Chapter 23 #2
“I’m not being mean. But the guy is strange. Just ask Hubert and Carolyn. They say he’s a recluse.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Callie says. “Lenny is shy when it comes to people. His parents love him just the same. He just needs a girl like June to bring him out of his shell and make him more of a people person.”
I pull June a little closer to me. Dr. Lenny Schreiber needs something, but not June or probably anyone like her. Girls like June need guys with actual personalities.
“Are you two excited for the orchestra tomorrow?” Callie asks.
“Yes,” June says so quickly it makes Callie and Rupert laugh. Then she looks up at me with an irresistible smile and pink in her cheeks.
“We’ll get out of here, so you can get to bed,” I say.
“Thank you, again. And why don’t you take the whole day off tomorrow since you have a fun night planned.”
I’m living in their garage. Taking the day off isn’t the gift she thinks it is. But what am I supposed to say? “Thanks,” I murmur.
“Good night,” June says, removing her hand from my pocket.
“Night, kids,” Rupert says as we step out the door.
“Well, this evening didn’t go as planned,” I say as we walk hand-in-hand to my car parked on the street.
“I’m just glad Loki is okay. It was still a fun evening,” June says because she always looks at the bright side.
It might be what I love most about her. She’s light to my darkness. Everything comes to life, and I feel a different kind of hope with her.
“Because you got to play the cello?” I ask, opening her door.
She slips into the seat. “Because I was with you, silly.”
I pause before shutting her door, and she looks up at me while pulling her hair over one shoulder.
“What?” she says.
“I love you.”
Her shoulders, face, everything relaxes. I want to tell her a million times that I love her because I like how the words feel leaving my mouth when she’s looking at me. It’s as if each time, they’re pulling a little piece of something from my chest. Something physical. Something real.
“I mean it,” I say.
Her forehead tightens, and I close the door before I vomit everything all at once. As we pull onto the street, I turn on the radio to fill the silence. She loves whatever music I play, and I like watching her drum her fingers on her legs to the beat of the song or mouth the lyrics.
“We should run by your place so you can grab some clothes,” she suggests.
“What for?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m hoping you want to stay the night with me since you don’t have work tomorrow.”
“We’ve passed my place. Do I need actual pajamas?”
She giggles. “No. I just figured you’d want clean clothes for the morning.”
“I’ll run home in the morning. Don’t you have to work?”
She nods.
I practice the speech in my head.
June, I’m living in the Rawlings’garage, but they don’t know it. I stole Rupert’s car, and that’s why I’m working for him. I’ve been to prison—twice. But I’m afraid of losing you to the truth, which is ironic because you’re the first thing in my life that has ever really felt true.
Just as I open my mouth to see if the words will come out, because waiting another day feels too painful, June says, “The Rawlings adore you.”
“What?” I heard her, but I wasn’t expecting her to say that. And I think “adore” is too strong of a word.
“I think they’ve suffered and felt a lot of hopeless moments since losing their grandson and as result, their son too.
It’s easy to feel like you’ll never find your way out of the darkness when something so permanent steals your light.
But I see it when they look at you. It’s hope.
A glimmer of light. Like reading an inspiring book or watching a movie.
Even if it’s not your life, you feel other people’s joy.
It radiates, and no one is immune to it.
I think they love seeing you discover parts of yourself you never knew existed. ”
“What parts are those?” I ask.
She grins, resting her hand on my leg. “Your innocence.”
I grunt. “I’m not innocent.”
“Everyone possesses innocence. Sometimes we see it as inexperience, which can have a negative connotation. But it’s innocence.
Vulnerability. Something we all have in common, even if we don’t want to share it.
Getting a glimpse of it feels pretty great, especially when you get to be with someone as they experience something for the first time.
Like I’ll get to do with you tomorrow night. ”
I give her a reluctant smile. “And what do you think the Rawlings have seen me experience for the first time?” I ask, parking along the street in front of her building.
She unfastens her seat belt and opens her door. “Kindness,” she says. “I imagine.”
I grab my door handle and check the road to make sure no one is coming, but I also take a few seconds to digest her words.
When we step into her apartment, Ally yells from the bedroom. “Help!”
June gives me a funny look. Ally sounds more upset than desperate. I hang back a few feet as she heads toward Ally’s bedroom.
“I think I stripped the screw. It won’t budge.”
“What is it?” June asks.
I step closer, craning my head to see what they’re talking about.
“Maybe Flynn can help,” June says, waving me into the room.
“Hey, Flynn,” Ally says, frowning in the middle of the room, on the floor with pieces of wood and various screws in ripped open plastic bags.
“What do we have here?” I ask, lifting the box to see the picture of the IKEA desk.
“It said easy assembly. But I disagree. Something is wrong with the screws or this stupid little tool or …” She sighs, dropping her head into her hands. “Me. Something is wrong with me. How can I pass the bar exam if I can’t put together a desk?”
“Grab a drink. Chill on the sofa for a few minutes. Whatever,” I say. “I’ve got this.”
Ally lights up. “Seriously?”
I pick up a few of the pieces, inspecting them. “Yeah. Seriously. Shouldn’t be too hard.”
“Oh, I love you!” She jumps to her feet and hugs me.
“Down girl. He’s mine.” June laughs.
Ally releases me and steps back. “Sorry. But I’m just saying, if Juju doesn’t marry you, I will. There’s nothing sexier than a guy with skills and tools in his car.”
“Oh my gosh, stop!” June laughs, pulling Ally out of the room.
I shake my head and chuckle.
In less than ten minutes, I have the desk assembled.
“No luck?” Ally asks, when I join them in the living room as they share a bag of microwave popcorn.
“Luck? I don’t rely on luck. It’s put together. All the trash is neatly piled by the door. I’ll run it down to the dumpster in the morning.”
June stands, and her big grin is all the reward I need as she steps toward me with the popcorn bag.
“Flynn, you are the best,” Ally says, heading into the kitchen. “How can I thank you?”
“No need. I’ll handle it,” June says, backing me into the bedroom with the bag of popcorn between us.
I’m conflicted. The look on her face says she’s offering something pretty special as a thank-you. But the popcorn smells delicious, and I love popcorn. June closes the door, eyes on me. I take the popcorn bag and sit on the end of her bed, eating it while she unbuttons her jeans.
“It was no big deal,” I mumble over a mouthful of popcorn. It’s butter flavored. My favorite.
“Ally easily crashes out. You saved the night. It’s a huge deal.” She steps out of her jeans and shrugs off her shirt.
I take another bite of popcorn.
We need to talk. But now I’m a hero in her eyes. And she’s stripping. Maybe she’s right. We can talk after the orchestra. At this point, what’s twenty-four more hours?
“I know Ally will be a big shot lawyer, and I’m just a girl who rides a bike”—she removes her bra—“but I don’t think she would suggest eating pizza in the car.”
I chuckle. “Do you think I’m interested in Ally?”
She shrugs a shoulder, and I don’t know if she’s genuinely insecure or just messing with me.
So I set the bag of popcorn on the floor, then reach for her hand, guiding her to stand between my legs.
Her breasts are hidden behind her hair, but I don’t touch anything but her hips as I drop my forehead, resting it over her heart.
Closing my eyes, I commit this feeling to memory.
The warmth of her soft skin. Her silky hair brushing my face. The gentle stroke of her fingers in my hair. I’ve never felt so human. If I focus solely on this moment, I might even allow myself to feel deserving.
“I love you,” she whispers before kissing my head.
Why does she love me? What does she see that I don’t? And is it real?