14. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
T he low hum of the car vibrating through Morgan’s seat was almost soothing. Almost.
Lex’s near-constant rambling kept breaking through this blessed calm.
Warm evening light poured over the asphalt painting everything in shades of his favorite reds—fire and crimson, streaking across trees and leaves. The road looked infinite, stretching in front of his eyes like some unraveling part of his life.
No.
He wasn’t the one unraveling. He was fine.
Lex’s sanity was the thing falling apart. Every time he opened his mouth just repeatedly proved Morgan’s point.
Who continued speaking when the only person you were talking to was yourself?
“I know you can hear me.”
Pushing the edge of his thumb into his temple, Morgan didn’t bother responding. He hadn’t yet, why start now?
This was supposed to be his time— his time —to reflect. To savor the last hits of dopamine coursing through his veins. To relax into that lovely aftermath that made him feel more… alive.
Lex, of course, was ruining that.
“Are you even going to look—ow, shit—look at me?” he asked, every breath rasping and uneven, as if inhaling was a challenge.
Good.
Another bottle of water hit the backseat and rolled under, plastic crinkling and crunching with every rock the car ran over. Just one more mess Morgan would have to pick up later.
Then Lex’s shaking hand landed on his thigh, poking. Persistent. Like some petulant child begging their parent for attention.
“You screwed yourself,” Lex murmured, tucking his limbs—thankfully—somewhere else. “Who would’ve known you thought about me so much?”
And there it was .
Morgan tightened his one hand around the wheel, tapping the brake as the car in front of him slowed. There was a second. A fleeting, glorious moment where he could close his eyes and try to shut out the constant noise.
The Lex at the cabin had been a sight for sore eyes. Broken in ways Morgan could still taste. Battered and bruised. Sobbing and pleading for anything Morgan would give. That version of Lex—unfiltered, stripped of everything else, every inch of his pain splayed out for Morgan to view—was the most exceptional version of him. Truly delightful.
But now?
This Lex, hydrated and running on some sleep, was unbearable. Insufferable. Scratching at Morgan’s patience like a wound he couldn’t get to close until his foot was itching to slam the gas pedal to the floor. Feel the car flip, hear the metal crunch, that lightheaded, weightless whirl before darkness consumed them both.
Would he? No.
Giving his life to take Lex’s? It wasn’t in him to do that. No matter how many times the images flashed inside his mind; the orgasm-inducing knot of limbs, thin film of blood coating those blue eyes…
Silent. Perfect.
If only Lex could be that way now.
“Coward,” Lex muttered, so quietly Morgan almost didn’t hear him at first. “You went through all that damn trouble and now you won’t even talk to me.”
Glancing over as the traffic light ahead turned red, Morgan let his gaze linger on the damage: Lex’s trembling fingers rubbing at the dried blood crusting his wrists. His shifting in the seat drawing out sharp hisses of pain as he tugged the shirt away from his chest. The soft, involuntary whimper when his leg hit the passenger door.
It helped take the edge off.
Perhaps he had gone through a lot of trouble. Perhaps it hadn’t been a thought-out plan, more instinct than necessity. An impulse he failed to control.
But to see Lex like this?
Morgan wouldn’t change a single thing.
Lex’s eyes locked onto Morgan, narrowing as he twisted around to face him. “I know the real you, Morgan. And you know why that scares you?”
If Lex wanted to take his slow blink as an answer, so be it.
“Because a part of you—some tiny-ass, buried, fraction of your black soul—is happy. No matter what you think, keeping this part of you a secret from the entire world is going to kill what's not already dead."
The light turned green, and Morgan hit the gas. For once, he didn’t mind driving. The road stretching in front of him gave him a distraction, something to mull over that wasn’t… that.
That felt too real.