Chapter 6 Lydia
SIX
LYDIA
Itouch my lips, staring at myself in the mirror. Holy shit, what have I done?
You kissed your boss, the old Lydia says. You kissed him and you liked it.
I shove my fingers through my hair and turn away from my judgy reflection, heart pounding. But the truth is right there, running through my head on repeat. I kissed him, and I liked it.
He made me feel like there could be more than standing in the shadows of my brothers and their epic love stories. The kiss made me think I could have that, too. That maybe the Grinch-like Cade Abernathy is just a facade, and the man I kissed tonight is capable of being more for me.
But he’s a billionaire headed back to New York, I remind myself, leaving the ensuite bathroom and collapsing onto my bed.
He’s not just a billionaire, but he’s the billionaire of this town.
The one who everyone fears, who people whisper about like he’s Big Foot and it’s a damn curse if you spot him.
And yet, I think about the giant burn scars on his shoulder and back.
I think about all the people who spat his name because of the fire.
Those scars tell an entirely different story.
Like he’d done more than just stand there the night the lodge burned down, like he’d thrown himself into the flames to save something he built entirely on his own.
Cade might act like he doesn’t care, but those scars tell me differently. The fear and the occasional vulnerability tell an entirely different story to the one I know.
The lights in my room flicker ominously, drawing me out of my thoughts. Immediately, I leap off the bed and rush out of the room to find Cade shoving his arms into a large flannel coat.
“Is everything okay?” I ask. My eyes dart to the dark windows and the wind howling beyond. “The storm’s gotten worse.”
Cade gives me a grim smile. “I only just got this new generator,” he tells me as he picks up a flashlight. “It shouldn’t be struggling as much as it is.”
As if to confirm his words, the lights flicker and the wind picks up, blowing through the mountain with a terrible force. “Do you need help?”
He shakes his head. “Get warm.” His eyes roam my body like they had when I found him in the living room, darkening a fraction before they meet mine. “You might be more comfortable out here with the fire tonight.”
A chill rolls down my spine as I watch him descend into the basement garage. I can’t tell if he’s as affected by the kiss as I am, or if he’s just better at hiding it. Probably the latter. But as I wrap my arms around myself, watching as he disappears, I wish he weren’t so…in control.
Maybe it’s a little desperate of me, but I want to know how he feels. If he feels anything at all. If there’s one thing I’m starting to realise, he’s good at hiding his emotions—at least, where they concern me.
I almost jump when he re-enters the cabin. The mountain man stares at me for a moment, the shoulders of his coat wet from melting snow. There’s ice clinging to his once neatly trimmed beard, and without thinking, I run my fingers over the stiff hairs, brushing it away.
Cade captures my wrist in one of his large hands. I’m not a small woman. I take after my mother in that way; we’re both plump as she likes to call it, but I know it really means we have more curves than a river. Other than the few men in my life, very few have managed to make me feel…small.
But with the way he manages to curl his fingers completely around my wrist and forces me to look up at him, I feel tiny. And it’s not just the air about him, either.
Even if we could explore something, even if he could be my prince charming, there would always be a very huge barrier between us.
He’s a literal billionaire with a large Fortune 500 company waiting for him. And I’m just Lydia Sterling, a cowgirl with a degree in media relations who is better suited to be his assistant and nothing else.
Once he realises that, too, I can’t imagine there’ll ever be anymore stolen kisses or skin-tingling touches.
Cade leans towards me, the striking blue of his eyes taking my breath away. I almost think he’s going to kiss me again, and I can’t tell if I want him to, or if he should resume being the asshole he introduced himself as when we met and push me away.
“The generator is working,” he says, voice low. Blue eyes flicker between my gaze and my lips. “But I noticed something must have gotten in and chewed the wiring, so I don’t know how long it’ll last.”
As if to prove that point, the lights flicker again. I feel his breath fan my cheeks as he huffs in frustration, but I’m overwhelmed by how hot his hand is, how well I fit against him. And it’s becoming too much.
“You should go put something warmer on, grab the duvet off your bed,” he adds, finally releasing me. “I’ll get the fire hotter. It’s going to be a long night.”
I’m caught between horror about having to spend the night with him, and excitement over getting to observe him further. All I can manage is a quick nod as I turn and flee towards my bedroom, heart racing erratically in my chest.
Good god, this is a bad idea. A very, very bad idea.
And yet, I pull on a pair of comfy pants thick enough to get me through a winter on the ranch, as well as bed socks, one of Calder’s old hoodies, and grab the blanket right off my bed.
I doubt I’ll be sleeping at all tonight. Not with him so close. And I bet I’m not the only one thinking the same.
A lump forms in my throat as I exit the room. Again, the lights flicker, making me rush towards the living room. The fire in the hearth is large and crackling, yellow light illuminating the cabin. It allows me a better look at the storm raging outside. Makes me more afraid of it, too.
“How well do those windows hold up out here?” I ask, setting the heavy blanket down onto the sofa.
“Everything is reinforced,” he replies without looking at me. “Don’t worry. We’re completely safe here.”
I know I should trust him. It’s probably not his first storm up here, and it definitely isn’t mine. So, I don’t understand why I’m so…anxious.
I wrap my arms around myself to stop myself from trembling. “That’s…great.”
Maybe he senses that I’m not completely alright, because his eyes find mine, hard and protective.
Silently, he pulls his cell from his pocket, taps the screen, and to my surprise, the sound of a motor starts up.
I suck in a breath as metal comes down over the windows, one by one blocking our view of the storm.
“You’re safe,” he says, pocketing his cell and stalking towards me. “The storm won’t do any damage here.”
“You can’t know that,” I reply honestly. “We both know better.”
He stops in front of me, and I force myself to hold his hard stare. “I keep my word,” he murmurs, bowing his head. “You’re safe here, and the storm won’t hurt you.”
Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s the storm I’m worried about anymore. Not when those eyes seem to strip away every last shred of my self preservation. Not as he drinks me in like I’m the only thing left in this world.
This is so unlike the man I literally fell into the arms of. Who treated me like I was some kind of burden, something he didn’t want disturbing his whole world.
The way he looks at me now makes me think it might be the total opposite, and I don’t know how to feel about that.
When the lights completely go out, I can’t help but yelp. Cade’s arms wrap around me protectively as he chuckles. “There it goes,” he says.
The hold he has on me should make me want to fight back, push him away.
But I’m so close to melting into him that it physically hurts.
I shouldn’t want this. I shouldn’t even be tempted.
The thought of kissing him shouldn’t elicit such a strong reaction in me or have me wishing for more.
It shouldn’t have me considering what it might be like to have his mouth on other parts of my body, to know what it might feel like to be his entirely.
And yet…The thoughts consume me. They fill my head with crazy ideas.
Especially when his arms feel too right—too perfect.
And all I want is more.