Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
CALLIE
R eluctantly, I climb onto the hospital bed next to Mateo. The hulking Army Ranger wraps his arms and legs around me possessively, letting out a contented sigh. I don’t know how I feel about any of this.
But I do know from my parents’ marriage that when it comes to a relationship, sometimes you have to give the other party the benefit of the doubt. Even when it seems like the foolhardy thing to do.
“First off,” he says softly. “I had no clue you were a virgin. I’m so sorry, Calliope. I never meant to hurt you. When you told me, it devastated me. I would have done things so differently if I had known?—”
“But the emails?—”
“Shivers, you have to listen to what I’ve been telling you ever since you showed up at my cabin today. I’m not Mack. My name is Mateo.”
His confession on the porch rushes back over me. Could he have meant it literally instead of figuratively? If so, then who in the hell is Mack?
I shake my head. I should have listened to what the man was telling me. But no, I was caught up in my fantasy. Like Felicity has warned me numerous times. Too stubborn to see the truth in front of my face.
Still, there’s so much this man needs to explain to me.
“Yes, I know your real name. You told me so in an email. Don’t you remember?
And you live in the right cabin. You look like the photos of the man whose profile I matched with on Mountain Mates, and your life story fits what I know about Mack. Even the nurse called you Mack.”
He inhales slowly, like he’s prepping to dive into deep water.
“Two weeks ago, my AA sponsor, a guy by the name of Maxwell ‘Mack’ Leveque owned the cabin that I now live in. But then he up and split in the middle of the night with this Burning Man gal named Trixie, offering me a deal I couldn’t pass up to take ownership of the cabin. ”
I may lie in Mateo’s arms, but I remain stiff, emotions roiling inside. As he speaks, discussing another Mack, my head spins. Where in the world is this headed?
“Mack said if I cleaned up the old place, organized his shit and put the stuff he still wants in a storage unit, kept up his homesteading efforts, and transcribed his many volumes of journals for publication, the house was mine ...”
His voice trails off, but I know there’s more. I wait, lips pressed tightly together.
“He also asked me to gently let down the dozen women he had been corresponding with through Mountain Mates.”
I shift in his arms, looking over my shoulder at his face.
How can Mateo still take my breath away when I’m confused as hell, angry, and embittered?
His turquoise eyes meet mine, and he adds, “Mack also confessed that he used my photos to set up his match profile. Now, from you, I know he stole my name and identity, too.”
“But why?” I gasp.
He shrugs. “I don’t know, Calliope. Though I’m sure he got some kind of ego boost out of the whole thing, and he prides himself on being an excellent love letter writer.
He told me he used my photo because his wouldn’t have attracted women.
It’s not like he ever consulted me or asked for my permission, mind you.
I was furious when I found out, but the man had already split town, leaving me to clean up his dumpster fires. ”
“How do I know you’re not making all of this up?”
Mateo raises his head, his eyes narrowing. “Would anybody make up something so improbable?”
He has a point. “Truth is stranger than fiction.”
“Yep.”
“So, what happened after that? The women started showing up one by one, and you took them to the lake for skinny dipping and sex?” I try to keep my voice hard, but I’m already melting, wrapped in the warmth and security of the stranger I gave my virginity to.
“Hell, no,” he grumbles. “I’ve been ostracized, thanks to the local women he matched with?—”
“Like the nurse,” I butt in.
“Exactly. Shit, I’m not sure I’ll be welcome in town much longer.
I keep waiting to find slashed tires, flaming dog shit on my porch, all of it.
I was never in a relationship with any of those women.
I’ve been single for a good year and a half.
Ever since getting sober and moving to Rough and Ready Country.
But now I’ve got to walk around with the baggage of having eleven exes without any of the perks. Please don’t make it twelve.”
“I’m going to need proof. This is way too outlandish to believe.”
