Chapter 4
FOUR
SOPHIA
His words make my heart race and belly do flips. There’s a sincerity in his eyes that makes me both nervous yet warm and fluttery, a feeling somehow only he can dredge up.
When he used to look at me like this during poker night at my brother’s apartment or when I stopped by the firehouse on my way home from work, I used to get the feeling he either: didn’t like me, or was interested but too aware that asking his friend’s little sister out might cause tension.
Noah has always been quiet. Not grumpy, but more reserved.
And for some reason, I was really drawn to it.
Even now, I find myself wanting to get closer to him. Strip him of the walls he’s so obviously put up to keep all of us away. How do I tell him I came so close to coming up here several times over the last three years to check on him? How do I explain the reaction his words seem to have on me?
I clear my throat and finally look away, taking in our still joined hands, the bowl of soup left forgotten. “Well,” I say lightly, “you know how to render a girl speechless.”
Noah watches me for another moment before releasing a breath. “That was a little too intense. I’m sorry.”
I swallow hard and push the rest of the soup aside.
With the tension now broken and the fluttery feeling in my belly gone, I suddenly feel the extent of my injuries again.
My chest aches from the seatbelt cutting into my skin, and there’s a pressure building around my eyes which makes it hard to breathe, let alone eat.
“Don’t be,” I reply, waving my injured hand with a wince. “Anyway, if you keep talking, I might forget about how sore I feel.”
Something darkens in Noah’s grey eyes as he sits up. “You’re the professional around here, but I might still have some stronger pain meds from…” He trails off without needing to finish the sentence. I know what from, even without having to look at him or the scars healed across his body.
“I can take a look at what you have, but I don’t think I have anything serious enough to warrant your leftovers,” I chuckle, watching him stand.
But he’s not smiling. Instead, he looks…
Well, I can’t really read the look passing across his stormy eyes.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take Tylenol if you have any. I doubt I have a concussion.”
“You don’t need to be in pain, Soph,” he says, voice low. “It’s not worth it, and I don’t think I can sit here and watch you hurt.”
There it is again. That warm, fluttery feeling. This time, it makes its way to my chest, making my heart skip a beat.
“Noah—” He storms off towards the bathroom before I finish what I want to say. Well then. I listen to him rustling around inside the medicine cabinet for a few moments until he returns with a handful of pill bottles.
The nurse in me feels uncomfortable doing this.
The patient part of me is getting a little desperate. Potential concussion be damned.
I hurt.
I press my lips together as he joins me at the small table again and sets the bottles down. “It’s not much,” he starts, pushing them towards me, “but there are a couple there for pain.”
Once again, the nurse in me is telling me not to do it.
To push them back and look for the Tylenol I know he has somewhere in the cabin.
I just have to keep a better eye on myself and my injuries, since I doubt Noah has been recertified in first aid.
Though, then again, it also wouldn’t surprise me if he was.
But with shaky, sore hands I read the labels of each bottle. There are five in total to cover the extent of the injuries he has. “How is your pain, by the way?” I ask slowly, glancing at his handsome, rugged face. “The burns?”
Noah stiffens for only a moment, his hand clenching into a fist on the table.
“It could be worse,” he replies without looking at me.
“Some days are better than others. The burns don’t hurt as much as they used to, but some mornings I wake up expecting them to be gone.
Then I move around, and they remind me painfully they aren’t. ”
Tears burn my eyes, a lump rising in my throat. “Have you ever thought about going to see that specialist?”
“What specialist?”
I push a bottle of pills I know won’t help aside, barely glancing at him. “The one I know your doctor gave you the card for.”
In my periphery, I watch him lean in, something shifting in his dark eyes. “And how would you know that, Angel? You checking in on me at the hospital?”
It’s my turn to stiffen, eyes going wide. My cheeks immediately warm. “Oh, uh, I—” Stuttering, I smack my hand—painfully—into my face.
To my shock and horror, Noah just laughs. It’s a nice laugh. The kind of laugh I used to want to hear all the time when I was at the firehouse. It’s warm and low and it makes my heart skip a beat.
“Don’t laugh,” I mutter, lowering my hand to stare at him. Even his smile takes my breath away. It’s the first real smile I’ve caught in years. Even before the fire, he reserved those for those closest to him.
Noah crosses his arms, biceps bulging. Even though he was burned so badly he couldn’t move for a year, he’s somehow in better shape than when he used to be at the station. It’s insane. Shouldn’t even be possible.
