Riley
Felix has been quiet. He’s not normally a loud man, but since we started making dinner, he’s been extra quiet. And now that the stew is in the pot, bubbling away on the stove, we have nothing to distract us, nothing to stop him from answering me.
“Everything okay?” I ask as I pile the dirty dishes by the sink. “You’re not regretting helping me, are you?”
“What? No!” Taking my hand, he weaves our fingers together. Mine look so tiny next to his. They don’t fit, and yet they do. “I was just thinking about Mom and how she’d hate that I’ve locked myself away.”
“Oh, Felix. I don’t think she’d hate it. She might not like it. But she’d want you to do whatever you need to to feel safe—happy.”
“That’s it though. I don’t think I am happy.
I’ve been content. I love it here and would never move even if I did drive.
” He swallows and pulls me a little closer.
“But since you arrived, before really, I’ve noticed how lacking my life is.
I want more than this cabin and my job that keeps me indoors. ”
“Don’t forget the fake wife. You’ll want more than that.”
“You are not fake. I meant the vows we spoke. I’ll mean them for the rest of my life.”
“But this is temporary.” It’s what we agreed to. In spite of my desire for more, I’m content with being Felix’s friend if that’s all he’ll give me.
“For you, yes.”
“What does that mean?”
Pulling me closer still, until we’re facing each other, our bodies bare inches apart, he finds my other hand with his and presses them all together against his chest. “When your profile popped up on Get Hitched, I was captivated. Intrigued in a way I never have been before. Not even as a hormonal teenager did I have the reaction I had to you.”
I don’t know what to say. He’s given me no indication that he’s attracted to me. No sign that what I feel for him isn’t one sided. “Felix.”
“Let me finish.” I nod. “Marrying you feels like the best thing to ever happen to me, and being pulled from Mom’s mangled car alive felt pretty good. But I’ve abandoned the life I got to keep. I’ve hidden here, in my little bubble, and ignored everything I ever dreamed of.”
“You needed to heal.”
“I did. But I never moved past that point. I’m better, have been for years, and yes there are scars on my face, all over my body, that people will stare at, recoil from, but I shouldn’t let that stop me from living. And I have.”
“Maybe you were waiting for the right person to come along to make you want to live again.” If my presence has him thinking about his life, about his happiness, can I hope I’m the one who’ll make him want to live fully again?
“I think you’re right.” Leaning down, he brings his face closer to mine, only a few inches separating our lips.
“Riley, I know you wanted to get married to access your inheritance, and we don’t really know each other, but I think we could have something good.
I don’t want to pressure you, I want you to have all the options you should have had your whole life.
What your parents would have given you. You deserve all that and more. ”
I’m not really sure where this is going. I have an idea, one that fills me with hope and excitement, but I could be wrong. I’m still learning to read Felix.
“Riley, I know we’re doing this all ass backward, but…” He swallows and licks his lips, the ones so close to mine that if I pushed to my toes we’d be kissing. “Will you go on a date with me?”
“A date?” He doesn’t want to kiss me? He wants to go on a date?
“Yes. Not now, although maybe we could…” He looks around the cabin. “Yes, yes, we could.” Turning back to me, he says, “Will you do me the honor of having dinner with me?”
“Of course.” What other answer is there? I might be disappointed he doesn’t want to kiss me. Or more. But I’ll never deny Felix anything. “I’d love to have dinner with you.” I don’t point out we’ve had dinner together the last five days.
“Great. Okay.” He stands straight and I mourn the loss of the kiss I imagined. “Go sit by the fire, no. Take the legal papers into the bedroom and give me a few minutes to get things sorted. Close the door, too. I’ll knock, like a date would.”
His face is so full of excitement, I can’t do anything except what he asked. “All right. Do I need to get changed?”
His gaze moves down my body and a warm flush follows. “No, what you have on is perfect.”
When our eyes meet again, desire is clear in his and it’s the first time I’ve seen it.
The first time he’s let me see his attraction.
I’ve been aroused before. In the last few days, I’ve become very aware of my sexuality.
I guess I never had the opportunity or the exposure, or maybe it’s just Felix who makes me feel this way.
Whatever the reason, I like these new sensations. I like the way my body comes to life around him. And I really like knowing it isn’t just me feeling this way.
“Riley.” He growls my name. It’s a tone I haven’t heard before and it sends shivers down my spine, pulls the air from my lungs.
“Y-yes?”
“Go.”
That growly voice sets every nerve in my body vibrating. My skin tingles and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand as though reaching out for him. But it’s the heat in my belly, between my legs that has me skittering off to the bedroom.
I want to strip my clothes off and climb him like a tree. I could. He’s a foot taller than me and the images my mind is conjuring are vivid and unlike anything I thought I was capable of imagining.
In the bedroom, I lean back against the door and stare at the bed. What would it be like to share it with Felix? He’s slept in his office every night since I arrived, but his bed is big enough that we could share it easily, even with how big he is.
The thought of lying under the covers, Felix only inches away, has my body heating and my thighs clenching. No doubt about it, my husband turns me on. Except I have no experience with sex. Or kissing.
What would he think if he knew our wedding kiss was my first?
Would he be repulsed by my inexperience?
I don’t think he would and when I think about him, his years locked away here and how young he was when the accident happened, I have to wonder if he’s as lacking in the sex department as I am.
Could it be possible we’re both virgins?
Surely not. Felix is a good-looking man. He would have been a handsome boy. One all the girls would have wanted.
Suddenly I’m not as nervous about moving our relationship from friends to more. If I want to stay married to him for the rest of my life, we’ll have to make that change. I just need to work out how to make it happen.
I turn, my eyes on the door behind me, but I’m imagining what Felix is doing out there. We’re having a date. One where he’s planning to knock on the door and escort me to.
I grin. It might not be as difficult as I think taking us from friends to more. I’m not in a rush. I can’t leave here even if I wanted to, so I have time. And if I run out of it, I’ll make excuses to stay.
He said he’ll never ask me to leave. And I hate to take advantage of that, but I will if I have to.
Because the more time passes, the more I know I’m meant to be here with him. Meant to spend my life with Felix. Meant to be his wife.