19. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
O ne more night spent thinking about Lex, and Morgan was sure he was going to lose what little grasp on sanity he had left.
The morning couldn’t come soon enough.
He was awake even before the alarm sounded, moving through the motions on auto-pilot. Shower. Shave. Straighten his hair. Dress. The routine was mechanical, but it was something to keep his mind occupied.
Lex’s existing in the same space was beginning to be a problem. His self-control was slipping.
One too many times he had caught himself only a handful of steps from Lex’s room. One too many times he had caught himself staring at Lex’s mouth when someone else was speaking.
By the time Morgan reached the kitchen, he’d already flipped through half a dozen profiles on his usual app. Too boring. Too muscular. Too kinky. None of them were remotely interesting. He needed someone for two very specific reasons: sex and one of his “outings.”
Preferably both—ideally sex during the aforementioned outing. Either before or after. He was learning he wasn’t as particular as he once thought. A dead body was still a body, after all.
Turning the coffee on, he grabbed the bread on the top of the fridge, swiping left the entire time.
Then his thumb paused.
This one wasn’t terrible. Not exactly his type, but it was better than nothing. Half of the profile was lamenting about how much of a “loner” he was. How “misunderstood” and “estranged.”
Physical appearances aside, he’d do nicely.
Morgan had tapped out a quick message when Lex’s voice cut through from the other room.
“—I’ll ask, yeah.”
His laugh followed, loud and obnoxious, especially for five in the morning.
“No! That sounds amazing, actually. I’m excited too. ”
Into the kitchen, and Lex hadn’t even bothered to change out of his sleep pants—hadn’t even bothered to put on a shirt, either.
When he turned to open the fridge, Morgan’s eyes caught something new. Tattoos.
During all of their play dates, Morgan had never noticed them. The tiger stretched across the majority of Lex’s back, fully colored and bold. It looked alive, its teeth bared, surrounded by intricate blackthorns and spikes that pierced the stripes.
It was quite a piece of art.
Art that, unfortunately, was on flesh Morgan already had plans for.
Pretty, yet irritating.
Untouchable.
Like Lex himself.
Hanging up his phone, Lex slammed the carton of orange juice onto the counter by the toaster. “You remember the thing you told me you’d think about?”
A week after the gala, he still was acting as if he’d had some all-important victory.
“Not particularly, no,” Morgan muttered, moving the juice to the side to put his plate there. “Have you not slept?”
“I got two hours. Maybe. It was one of those nights—”
“If you’re not in shape for work today—”
“I am! I am. I’m hyper as shit. Do not worry about me.”
Lex pulled down a glass and three mugs from the cabinet, his eyes flicking from the carton to Morgan and back again. The nervous energy was practically dripping off him, and it set Morgan’s teeth on edge .
“You told me you’d think about a double date, remember?” Lex asked.
Nothing could have pissed him off more.
Closing the app, Morgan tucked his phone into the inner pocket of his jacket. “I did, yes.”
“Well,” Lex stretched out the last letter until it didn’t even sound like a word anymore, “unless you’re super busy tonight… can I cash in on that?”
The toast popped up, and Morgan took his time getting the butter from the fridge. Retrieving the case knife from the drawer. He licked his lips, rolling the idea of a double date over in his head.
It was truly terrible.
He understood exactly what would happen. How badly it would go. How much of himself he could expose.
“When?”
Lex’s face split into a grin and he leaned over, all excited, sparkling eyes and teeth. It was the last thing Morgan needed so early. “Really? Seriously? I thought you’d tell me to screw myself or something. I know—I know. You don’t get along with Wendy—”
“I’ll manage.”
“—but it’s tonight. After work. Wendy found this new restaurant she’s been dying to try.”
“I’ll have to ask Kate.”
“Already way ahead of you. I’ve been trying to get up the nerve to talk to you , and I ran it by her to make sure she was in.”
Morgan felt the side of his lip twitch up and he rubbed his hand over his face. “Are you planning on getting Wendy drunk too? Taking her home alone? Waiting until she’s asleep? ”
Lex’s mouth sagged open, and for a second, Morgan anticipated more of the usual response—blushing, stammering, a litany of angry curses. But it didn’t come.
Instead, Lex’s voice dropped, quieter, almost sad. “Why do you keep trying to bring me down, Morgan? Seriously. It isn't even part of this stupid game.”
Morgan looked back to the toast, letting the silence settle again.
He didn’t want to answer that aloud, didn’t even want to acknowledge the answer spiraling in his own head. It kept repeating until it seeped out of his brain and bled into the corners of his vision.
One word. One syllable.
Inside the elevator, the quiet stretched on.
Weeks ago, Lex would’ve been desperate for conversation, vying for Morgan’s attention during the long ride to the twelfth floor.
But when Morgan looked up from his phone, Lex was buried in his own device.
That huge smile had returned, fingers flying over the touch screen. He’d pause, catch his lower lip between thumb and forefinger, and then the muffled laugh would come.
By the time the elevator stopped for the fourth time, and it was only the two of them again, Morgan was losing his patience.
“I think you’re ready to take on a bigger project.”
Lex’s eyebrows raised, but he didn’t look away from his phone. “Hm?”
“Finley needs someone else for the Vix account. ”
“The—the what now?”
“Stop whatever you’re doing,” Morgan snapped, the ice in his tone jarring, even to him. He hadn’t meant for it to come out that way, but there it was.
The personal was starting to interfere with the professional.
