The Music in Me

Chapter 1

“Thirteen dates in April. Regional tour with...No, no, hell no. Not those lunatics. We need an opener who actually sounds like I Kramer... Oh c’mon, Johnson, call me back when you’ve actually got a good deal for me. Till then, get lost.”

The phone slamming down on its receiver causes me to startle. I release an annoyed sigh and glare over at my manager for disturbing me. It was already hard enough for me to concentrate with this massive headache. The sound of slamming phones was the last thing I needed.

“Did you have to hang up on him like that? I’m trying to have a good reputation in the industry, you know?” I muttered, abandoning the handwritten song lyrics arranged in chaotic piles across an antique wooden table in the corner of the smoke-infested office. I dropped heavily into a leather armchair in front of Leon Richard’s desk and silently winced. This headache was a killer.

“Sorry,” Leon murmured back, though his voice betrayed his sentiment. “I’m just sick of these scumbag bookers and promoters trying to squeeze you into this bullshit folk-punk genre, or whatever. You play rock and roll music. That’s it. It’s simple. You don’t need to be playing with these assholes who haven’t showered in three years.” Leaning back in his leather chair and wiping a hand through the grizzle of his salt-and-pepper beard, Leon sighed and glanced over at me. “You alright?”

“Fine,” I mumbled. “Headache. Least of my problems, really.”

Leon leaned forward and turned his chair to face me. “Hey,” he said, catching my eyes. My light blue gaze connects with his dark brown one. “We’re gonna be fine, alright? Everyone gets uninspired now and then. It’s how art works. Sometimes you gotta let the well fill up a little before you can make another masterpiece.”

“Yeah, well, if my well doesn’t fill up soon, I’ll lose my record deal. I won’t have an album to deliver and... I don’t even want to finish that sentence.” I leaned my forehead against my hand and reached for the water bottle sitting on the desk across from me. “I’ve tried over and over again, Leon. Nothing’s coming. It’s like... like I’m just dried up. I’m fucking stuck.”

“And this wouldn’t have anything to do with…?”

“Don’t,” I warned him. He and I had a special relationship that went beyond client and manager. I was young when I got into the music business, and he’s always taken care of me. We’ve been together long enough that I considered him family. And just like family, he didn’t mind poking in my business when he wanted to.

“It’s been three months, Kira. The whole world has moved on from that ugliness. You should do the same.”

“I have moved on,” I growled at him. “You’re the one who keeps bringing him up.”

“I haven’t said his name in months, and I only bring him up now because you’ve never had this problem before.”

I held back a sigh. Three months ago, I learned that Anthony, my boyfriend of two years, was cheating on me. That was painful and heartbreaking. The fact that I learned about it from the front page of a gossip magazine was humiliating and traumatic. It was hard enough that I now had to grieve a relationship I thought was perfect, but I also had to endure public scrutiny. Every move I made was analyzed and debated. Even now, I could feel every eye on me as I got ready to release my next album.

I knew everyone wanted to hear me talk about my relationship. They wanted to hear my pain and grief. They wanted to know if I was over it or still heartbroken. I wished I had answers to all those questions. The truth was that I felt numb to it all.

“This has nothing to do with Anthony.” I sighed again and restlessly got to my feet. “Let me know if there’s an update on the opener for the tour. I’m going to stare at a blank piece of paper for another three hours.”

“Maybe you need some solitude to help promote the creative juices, huh?”

“This is about that cabin again, isn’t it?”

Leon grabbed his cell phone from the edge of the desk and quickly scrolled through a few photos before holding the phone out for me to take. “Look at this and tell me it isn’t perfect for a getaway trip.”

I glanced down at the illuminated phone screen and nodded vaguely. The photo of the cabin made it look like a postcard. I knew it had been in Leon’s family for some time, and he’d gotten it a few years ago. Maybe Leon was right. Maybe a change of scenery would help me out.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, pushing the phone back into his hands. I slid my sunglasses down to my face and shoved my hands in my pockets as I made my way toward the office door. “See you in a bit.”

