said you love me,” but the words don’t come out.
“She’s soft and….”He runs a hand through his hair. “Just seeing you here, Aria…I feel as if you’re a day laborer…not a wife.”
I look at him. Tears that I never shed because Papa says it’s a sign of weakness, flowing down my cheeks.
“Come on, Aria. You’re just…you’re you, and I feel like Celine and I are better suited.”
“Why?” I want to know, even though the words will slay me.
Hudson groans like I asked him to do something he doesn’t want to. “Aria, come on.”
“Tell me,” I persist as self-loathing swarms inside of me.
“Fine.” He flings his hands in the air. “She’s all the things you’re not. She’s beautiful. Soft. Feminine. She knows how to dress like a woman. She’s good in bed…is that what you want to hear?”
Some words that you hear you forget, but some stay inside you forever.
I knew these would.
“Just don’t make a scene. Let’s try and be friends, alright? We’re going to be family.”
I nod and slowly walk away.
I go through the barn, out the back, into the open field to drown out his words—the ones I insisted he tell me.
I don’t know how far I go, or how long I sit in the dirt, sun baking into my skin.
No one follows me.
The next day, I refuse to talk to my sister and the next and the next.
After a week, Papa’s had enough. “You couldn’t keep the man, take it on the chin like a big girl and move on.”
“Papa, he cheated on me.”
“Stop whining and get on with it.”
“Get on with what? Being friendly with them?” I can’t believe the words coming out of my own father’s mouth.
“She’s pregnant. She’s gonna have a baby,” he bellows.
“Papa, you can’t expect me to be—"
“If you can’t be civil to your sister and her future husband, then you need to get the fuck outta here,” he yells.
“And what the hell does being civil mean?” I demand.
“You’ll talk to them. Help plan the wedding. Be a good sister.”
“Fuck that,” I cry out.
“Then you can pack up and leave.”
Celine drinks green tea that Vera serves, along with an egg-white omelet. She cuts into the fluffy omelet. “How long are you plannin’ on stayin’?”
“I don’t know.”
She looks at me, an eyebrow arched. “Don’t you have a job to run off to?”
“I took a leave of absence.”
She frowns. “And they don’t mind?”
“No.” They’re my friends. They take care of me like my family never has.
“You can’t stay here. This is our house.”
I pull off my sunglasses because the hell with the throbbing pain, I need to straighten this woman out. “No, it’s not. It’s half my house unless Papa changed his will, which I have under good authority he didn’t.”
I have no idea if he did or didn’t, but from how Nadine, Amos, and even Mac are behaving, I am hopeful that Papa split the estate equally between Celine and me.
“But you can’t live here.” She’s incredulous that I’d dare to be here. “Papa didn’t want you to.”
“As you know, Papa isn’t here anymore.” I drain my coffee cup. “I’ll see you when Mac gets here.”
“Aria—”
I raise a hand to silence her. “That’s all the conversation with you that I can stand. But don’t you ever think you can kick me out of what is as much mine as it is yours.”
I climb up the stairs, holding back whimpers.
I take some more pills, set the alarm for an hour before Mac is to arrive for the will reading, and fall asleep.