Chapter 11 #2
He looked up at me, a hint of concern creasing his forehead. “Do you have to work tonight?” he asked, his lower lip jutting out in a familiar pout.
That question lodged itself right in my heart, like a pebble in my shoe I couldn't shake off.
For a brief moment, I turned to the television, letting the noise fill the silence as I grappled with how to answer him. Because the truth was... yes.
Not only was it Kyrin’s birthday, but it was also the night I was supposed to start my new "mystery" job.
I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. Kyrin shifted over so I had room, his little shoulder bumping against mine like he always did.
“Unfortunately, yeah,” I sighed, feeling the energy in the room shift slightly.
His smile dimmed just a fraction, the light in his eyes flickering like the candle on his birthday cake.
“But,” I added quickly, trying to lift the mood, “I won’t be doing the Uber job tonight.”
That part was technically true. The two jobs had similarities; instead of transporting passengers, I’d be transporting, well, God-knows-what.
I definitely didn’t tell him that.
His eyebrows shot up, eager curiosity shining through the earlier disappointment. “You’re going to the store this late?”
“No… I actually picked up another job,” I answered, choosing my words carefully.
His eyes widened in wonder, like I'd just told him Santa moved in next door. “Another job?”
“Yeah, kiddo.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Sometimes you gotta go where the money resides… and this one supposedly pays way more than the two I already have combined.”
“What kind of job is it? What will you be doing?” he fired off questions, his inquisitive nature taking over.
I inhaled slowly, searching for an answer that wasn’t a lie but wasn’t the full truth either, careful not to shatter his innocent view of the world.
“Just transporting goods,” I finally said. “But it’s a little more top secret. That’s why they pay more.”
Leaning closer to him, I lowered my voice as if we were sharing a secret meant only for the two of us.
“Good thing is… if everything works out, I’ll be able to give you the gift of all gifts way sooner than expected.”
His curiosity instantly took over. “And what is that?”
I grinned. “It’s top secret… just like the job.”
He studied me intently for a second, his brow furrowing in thought before a deep sigh escaped his lips—the complete opposite of the reaction I had expected.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, worry creeping into my voice.
“Jo, I know you have to work… but I don’t like you working so hard,” he confessed, his small voice trembling as if the weight of my responsibilities pressed down on him too. “Isn’t all that work bad for your health?” he added, sincere concern etched on his young face.
What I really wanted to say was, Yeah, it is.
I wanted to tell him that I was terrified, that I had no idea what kind of mess I was stepping into tonight, and that every decision I made lately felt like a gamble. But Kyrin didn’t need to carry that weight, so I swallowed it.
"It is, sport,” I answered softly, my heart swelling at his worry. “But bills don’t care if you’re tired, responsibilities don’t pause just because life gets heavy, and the world definitely doesn’t slow down just because you’re doing your best.”
He listened quietly, absorbing my words with the seriousness only a child can muster.
“This is just temporary,” I continued, my voice steady but thick with emotion. “I only took this job so we can have a better life.”
The sincerity of my voice wavered, and I hated that he could probably hear it crack.
“More importantly,” I nudged his shoulder, “a better life for you.”
He looked up at me then, his deep brown eyes searching mine for reassurance.
“Kyrin… I need you to understand something.”
I paused, making sure he heard me clearly.
“Everything I do is for you… always you.”
His eyes softened, but he didn’t say anything right away.
“I love you so much,” I continued, my voice cracking despite trying to keep it steady. “You’re the reason I keep pushing… even when I’m tired… even when I’m scared. And no matter what happens, I’m never going to stop fighting for you.”
I leaned in, kissing his forehead tenderly, then his cheek, and finally the tip of his nose, each gentle peck a promise of my unwavering love.
Kyrin laughed, trying to squirm away in mock protest, but I caught his face in my hands, planting another kiss on his cheek.
“Okaaaaaay. Enough with the kisses already,” he groaned, laughing for real now.
“Get used to them,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him playfully. “Because I’m going to keep kissing you as long as you’re here, trying to stop me.”
We stayed like that for another minute, just smiling and soaking in the moment, a little island of happiness in the chaos of our lives. Then I stood and tucked the blanket securely around him, making sure he was warm and cozy.