The rest of the afternoon faded away into a blur of half-completed lyric sheets, strumming endless melodies on my guitar and staring out the balcony of my studio into the lifeless hot streets of downtown Florida. I knew I was in trouble if I didn’t write an album in the next month, but somehow, the high stakes failed to inspire any creativity in me. Days and weeks had gone by without even an iota of creative production on my end. I would play and play my guitar for hours, and nothing would form. Nothing would stick.

I was officially burned out.

It was absolutely the worst possible time to burn out, but I took the realization in stride as I doubled down on my efforts every single day to make something of substance. Like Leon had said, I knew it wasn’t possible to force creativity, but goddamn, could I use a miracle about now.

As the afternoon drifted into evening, I finally put my guitar down and ordered takeout for dinner. While I waited for my dinner to be delivered, I stood by my window and had a glass of wine, watching the occasional person meander by.

“Written a hit single yet?” a voice called out behind me.

“What do I get if I say yes?” I retorted, recognizing Leon’s voice as I turned around and leaned against the wrought-iron fire escape.

“A cookie,” he muttered humorlessly, folding his thick, muscular arms across his chest.

“Well, in that case...” I took my last sip of wine and grinned. “Tell me a little bit more about this cabin. I’ve been thinking about it and... I don’t know. Sounds fun.”

“It’s nothing too fancy. Just a little property that’s been passed down through my family over the years. Three bedrooms, beautiful views. Nothing for miles around you. That doesn’t sound scary to a born-and-raised city girl like you?” he asked as he sat on my worn leather couch beside a collection of amplifiers.

“Might actually do me good,” I said with a slight shrug. “I mean, I’m getting desperate. At this point, I’d try anything. Does the place have Wi-Fi?”

“Yep. Freezer full of meat out in the garage. Basic dry good groceries to last a whole nuclear winter. Even has a spare bedroom where you could set up all your gear.” Leon looked thoughtful as he spoke as if he were thinking of something other than what he was saying.

“Okay. So it’s basically perfect. What’s the catch?” I was always good at spotting bullshit a mile away. Something about the way Leon stared stiffly at the floor made my intuition go off.

For many moments, my manager said nothing. Then he leaned forward and pressed his forearms into his knees. “Well, the catch is that... if you go, you gotta take me with you.”

“Take you with me? What, are you going to be my live-in nanny?” I laughed through a small scoff.

“I’d rather be your daddy.”

I felt my face flush. I wasn’t a baby. “What?”

“I’m going to whip you into shape.” The words hung strangely in the air between us as I tried to puzzle out exactly what he meant. Of course he was speaking metaphorically, but the way he said it...

I chewed thoughtfully on my bottom lip for a moment. “So it’ll be like boot camp?”

Leon got to his feet and came to stand just a couple of inches away from me. He was a few inches taller than me, and his body was thick and powerful. He rested his hands against the waistband of his pants.

“I’m going to whip you into shape,” he repeated, his voice low and a little dangerous sounding in the back of his throat.

I blinked. Something stirred deep within me. What was that? Attraction? No, no, no. That wasn’t possible.

“Sir, yes sir,” I murmured back.

“I mean what I say. You will be my little girl, and I’ll take care of you. You will call me Daddy and do everything I tell you to while we’re there, when I tell you to do it. We will have some special... work sessions in which you must abide by my rules completely. Do you understand?”

I studied Leon’s face carefully. He was usually demanding, but this was a new side of him I had never really noticed before. He was demanding in a different way. His threats seemed more dangerous somehow. Dangerous in a good way.

“Alright, then.” I agreed, but I was unsure what I was really agreeing to. Heat was building up deep inside my core. My mouth was suddenly very dry, and I felt that something new and unique was taking root in our relationship. Whatever it was, I wanted more.

