Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
LINCOLN
Group text with Atlas, Xander, Declan, and Lincoln
Lincoln:
Need someone to take my shift tomorrow.
Atlas:
No.
Declan:
On a Friday? Hard pass
Xander:
Try again.
Lincoln:
Rude.
What happened to loyalty?
To brotherly love?
To not being total dicks?
Xander:
What’s so important you need the night off?
Lincoln:
Glad you asked.
I’ve been called upon for a highly classified mission.
There’s a woman involved. And a lot of honey. And possibly a goat.
Can’t say more. National security. You understand.
Atlas:
You’re not even trying to make this shit believable.
Lincoln:
Fine. I’ll level with you.
Mabel roped me into helping her. I have to escort her and George to a couples pole dancing class. Don’t ask for details.
Declan:
I believe that more than the goat thing
Xander:
Same
Atlas:
I still smell bullshit.
Lincoln:
Ok, ok. I agreed to be the naked model for Penelope’s figure drawing class at the library. For the love of god, keep Mom occupied while I’m there.
Declan:
You better fucking be joking right now
Lincoln:
I don’t know what to tell you, man. Pen has good taste.
Declan:
I’ll kill you and enjoy it
And don’t fucking call her Pen
Lincoln:
Jesus, all right. I was kidding. Unclench your asshole, Dec.
Xander:
Still waiting for the real reason.
Lincoln:
Fine. I promised a friend I’d commit a crime with her. Can’t say what or where, but if anyone asks, I was with one of you the whole time.
Declan:
He’s being dodgy as hell. That means it’s serious.
Atlas:
You better not be blowing off work to get laid, Linc.
Lincoln:
I WISH it was for getting laid. I’m hard up. Like, literally. Hard as fuck all the time.
Xander:
More than any of us wanted to know.
Lincoln:
How about this? One of you does me a solid and I promise not to talk about my junk anymore.
Xander:
Ever?
Lincoln:
Be serious.
Declan:
You’re making it so easy to say no
Lincoln:
Come on. It’s one shift. You’ll barely notice I’m gone.
Declan:
We always notice when you’re gone. Mostly because no one hits on someone’s grandma.
Lincoln:
You can’t tell me Mabel doesn’t like the attention.
Atlas:
She’s married, shithead.
Lincoln:
Monogamy doesn’t cancel appreciation, grandpa.
Come on.
Just say yes.
I’ll owe you all.
First round of drinks on me.
Xander:
We own the bar, dipshit. We always drink for free.
But fine. One of us will cover.
Lincoln:
Knew I loved you fuckers for a reason.
Atlas:
If I find out you’re skipping work for a hookup, I’m putting you on solo Mom Situation duty for a month.
Declan:
And she’s been talking about redoing her bathroom. By herself.
Lincoln:
Already told you, my dick’s been starved for attention. All thanks to that stupid bet I made with Sutton. No dating apps = no action. My dick’s not going to suddenly be showered with love tomorrow. Unfortunately.