“Done. Mack swore he’d check in with me regularly. The next time he calls, I’ll have you listen in. Once he’s unknowingly confessed everything over the phone, you’re free to confront him yourself.”
“So, the letters?” I ask, my heart shattering.
“Not me.”
“The emails?”
“Not me.”
“Then, what part of this is you?”
“The love part,” he says so quietly I second-guess my ears.
“What did you say?”
“The love part,” he repeats louder, leaning forward to kiss my cheek and nuzzle against my neck.
“But—”
“I learned all about you from your correspondence with Mack. He kept a detailed notebook of everything. And I looked you up on Mountain Mates, falling for you in the process. But nothing prepared me for the first time I saw you standing on my porch, the golden light of late afternoon making you radiant. Never in my entire existence have I seen anyone so breathtaking.”
I say quietly, “That was beautiful. Are you sure you didn’t help with any of those letters?”
Mateo shakes his head firmly. “I didn’t know about any of it or you until after Mack left, and I started cleaning up after him and looking through the notebook. I still have it, if you want more proof?”
“I do,” I say firmly, my stomach knotting. “So, you broke up with all eleven women. But what happened with me?” I stroke his forearm gently, careful not to disturb his bandaged hand.
“I couldn’t do it,” he says gruffly. “From the moment I saw your photos, I was smitten. All I could think about was how not to hurt you. An impossibility under the circumstances. And once I saw your profile on Mountain Mates? It literally killed me because you were perfect for me, Calliope. You are perfect for me, if Mack hadn’t complicated everything.
All of this makes what happened at the lake so much fucking worse.
Because I’d rather cut off my own arm than hurt you. ”
“Or shatter your hand on a boulder.” I frown.
He nods roughly, breathing against my neck.
“You’re not like that all the time, are you? Because I don’t want to be around a violent man or one who has trouble controlling his temper.”
“When I used to drink, I was a bit of a hellraiser. But I’m committed to sobriety, Calliope. Have been for the last eighteen months, and I plan on keeping it that way no matter what.”
“Tell me about what you were like on alcohol. Did you ever get in fights? Or hit anybody?”
“Fights, yes, but not because I was drunk. I’m a Ranger who still works undercover. So, fights come with the territory.”
I shiver in his arms.
“What’s wrong?” Mateo asks.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“It’s a part of who I am and what I do, Calliope. There’s no way around it. But I’m a skilled warrior, part of an amazing team of guys who never let each other down. So, you have nothing to worry about.”
I squeeze his good hand.
“And just so you know, I’ve never laid a hand on a woman. I would kill any man who did.”
I shiver again, and he pulls me close, showering my cheek in kisses. “Am I scaring you?”
“No, I don’t like thinking about you in danger.”
“You care about me, then,” he says darkly.
“Of course.”
“Despite everything?”
“Despite everything.” My voice trails off, mind swirling, the night and its many happenings still surreal to me. After a long pause, I ask, “Why do you think you started drinking in the first place?”
The fingers of his good hand thread through mine.
“Because it’s what I grew up around. All I knew.
And it helped me cope with the trauma of my childhood, washing away bad memories.
It also made me forget how lonely I was or how much I wanted a beautiful woman and a family. It’s still all I really want.”
“How about a mail-order bride?” I ask, snuggling back into him and delighting in the feel of his warm, hard chest and beating heart against my back.
“Mail-order bride? No way, Calliope. You’re way too good for that. You want to know how I see you?”
“How?” I whisper.
“As a damn queen, a goddess, who deserves a man who will worship her daily. Never take her for granted and always make her feel as special as she is.”
“Do you know of any men like that?” I ask, feeling his stiff rod pressed against my ass.
“Not on Mountain Mates,” he whispers, nibbling my earlobe and licking and kissing my neck playfully. “But I do know one cowboy who would do anything to make you his forever.”
I giggle, heart racing and body shivering as he continues to tease my shoulders and décolletage with his mouth. “But with everything you’ve just told me, you’re a virtual stranger, Mateo.”