“We leave at nine tomorrow morning. It’s a long drive. I’ll pick you up here. Be ready.” With a gruff nod and a silent wave, Leon slowly backed up and exited the studio, leaving me staring at him open-mouthed. I didn’t know much about Leon’s personal life, only because he didn’t have much of one due to how dedicated he was to his job, but I couldn’t help but wonder if something sexual had not just passed between us. Perhaps I was just projecting. It was hard to say when my mind had been so preoccupied with the upcoming album.

I foundsleep difficult to come by that night as worries about the upcoming delivery date for my nonexistent album loomed closer and closer. I was excited about my little getaway with Leon, if not a little wary about it. After hitting snooze at least three times the following morning, I wearily got to my feet and shoved my legs into some discarded pants before stuffing a few handfuls of clothes into a duffel bag. I had an apartment uptown but mostly found living in the studio easier, especially while writing and recording.

It was two minutes past nine when the shrill ringing of my cell phone reverberated through the studio. It was Leon.

“Yeah?” I mumbled sleepily into the phone.

“Did I not say to be ready at exactly nine?” His voice was low and deep in the back of his throat.

Crap.I overslept. “Oh, chill out. I’ll be out soon.”

“Do not tell me what to do, young lady. Get down to this car right now.”

Young lady? I hesitated, my mouth opening and shutting several times before I could form words.

“Y...yes, sir.”

What the hell was that? Why did I say that? I heard him hang up on the other end of the line and slid the phone into my pocket. What was Leon doing? It was almost like he was acting like... a father toward me or something. Was this what he meant by ‘a Daddy who will whip me into shape’? I chewed on my bottom lip as I quickly threw on my coat and slung my duffel bag over my shoulder. I picked up my guitar case on my way toward the door and jogged outside.

Leon’s Ford Ranger sat idle on the curb outside of my building. Tossing the guitar into the bed of the truck and the duffel bag in the back seat, I climbed into the passenger’s side and nodded a silent hello to my manager.

He nodded back a silent greeting and put the car into drive.

“Got you a coffee. I don’t know how you drink that shit so sugared up. You need to grow up, don’t you think?”

“How sweet of you.” I rolled my eyes but took the warm styrofoam cup and held it between my hands.

“You could stand to be a little more grateful and a little less bratty,” Leon mumbled back as he settled into his seat and directed the truck down the street.

I couldn’t help but pause and think silently about Leon’s words. Something was definitely happening between us. It was as if Leon was infantilizing me in some way, treating me like I was... well, a teenager. What exactly was he doing? And why was I so intrigued by it?

The car ride lasted about three hours, during which we stopped briefly for lunch at a small roadside café. When we finally arrived and pulled into the stone-and-brick cottage partially overlooking the summit, a surge of gratitude that I had decided to come along passed through me.

“Wow,” I whispered as I climbed out of the car and approached the short driveway. “It’s... Leon, it’s beautiful.

“Yeah, well...” He shrugged a little and grabbed our bags out of the car. “Go take a look inside. I’ll gather some wood for our steaks tonight. After that, we have our first work session.”

My core warmed considerably as that phrase—work session—rattled around in my mind. Whatever it was he had in mind for me tonight, I was excited. I was surprised by Leon’s sudden change in demeanor. He wasn’t being overprotective so much as he was acting almost like a caretaker. Steak for dinner had been fantastic, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he had not involved me in the choice to do so.

I spent the rest of the afternoon setting up my guitar and traveling amplifier in the spare bedroom. I spread my lyric sheets across the floor and slowly began filling in some of the lyrical and musical gaps. All the while, I heard Leon lumbering around the yard as he gathered firewood and puttered through the kitchen while he prepared some kind of meal for us.

When the sun finally went down, we enjoyed dinner together to the soundtrack of the miscellaneous wildlife outside the dining room window.

“This was... wow. Leon, I don’t think you’ve ever done something so nice for me.”

“It’s not about being nice,” he said, sitting back and taking a long swallow from his glass of homemade wine he found in the cellar. “Just taking care of my little girl.”

