Chapter 32 Zach
Zach
Zach sat there, not sure whether to shit or go blind.
He wasn’t sure that this whole thing—from the second he set eyes on Colton to right now—wasn’t just some weird-assed fever dream. Had it only been a week?
Even one fucking week?
Maybe a lifetime.
He sat there watching Colton sleep. Every so often Colton would wake up, mutter something to him and then crash again. It was kind of funny; stoned Colton was utterly adorable.
He brushed Colton’s hand. It was so dark against the white sheets. Dark and scarred, there were so many stories in that hand, and he wanted Colton to make more, ones that involved touching him.
The question was, would Colton want that when he came to and realized it was Zach’s fault he’d been shot?
Sheriff Ted could say what he wanted about “serve and protect,” but Zach had picked Colton to ask for help.
He’d also gone about getting Colton on his side by flirting and teasing with the promise of more.
Sure, he’d planned to make good on those hints, if Colton had wanted, but it was still a shitty thing he’d done.
No matter what he told himself, Zach could’ve skedaddled when Grandpa died. After the funeral, he could have packed his bags and left. Steven probably wouldn’t have known enough to stop him. He’d have figured he could find what he needed in Grandpa’s stuff.
Then Colton wouldn’t have been shot.
“No, you’re not.” Colton’s voice whispered.
Zach opened his eyes. Colton looked at him like he’d hung the moon.
“I’m not what?” He rubbed Colton’s hand.
“Not to blame. Not going to get rid of me this easily. Or going to be with anyone else but my stunning self.”
Zach laughed for a second before the tears came. He used his free hand to pinch his eyelids shut, but it didn’t stop the stream flowing down his cheek.
“Whoa. Hey, honey. It’s going to be okay.” He rubbed his thumb over Zach’s, but it didn’t help.
“No…. It’s…. I did this to you. How can it ever be okay?”
Colton snorted, eyes rolling like thrown dice.
“Because I know you didn’t, dork. I’ve never been as alive as when I’m with you.
You try to leave me, they’re gonna need to shoot me again to keep me from finding you.
” Colton wiggled a little, grunting with the motion.
“I gotta admit, I’m not loving this whole bullet thing. ”
Zach laughed through the tears. “You gonna chase me down the hall with your ass hanging out of that gown?”
“Won’t have to.” Colton smiled, and it burned away the fear in Zach's heart. “Not if you don’t leave me.”
Zach heaved in a lungful of antiseptic-flavored hospital air. “I can’t stay here much longer. Your momma told me she has dibs next time you wake up.”
“That sounds like her.”
Colton scowled, lines drawn deep beside his mouth, and Zach touched his cheek. “Be nice to her, Colton. She’s scared too. And she’s been real good to me. Even after you kicked her out, she hugged me when I was by myself.”
“She’s got a good heart. It’s just been beaten up a bit.” Colton relaxed and winked at him. “We get along way better when we aren’t in each other’s pockets.”
Zach grew up seeing how that could hurt a person. “Get some rest. Franny snuck me in between visiting hours. The others will be back soon.”
“Uh-huh. Listen to me now.” Colton grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. “I’m serious, Zach. Don’t you leave town on me. We've got some living to do when I get my happy ass out of here.”
He froze because it was as if Colton had read every thought the moment Zach had them. “Did that bullet make you psychic? How do you know what I’m thinking?”
“Because your heart’s been hurt too.” The grin he got was pure sunshine. “Let me love you like you deserve. And you can love me back. If we do that, it’ll be all good.”
The sterile hallway felt familiar after five days.
Zach had lived there since Colton was shot.
He’d dozed off in the molded plastic chairs several times waiting for a chance to see Colton.
Last night, Nanette had threatened to have him handcuffed and thrown in a cruiser if he didn’t go to the big house to eat, shower, and sleep.
She wasn’t wrong. He needed all three, but he hated leaving. Not that they needed him at the hospital. Most of the time he was in the room, Colton slept.Which was right.
“Hey, Zach? Zach, can I talk to you?”
The familiar, if not entirely welcome, voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
Ashton stood with Maddie to Zach’s left.
He chewed his lower lip and couldn’t quite meet Zach’s gaze.
Ashton wore that wary of everything expression Zach had seen all too often the last six-plus years.
If Colton weren’t still in the ICU, Zach would’ve had more time to be sympathetic toward his ex-bandmate. Maybe in a few weeks.
Except Maddie said Zach needed to make time today. She was right. Ashton needed help too, but it didn’t make it easier for Zach to pull his focus away from Colton.
“Hey, Ash.” He gave a half-hearted wave and would’ve moved on, except Maddie pinned him with a look. Right. “How are you?”
Stupid question. If he’d been all right, he wouldn’t be here, scared and alone.
“Okay.” He glanced down and shook his head. “I don’t know. I—Everything’s shit now. I don’t know what to do. They’re all gone… just you and Maddie.”
Zach froze, unsure how to respond. Ashton seemed to want to stick with Zach now that everyone else was gone.
Maddie had pushed for this meeting, which meant she agreed, but Zach wasn’t sold.