But he’s always found ways to defy the odds.
“You think I should talk to a specialist?” he asks, cocking his head.
The heat in my cheeks refuses to die down, even when I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
“I know,” he murmurs, capturing my hand on the table, suddenly making all the pain disappear with just that simple touch. “I was teasing you.”
“Oh.” I swallow hard, unable to respond. This is definitely not the man I used to sneak looks at when with my brother. Since when does Noah Grey tease?
It’s so unlike him and the vision of him I’ve built up over the years, that I have no idea how to respond.
“You find anything in there that might help with your pain?” he asks, voice low.
I take that as my opportunity to change the subject entirely.
Because how do I admit that I had, in fact, been keeping an eye on him?
Not in a violating kind of way that would end up with me losing my job.
Just in a way that I know his doctor personally because the man has hit on me and all the other nurses several times and I suggested to him he should definitely recommend this specialist in Denver to Noah.
I don’t know how well he would take my meddling.
Slowly, I shake my head. “A lot of these are probably way too strong for me. Even if I halved the dosage, we don’t know if there’s anything else wrong, and some of these could have adverse effects that could put me at risk. I’ll just stick to regular old pain killers.”
Noah sighs, sounding almost disappointed. “You sure?”
I nod once. “Positive. Better to be safe than sorry.”
He looks at me for a moment before rising. “Okay. I’ll put these away, get you something to take. Then you should get some rest.”
There’s something oddly comforting about this man taking care of me in a way no one else has.
Of course, I’ve never been in a car accident and needed this sort of help before.
The closest I’ve been to this was sick with strep throat and my best friend coming around in a full hazmat suit to make sure I was okay because she had a double shift delivering babies the next morning.
Not even my brother tried coming over because he couldn’t risk getting sick.
It’s not nearly the same thing, but it’s still nice being cared about by this man I haven’t seen in a long time.
“So,” I say, loud enough for him to hear me in the bathroom, “do you do anything else up here?”
Noah appears with a white bottle of Tylenol, but instead of handing it to me, he goes into the small kitchen. “I’ve been going out where I can,” he admits, getting me a bottle of water from the fridge. “I signed myself up for volunteer work with the rangers. Keeping an eye on things during summer.”
My heart swells with happiness, which I try to keep off my face as he turns to me with the water and pills. “That’s amazing,” I say quietly. “Wow.”
Noah clears his throat as he sets both things down gently on the table before taking away the soup. “Slow progress, and it isn’t much, but I figure since I have so much more time on my hands, I should use it for good.”
I blink hard as I watch him. He’s come a long way. I used to stay late at the hospital and just sit with him for hours, long after everyone else in the burn unit went home for the night and would wait for him to say something. Do anything.
Those first couple of months had been torture for him. The only times he spoke, he wondered whether staying alive was even worth it anymore.
Some men who go into fires do it because they know that’s where they need to be. That saving lives and putting their own on the line is exactly what they should be doing with themselves. And they know it could be the last thing they do.
Some guys retire, like the old captain who helped Noah get this cabin. Or they disappear because there’s nothing else for them.
My brother wouldn’t be able to move on. He’ll be fighting fires and saving lives until one of those things steals his own. And he’s okay with that, whenever that happens. It hurts, but that’s the type of man he is.
It’s the type of man Noah is, too.
Which is why this brings me so much relief, knowing he’s putting himself out there like this.
He might never get back in the truck or climb a ladder.
Hell, he probably won’t ever run into a burning building again.
But he’s finding something to do with himself that doesn’t just mean staying locked up in his cabin.
Noah returns to the table, eyeing me expectantly. The flush on my cheeks kicks in again as I duck my head, grab the painkillers, pop a couple into the palm of my hand, and clear my throat. “Any chance you might be able to open the water for me?” I ask softly.
The mountain of a man is gentle as he takes the bottle and opens it with a twist. I’ve witnessed my fair share of guys who would kick up a huge fuss over doing something so simple. But not Noah.
Never Noah.
He lowers himself into the chair and watches me as I toss the pills back and gulp down water. I make a face at the bitter way they go down, body trembling with a shudder. “I hate them.”
Once again, a soft chuckle falls from his lips. “I never would have guessed.”
Taking another sip of water to wash away the taste, I shake my head. “I guess there’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”
Grey eyes, like the calm before a storm, meet mine. “Good thing we have a couple of days to learn more.”
And that should not excite me as much as it does.