Little girl?!

Again, my mind circled around restlessly. What the hell was he talking about? When had I ever been his little girl?

“Oh, pour me some of that wine. You made it, right? I’d love to try it?” I pushed my glass forward and was surprised by Leon’s entertained smirk.

“Nice try, but you ain’t old enough to drink yet, and you know it. Maybe I’ll let you have a glass once you finish your work.”

“Not old enough––?!” I frowned, glancing down into my glass and then up at Leon once again. “What the hell are you...?” My voice fell silent as everything seemed to click together. I was his little girl. This was how he was going to whip me into shape.

I sat back in my chair and met his steady gaze with my own. “Heh. You caught me.”

“You’re too young to appreciate it, anyway. You’d probably just think it tastes bad. Now, put your dish in the sink and go work on your songs. I’ll come meet you there in a little bit. Got it?”

That same familiar warmth burst into my lower abdomen, and I knew right then and there that my panties would be soaked. I got up from the table and took my plate to the sink, just as he instructed me to. Why was it so pleasurable to be told what to do? To follow orders? I returned to the spare bedroom and sat down at the small antique desk to begin looking at my lyrics once again. I was proud of the work I had done today. Though it wasn’t much, it was more than I had yesterday.

I worked through the next couple of hours, hardly realizing any time passed by at all. Words flowed easily, though that didn’t necessarily mean they were worth much, and I even had some new ideas for chord progressions and song structures.

“Knock, knock.” Leon tapped on the door once before pushing it open. “You better be decent in there.”

“Yeah, totally decent,” I said, shaking my head at myself. Totally wasn’t a word I had used since I was fifteen.

“How’s it going? Get some good progress?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe and giving the room a brief scrutinizing.

“Yeah. A couple of songs are beefed up. Gives me hope that maybe I’ll actually be productive on this trip.” I shrugged.

“Don’t worry. I’m going to see to it myself that you’re productive.” Leon promised. “C’mon. I have something I want to talk to you about.”

Feeling much like I had just been caught staying out too late, I put my pencil down and slid away from the desk. I followed Leon into the living room and sat down on the couch beside him. He looked up at me with softened eyes as if the strange veneer developing between us since last night was briefly gone.

“So,” he said, dragging a hand through his messy chestnut hair. “I have something of a proposal for you.”

“Alright.” I nodded, my eyes narrowing with suspicion. This was confirmation that I hadn’t just been imagining it. Leon was definitely acting strange. My curiosity piqued, I sat back against the couch and listened.

“I told you when I suggested that we come here together that I was going to whip you into shape to help you get your career back on track.” Leon looked almost nervous for a moment, but it quickly passed. He sat up and leaned forward, his knee brushing up against mine. “And I meant it.”

I felt a small shiver pass through me. It began at the top of my spine and traveled down to the tips of my toes. I swallowed down a growing lump in my throat and felt the sudden wave of wetness in my panties I had known was coming. It was so strange... I had never thought about Leon sexually before. It had always been playful between us, but I now saw that the playfulness was rooted in a much deeper attraction.

Leon inched forward, scooting down the couch until his entire thigh pressed into mine. He reached over and laid a hand on my knee. As he did so, he leaned forward, and our lips brushed gently together.

I gasped quietly, sucking in a breath as a spark of electricity seemed to pass between us. A whimper of need escaped me as Leon’s hand tightened around my knee and slowly shifted upward.

He trailed one hand up my side and let it rest on my cheek. His tongue was warm and wet as it parted my lips and explored every crevice inside of my mouth. I pressed myself forward until my breast rubbed up against his chest.

“Mmm,” I moaned gently into his mouth, “Leon... I need you...”

His hand teased my upper thigh, inching closer and closer toward the opening of my needy, wanting pussy.

“Not yet…” he whispered, his breath tickling the inside of my ear.

“What... what were you going to... propose?” I gasped between each breath, my chest heaving as I spoke. My own hand settled on the hard bulge of his cock, growing thicker and larger with every passing second.