They’d had too much history to pave over in a heartbeat.
Ashton wasn’t the worst, but he’d always sided with his brothers over Zach when it came down to it.
Okay, he often joined in only after some prodding from the others, but he still hated on Zach more than a time or two.
Behind Ashton, Maddie motioned toward a waiting room. Zach shook his head, but she wasn’t having it. She was calling in a marker, and Lord knew he owed her a lot. Despite his misgivings, he caved. This had to be important to her, and he could sort out why later.
“Let’s go talk in the waiting room.” She stepped closer and tugged Zach by the arm.
He resisted for a second, but she didn’t let go, so he went where she wanted. Ashton led the way and when it was just the three of them, Zach closed the door. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he’d get to see Colton.
“So why me?” It wasn’t the friendliest way to start things, but he had somewhere to be. He ignored Maddie’s scowl. Did she really expect warm and fuzzy?
“Huh? I... Like I said, I don’t have anyone else.”
“No, I mean why did you… they come after me? I didn’t have any money, and none of you liked me. I was gone. Why not just get away?”
“Kellan said it was your fault Bradley… you weren’t there, that scary guy said Ulmstead owed him and to pay up.”
“That was my fault?” What little sympathy he had for Ashton was drying up fast.
“You were always the star. Kellan said he was tired of you always acting like we were dog shit you’d stepped in, like you were this perfect thing, and we were slime.
That was him. Rocky and Peter agreed. They blamed you for everything.
Said if you’d just handed over the money, or gone with that scary guy, none of it would’ve happened.
Stephen wouldn’t have had to sell Bradley, they wouldn’t have killed Stephen, all of it.
Kellan said we had to find you and make you pay for what happened to Bradley. ”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Maddie shook her head. “Seriously? I swear to God, people have died because those boys were jealous?”
Zach arched an eyebrow. She was right, but there was more here.
If Ashton wanted something, he needed to come clean.
“What about before? You five showed up when I was thirteen. Tight as a frog’s ass you all were.
I never thought I was better than you; I was trying to keep out of your way.
You five never wanted anything to do with me. ”
“The five of us shared two rooms, and you had your own.” He shrugged. “Didn’t take a degree to see you didn’t want any of us in there with you.”
“Grandpa owned the show. Had any of you been nice to me, I might have.”
“Look, Zach, I’m not as brave as you. Kellan and the others were all I had, and I barely had that.
Next to you, they hated me the most. Ulmstead…
wasn’t a nice person. I mean he gave Bradley to that scary fucker—that was his own son.
I wasn’t even kin. Just some kid they found and took in.
I didn’t have Jeb or Maddie to protect me, so I did whatever I had to do to get by. ”
That felt revisionist, but it also had a ring of truth. Ashton had never led the charge, and didn’t always chime in. But he’d done enough that Zach wasn’t ready to pretend they were besties.
“No one ever offered to take me away from all this,” Ashton said when Zach didn’t speak. “I tried to help, and now I've got nothing but my backpack. Three of them are dead, and Bradley’s never gonna get out of jail once that shoulder wound heals. I tried to help.” He whispered the last four words.
“Yeah, right. So why did Colton get shot?”
Ashton held up his hands like he was being arrested. “I swear. As soon as I got free, I went to the sheriff. It was just hard, you know that. They were watching me. You have to know that!”
“Chill.” The last thing he needed was for Colton to hear they’d made a scene in the hospital lobby. “I hear you.”
He did actually. Breaking from the only family and life he knew, stuck in the middle of nowhere Montana, it had been tough for Zach, and he’d had Maddie. Ashton probably didn’t have any money.
“I know you didn’t want to see me, but I wanted you to know I turned them in. When I got to the sheriff, I told them to warn you. I wanted everything to be okay, and when I ran away… I was fucked.”
The warning hadn’t been soon enough, but without it, Greg and the sheriff wouldn’t have been there in time to save Colton.
“Thank you.” The words fell out of his lips, but he didn’t regret saying them.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Zach said softly. “He’d have died if you hadn’t told the sheriff.”
Ashton clasped his hands in his lap and stared at them. “I didn’t want anyone to die.”
“I need to go, but thank you for what you did.” He debated shaking hands, but he wasn’t over six years of being hated on.
He’d forgive Ashton, just not today. Somewhere in the back of his head, he heard his grandfather mutter, tomorrow doesn’t look good either.
But next week had potential. “I’m glad you got away from them and didn’t commit murder or anything. I’ll…we’ll talk soon.”
He opened the door and headed for the elevator. Maddie would help Zach figure out how to help Ashton. Colton would have bled out if no one had told the sheriff about the tracker, so Zach owed him.
He pushed the up button and thanked God the car was on the first floor because he would have looked like an idiot, having to wait for his grand exit. When the doors closed though, he let out a shaky, rough little laugh. Okay. Okay, he was doing this.
He was managing shit.
Zach figured all he had to do was get Colton healthy, help Colton finish and move into his home, figure out what to do with the rest of his life, and get his driver’s license.
No problem.
He had this.