“Mama’s going to be here with you while I’m out, okay? You be good. I’ll be back later. Bedtime is in an hour, and don’t even think about hopping back on that game tonight.” I pointed at him firmly, trying to maintain a facade of authority.
“Ahh, man!” he groaned, disappointment creeping back into his tone. “Yeah… because I know you,” I laughed, grateful for the lightness in the moment. “But I love you.”
He nodded, his attention already drifting back toward the TV. “Love you, Jo.”
I walked out before he could see my face, because if I stayed another second, I might’ve cried right there in front of him, unable to bear the thought of him worrying about me.
Instead, I made it to the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind me, and leaned against it as the weight of the day crashed over me.
And then, the cry I had been holding in for days…
maybe weeks… maybe even longer than that erupted from my chest like a dam breaking loose.
I covered my mouth with both hands, stifling the sound, my shoulders shaking as if everything I’d been carrying finally spilled out.
“Lord…” I whispered, my voice barely there, trembling with the rawness of my emotion.
I slid down onto the edge of the tub, curling my knees to my chest, wiping my face, but the tears kept pouring forth, each one a release of the overwhelming stress that gripped me.
“Lord, I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to hold everything together,” I whispered into the quiet, my breath shaking as I poured out my heart. The words continued to spill out because, at that point, prayer felt less like talking and more like a desperate plea for survival.
“You see everything I’m carrying—the bills, the stress, Kyrin being sick, Mama being Mama, and me trying to be strong for everybody when I barely know what I’m doing myself.”
I took a deep sniff, the salty tang of tears still lingering, and wiped my damp face again with the back of my hand.
“They say you don't put more on people than they can bear… but Lord, sometimes it really feels like you be testing that theory with me. But I trust you… I do.”
My hands folded together instinctively, fingers interlocking as if seeking support in their clasp.
“I just need strength—real strength—not the kind that’s merely a facade where I wear a smile so people think I’m okay, but the kind that roots me in place when everything around me is crumbling into chaos.”
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out the noise of doubt that threatened to creep in.
“And if I’m about to walk into something tonight that’s risky, please watch over me and protect me. Please don’t let this decision come back to hurt the people I love,” I added, my heart pounding. “Protect Kyrin, too.”
A pause lingered heavily.
“And my mama… even though she gets on my nerves more often than not.”
A weak laugh escaped me, mingling with the moisture of my tears and the heaviness in my chest.
“You know my heart, Lord. You know I ain’t out here trying to be evil or reckless. I’m not even asking for riches or fame; I’m just a sister trying to save her brother.” My voice dropped to a whisper, filled with urgency. “I just… need a fast way to help my brother.”
I stood and walked over to the mirror. My reflection stared back at me. My eyes were red and swollen, evidence of a long day filled with worry, and my face looked tired. But somewhere beneath it all, there was still something flickering—determination.
I pointed at my reflection. “Get it together, Ajori,” I muttered fiercely.
I wiped under my eyes, erasing the traces of my vulnerability, and straightened my shoulders, pulling back the weight of my fears.
“You’ve survived worse days than this,” I reminded myself, drawing strength from my resolve. A deep breath filled my lungs, expanding my chest.
“You’re doing this for Kyrin,” I repeated, each word a mantra. Another breath fueled my spirit. “And quitting is not an option.”
I nodded once at my reflection; a silent pact made between me and the woman in the glass.
“Now go make something shake.”
***
I was back at the warehouse.
Marcos leaned back slightly in his chair while I sat across from him, trying not to look as nervous as I felt.
"First run’s local, like I told you the other day. For the first week or so, they all will be... just enough for you to get a feel for how everything works. If you’re comfortable by the end of week two, we’ll scale you up… distance and pay.”
“How much is the pay?” I inquired.
Marcos’s eyes flickered with a hint of surprise. “Yeah, you are different. Most people would’ve been asked that question. But for you… the first one you’ll receive will be ten thousand.”
“Ten thousand?!” I shrieked before quickly covering my mouth.
A smirk played at the corner of Marcos’s lips, a mix of amusement and satisfaction.
“Yeah… that’s what I said. Usually, a newbie only gets about half of that, especially for the distance you’re going. But…”
“But what?” I asked, narrowing my eyes suspiciously as I tried to decipher his cryptic tone.