“This.” As soon as he spoke, Leon grabbed a soft leather blindfold from the pocket of his shirt and slipped it over my eyes.

I laughed a little, my pink tongue darting out across my bottom lip. “What’s this?”

“Every night, I’ll decide if you were a good girl that day,” he explained, his hands trailing down my sides and hesitating on top of my hips. “And if you were... then you’ll get rewarded. But if you weren’t, you’ll be punished.”

I said nothing, another whimper of need escaping my lips. I really, really wanted to get fucked right now. “Okay,” I agreed, faintly. “And... how will I be punished?”

Leon’s hands tightened around my hips and lowered down to my ass. He lifted me and drew me forward until I sat in his lap with his inflating cock pressing up against me through the rough denim of his pants.

“Well,” he murmured, kneading my left ass cheek between his fingers. He suddenly slapped it with a resounding THWACK! “Bad girls get spanked, don’t they?”

I gasped, my back arching as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“If... at any time... you want me to stop,” His voice lowered and grew more serious. “Just say the word ‘red,’ okay?”

I nodded in understanding. I had heard of this system before, the traffic lights, but never used it myself.

“If you like what I’m doing and you want me to go further, say ‘green.’ And if you want me to slow down but not stop, then say ‘yellow.’ Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I whispered, “I understand.”

“Good. Now, you’ve not yet earned the status of being a good girl. You have to prove it to me every day. So unfortunately, I’m going to have to punish you.”

Unable to see anything around me, I felt a surge of pleasure rise through me as anticipation filled me up. What was he going to do? How was he going to punish me? My mind raced as Leon climbed out from under me and got off the couch. Everything was still and quiet for a few moments until I heard the soft tinkling of metal. I glanced over my shoulder, though of course I could not see anything, and whimpered quietly when I felt Leon take hold of my wrists.

A luxurious leather cuff was attached to each of my wrists. The chain connecting them was very thin and very short, keeping my arms immobile behind my back.

“You... you’re tying me up?” I mumbled out loud, half playing a part, half truly in awe of what my manager was doing to me.

Suddenly, a warm, strong hand curled over my lips and effectively silenced me. “Shhh,” Leon said softly. “I can gag you too, if you’d like.”

“Mmphhh...” I shook my head as well as I could and released a pathetic, muffled moan into the air.

“Bad girls get punished. Good girls get rewarded,” he reminded me. Slowly, he pulled his hand away from my mouth. He guided me to lean forward until I was on my knees across the couch with my ass pressing outward toward him. He reached around me and unbuttoned my tight jeans. He drew the pants down to my ankles and smiled at the sight of my lacy black thong. “Mmm, this is a nice pair,” he complimented.

I said nothing, pressing my forehead into the cool leather and waiting patiently for Leon to distribute my punishment.

He grabbed a huge handful of my bare ass and rolled it around in his palm. Then without warning, his hand came down on my ass.

“Ahhh!” I cried out, though it really didn’t hurt that badly. It was a strange sensation of both pain and pleasure mixed. God, what a combination...

“Count out loud,” Leon instructed before spanking me again.

“Unngh! One...” I counted weakly.

He spanked me again with his open palm.

“Nghh! Two...”

“Keep going. All the way to ten.”

I continued counting with each spanking until he reached ten. By then, I was panting wildly and in desperate want of even more. “Green light... green light!” I mumbled into the air.

Leon chuckled and sat down next to me on the couch. “Slowly, but surely. Right now, I think I know exactly what you need.” He pulled me into his lap once again, though this time, he arranged me to face away from him. His cock was huge and tentpoling his pants now.

He unbuttoned my shirt and let it fall down to my wrists. Then he reached around me and took each of my nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

“Ahhh! Oh, fuck... Fuck!” I cried out. My nipples were so incredibly sensitive. I loved having them played with during sex, but this... this was on a whole other level. Without my sight, it was as if every bodily sensation was amplified ten times.