Rolling his eyes so hard Morgan swore he heard them rattle around their sockets, Lex folded his arms over his chest.
“I’m multitasking,” he said, finally meeting Morgan’s gaze.
Morgan scoffed. He shook his head, waiting for the irritation simmering in his chest to subside—he didn’t need to end up with his fingers around Lex’s wrist or throat when they came to their stop.
“It’s a high-profile client. You can’t afford to be distracted. If you screw this up, little brother, even my pull here can’t save you.”
“Yeah. I got it. V-I-X. No problem. I’ve already looked at the breakdown.” Lex leaned against the wall, crossing one leg over the other. “Wendy’s working with Finn on a different project and it was open in her cubicle.”
“Then what’s the budg—”
“Three point six.”
Lex hadn’t blinked, hadn’t moved his face at all. There was something… off. Where was the Lex from the other day? The frazzled one, coming apart at the seams? Expressionless wasn’t something that happened with Lex. He was an open book, wearing every emotion on his sleeve, begging for someone to take advantage of him.
Now he might as well be carved out of stone.
Perhaps he was as irritated as Morgan was. Perhaps something had finally cracked in two .
None of it mattered because one more mention of Wendy, and Morgan didn’t want to guess what he’d do or say. He looked back to his phone instead.
The numbers on his screen were more important.
The numbers on his screen were what mattered.
Morgan kept repeating those two lines in his head, trying to drown out the monosyllabic word that was threatening to engulf every waking minute.
There were emails he had to respond to. Calls he had to make. Co-workers that required his time.
Except there was a problem.
Every time he glanced out the open door—against his better judgment—it was there again. Wendy. Or rather, Wendy’s low-cut, sleazy top, breasts spilling over like they were worth more than the thousands she’d paid for them. And Lex, leaning over her shoulder to point something out.
Of course, Morgan’s office would face her desk.
Even if Lex’s blue eyes were focused on the monitor to the side, both hands where Morgan could see, it didn’t help. Wendy would laugh her uninteresting, mock-seductive laugh, and Lex’s chuckle would roll right out to greet it—low, throaty, and far too familiar.
Infuriating.
If Morgan tilted his head, he could probably guess exactly what brand of bra she was wearing. The material left so little to the imagination that an invitation would’ve been less… garish .
How many times had he pulled Lex into his office under the pretense of work just to separate them? How many were too many? Where was that fine line between nipping the distraction in the bud, and becoming the distraction itself?
Numbers.
The numbers were more important.
Four o’clock came and went, barely more than a smudge of time slipping by unnoticed.
Morgan cracked his neck, leaning back in the chair. Few things in his world were as satisfying as the sight of an empty inbox and an organized presentation. The notations in the margin were clear enough that he wouldn’t have to waste time dictating to whoever was following along. Just mirror it onto the projector and go.
Simple. Clean.
Perfectly aligned.
However, the rest of his human needs desperately needed attending to. Coffee, for certain. And fresh air. Maybe eye drops. He couldn’t remember the last time he blinked, or looked away from the blue light of the screen for longer than ten seconds.
At least the single thought had quieted down. It was still pressing against the edges of his consciousness, but not consuming the gaping expanse of space it had a few hours ago.
For a moment—just one—there was control again.
Until the knock on the door sounded .
Morgan gritted his teeth, forcing himself to breathe—inhale through his nose, exhale through his mouth. Glancing up to see Lex already halfway in the office, a folder in his hands, Morgan let the tension ease.
He could deal with work.
As long as it stayed solely focused on work.
“Finn had a family emergency and he left before I could ask a few questions,” Lex said, handing over the folder when Morgan reached out.
“What were the questions?”
“They didn’t complete the intake questionnaire—”
“That’s not your problem.”
Perching on the edge of the desk— Morgan’s desk—Lex nodded. “Yeah. Well, I can’t exactly fire Kimberly for not chasing them down and demanding answers.”
“If this was her first offense, no, you’re right,” Morgan said, dragging his gaze to the papers and flipping through them. Half the forms were almost blank, Lex’s tilted, curling red question marks hovering over circled paragraphs. “Consider calling her in and letting her know you’re displeased. If you don’t, she’ll believe she’s forgiven when she’s not.”
“Old sayings are old sayings for a reason, Morgan. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”
Morgan arched an eyebrow, flicking his eyes back up. “Didn’t you say we balance each other out? Be the honey if you want. You play pushover better than I ever could. What were the questions? ”
“Forget it,” Lex muttered as he snatched the folder from Morgan’s grip. He stood, but before he could step away, Morgan’s hand reached out.
His fingers wrapped around Lex’s wrist, halting him mid-motion. He hadn’t even realized what he was doing. How gentle he was being.
He wasn’t trying to hurt Lex, he was just…
“Did you need something else?” Lex asked, his voice softer. The hesitation didn’t quite mask the fact that he wasn’t trying to pull away.
Morgan licked his lips to keep everything inside from spilling out. He knew it would coat the table, drown the desk, and suffocate them both in something unnameable. Irreversible. Not the rotting black he was used to, but an entirely new, unbearable hue.
“Make sure you talk to Kimberly,” was all he could manage in a mind that had stopped functioning altogether.
The entirety of his brain had turned to soup, sloshing and useless, inside of his head. Devoid of any semblance of control.
That one word. That one syllable.
It had come back, no longer creeping along the edges, but a vivid, searing red that burned its way to the forefront.
Refusing to be ignored.
Mine.