“No, I’m not,” he grumbles, good hand coming up to tease my nipples through the fabric of my dress. I pull the thin hospital blanket up a little higher, in case a nurse or doctor walks in. “I just didn’t know I was in a relationship with you until now.”
“But—”
“But I’m still the Army Ranger who served with the 75th Batt.
I’m still the man who adores the hell out of you, even if I’ll never be half as eloquent.
And unlike the charlatan you thought you were talking to, everything I feel for you is one hundred percent real, wholehearted, and founded in monogamy of the most loyal nature. ”
“Oddly,” I observe. “You do talk a bit like the letters.”
Mateo chuckles, wrapping his leg more tightly around my thigh and grinding his cock against my hip.
“Could be. I’ve been transcribing his journals for one to two hours a night.
I’m bound to pick up his cadence over time.
But even if I fumble my words and make a clumsy ass of myself, what I feel for you is real, genuine, durable. ”
“I don’t know exactly what I feel for you,” I confess.
He sighs.
“What?”
“I knew your honesty was going to skewer my heart.”
I raise my hand, palming his bearded cheek. “It’s not like that. I have a lot to think about, sort out. That’s all.”
“Promise you won’t think or sort yourself too far from me, Shivers. Because once I’m out of this hospital, I want to do things right with you.”
“Mmm,” I moan, savoring the thrill of his fingers and mouth dancing over every bit of flesh he can discreetly touch in a bustling hospital.
Against the shell of my ear, he whispers, “I’m going to light candles and get a fire going in the bedroom hearth.
I’ll cover my bed in rose petals, and crack a bottle of champagne.
” His hot breath warms my cheek. “Then, I’ll spread you out, take my time with you.
Move so slowly you’ll beg me to take you and be rougher.
But I won’t. Not until I properly adore you and your body like the goddess that you are.
Show you how I plan on treating you for as long as you’ll have me. ”
Flirtatiously, I say, “You know I’m not letting you off the hook that easily when it comes to the matter of my virginity and how you took it.”
“What do you need from me?” he asks solemnly.
“I need you on your knees, begging for my forgiveness.”
“Groveling?”
“Yes.”
“Whatever you need, Shivers. I’ll grovel for you. But I won’t be the one on my knees. You will, seated on my face.”
I shiver with delight at his words, anticipation building in my core, despite the soreness still lingering there. But the man has to remember he’s about to go into surgery. His recovery could take some time. Turning my head and capturing his mouth, I pant, “Once you’re better, Mateo. Only then.”
“I would do it now, hand throbbing and all, if we weren’t in a damn hospital,” he laments, frustration gripping his voice.
“Rose petals and champagne sound more like a honeymoon.”
“Well, aren’t you my mail-order bride?”
I shrug. “I can’t believe I agreed to that, fell for Mack’s letters and emails. What does that say about me and the kind of woman that I am?”
“It doesn’t say anything about you. But it says a lot about what a tool Mack is. It’s good he left town when he did. Otherwise, I’d beat the shit out of him.”
“You sound so violent sometimes,” I observe.
“The thought of any man hurting you, even myself, makes me violent.”
“Mail-order bride,” I say, shaking my head. “You know Mountain Mates offered us a ten-thousand-dollar wedding budget to be the promo couple for their new beta program? They loved our big city and small town angle.”
“Whatever you want, Calliope. All I know is I want you.”
“So, no more choking on your sweet tea when I mention marriage?”
He chuckles. “I’ll admit you threw me for a loop the first time you said it. But I’m warming up to the idea.”
“Are you?”
“Indeed. But even more than making you mine, you know what I’m obsessed with?”
I shake my head.
“Spoiling the hell out of you until you figure out that I can give you so much more than a few shoddy love letters and emails ever could.”
“Like what?” My voice trembles.
“Like my total devotion—heart and soul.”