Leon tweaked the sensitive little areas until they formed into hard knobs. Then he kneaded my entire breasts with his hands. “You like that, don’t you? Hm?”

“Ngghh––yeah, yeah, I like that!” I groaned through gritted teeth. “D-don’t stop, please, don’t stop!”

“Ah, ah, ah...” Leon dropped his hands from my tits and quickly hand-gagged me once again. His pressure was firm against my lips. “You don’t tell me what to do. I tell you what to do. Do you understand?”

“Mmmppphhh, mmmmph. Mmm!” I groaned in response, my hips bucking forward slightly as I humped the air needily. I was getting so turned on by this, so fucking electrified by his touch. I needed a release, and I needed it soon.

“Well, I can wait until you’re ready to be a good girl,” he said, pulling me to his chest and tightening his hand around my mouth. “I can tie you up and leave you here until you’re ready to obey. What do you think? Are you going to be good for me?”

“Mmmmmphhh...” I moaned weakly into his hand. It felt so good for him to take complete control over me. It was like I could let go and just feel rather than overthink like I always did.

I stopped humping, forcing my hips to still, and panted heavily out of my nose.

“There you go.” Leon removed his hand from around my mouth and slipped two fingers around my panties. He pulled it aside and very gently ran two fingers through my folds. “You are so fucking wet down here... Is all that for me?”

I nodded wildly. “Yes–yes, I’m so fucking wet for you, Leon...”

He drew tight circles around my clit with the pads of his fingers, enjoying as I squirmed in his lap. Then he shifted his touch downward and penetrated me, fucking me with pulses of his arm forward and backward.

“Ohhh! Ahh–fuck!” My voice reverberated loudly throughout the cabin.

Leon increased the speed and force of his thrusts until he finally flipped me onto my back on the couch. He quickly shimmied out of his pants and boxers and released his desperate cock out into the open. He rubbed the tip of it up against my opening and slowly guided himself in.

My whole body jerked in response, and I could tell he had put on a condom. It still felt amazing. I struggled to stay still even with my hands restrained. He pushed himself inside me until our hips were flush together. I was no longer forming words but merely making sounds as I bucked against him, trying to get more friction.

“Nngghhh—” Leon groaned through clenched teeth. He pushed himself forward and back, pushing until the tip of his cock hit that velvety G-spot just behind my clit. My inner walls clenched tightly around him.

I was losing it. Sex had never been this good before. “I’m gonna come–I’m going to come soon, if you––oh, God––don’t stop!” My voice increased in pitch with every passing second.

He gave one last solid thrust as he reached over and pinched my clit hard and held himself steady inside me. At the same moment his entire body went as taut as a bowstring, I stiffened dramatically. My mouth opened in a silent scream while he growled in my ear, “Come for me, little girl.” Then I let go, and another body-wracking shudder passed through me as my cum leaked out of me, sliding down my thighs and puddling beneath me.

Slowly, he pulled out of me, disposing of the condom, his breath coming in huge, hot gasps. He reached out and pulled the blindfold off me.

My eyes, huge and unbelieving at what had just transpired between us, gazed deeply into his. I caught my breath, rolling onto my side and staring at the opposite wall for a few moments. “That was... holy... shit...”

Leon reached out and slowly began unbuckling the cuffs. “That might have been fun, but I suggest that you be good so you can be rewarded tomorrow instead of punished.”

“If that was punishment... I don’t want to know what you call a reward.” I rubbed my wrists as I sat up and slowly pulled my pants up. I exchanged another brief glance with Leon and was a little uncertain of how I should address him. He was clearly my caretaker at this point, someone to keep me on track, to make all of my decisions for me so I didn’t have to, so I could focus on my music.

“You better get off to bed now. Need a good night’s rest before all the work you’re going to do tomorrow.”

I nodded as I got to my feet. “Yes, Daddy,” I said quietly. I slowly made my way into the bedroom, my mind and body still reeling. I’ve never squirted before.