Chapter 3 #2
Grey’s eyes, which had been closed for the first part of the song, snapped open then. And they went right to me, once again, as if drawn by some invisible force. He always seemed to find me. And he continued to sing as the band hit the chorus:
“You’ve gotta know what you’re doing to me tonight.
You’ve gotta know that this is not all right.
You’ve gotta know what you do when you call me ‘babe.’
You’ve gotta know that I can’t stay away.”
The rest of the world fell away in that moment. His eyes never left mine as he sang those words, and I couldn’t see anything but him. Him singing about not being able to stay away, about knowing what someone was doing to him. It was as if I’d written the lyrics about him myself.
“Ready or not, here come the feelings I should lose.
Ticking like a clock, I’m going to wind up missing you.
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen your face,
But I know I’m ready to make more mistakes.
So ready or not, I’m going to fall back into you.”
He’s singing to me, right?
He was still looking at me. I felt something shift at my side, and the connection severed.
Looking down, I saw Piper and realized I’d completely forgotten about her existence.
But she wasn’t overly concerned with me.
She was mouthing the lyrics as Grey sang them.
Apparently, she’d been to a few Dreamscape concerts if she knew the words so well.
The next lyrics felt like a punch in the chest, and they pulled my attention back to Grey onstage. He wasn’t looking at me anymore, but his voice was distorted as he spoke.
“Oh, I already know
How this thing is gonna go.
I know my heart too well.
I know that it’s gonna hurt like hell.”
His eyes flitted to meet mine again as he said the last two lines.
“Oh damn, might as well, even though it’s gonna hurt like hell.
I want you, so might as well. Who cares if it’s gonna hurt like hell?”
He continued onto the chorus, looking away once he did, but the words hung around, stuck like glue in my head. I want you, so might as well. Who cares if it’s gonna hurt like hell?
“Are you okay?” Piper yelled into my ear and for good reason.
My palms were sweaty, my pulse pounding in my chest and ears. My breaths were short, shallow, panicked. I shook my head. “I need water.”
Shoving my way through the crowd toward the back of the bar, I made my retreat. I gasped for air, my heart racing faster and faster. It felt like it was about to explode in my chest.
What is going on with me?
I want you, so might as well. Who cares if it’s gonna hurt like hell? The lyrics echoed hauntingly in my mind.
I made it to the bartender and managed to ask for a cup of water, which he gave to me with worried eyes. I finished it in two gulps and motioned for a refill. By my third cup, I started to feel better.
What the hell was that?
Piper caught up to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Feeling better?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry. I guess I just got overheated.”
“You scared me for a second there.” She still looked worried. “Do you want to get out of here?”
Shaking my head, I forced a smile. “We’re having a good time. I feel better now.”
She looked skeptical but didn’t push it further.
“Come on.” I grabbed her hand.
She looked down at our intertwined fingers as if taken by surprise.
“Let’s get back out there.”
Thankfully, she let me lead her out onto the floor.
Dreamscape had moved on to another song.
Something about love being a game. The lyrics didn’t affect me the way the previous ones had.
And maybe more importantly, Grey didn’t look at me again as they played.
I don’t know if he couldn’t find me or if he was actively trying to not look at me.
Either way, I managed to enjoy the rest of the concert for what it was and without any more emergencies. I was beginning to wonder if I’d had a panic attack. But that didn’t make sense. I’d never had them before, and even if I had, I couldn’t rationalize anything to have panicked about.
I was still in the process of forcing the thoughts from my mind when the final song ended and Grey said good night to his audience. Everything was winding down, so Piper and I walked outside.
“This was fun,” she said, leaning against the building.
She’d placed a call for an Uber already, and I, of course, intended to wait for it with her.
“It was,” I agreed. “Minus the nearly passing out from heat exhaustion.”
Piper laughed. “It’s funny now, but I was really worried for a minute there.”
“Next time, I’ll have to bring a water bottle.”
Piper raised an eyebrow. “You’re so sure you’re getting a second date, are you?”
I blinked at her. “I mean, I just assumed—”
She put a finger to my lips to stop me before I could get too deep into the hole I’d found myself digging.
“I would love to go out with you again,” she said, and in one smooth motion, she gave me a peck on the cheek.
Blood rushed to my face, warming the spot where her lips had touched.
She looked past me. “There’s my ride.”
Lost for words, I walked her to the car and opened the door for her to climb in.
“Have a good night,” I said.
“Text me.” Piper closed the door, and the car drove off. I waited until they’d rounded a corner before turning and heading back inside.
I had questions for Grey, if he was still here.
Why did he sing that song to me? Because he had.
He’d been looking me right in the eyes when he sang the words.
What did it mean? Why did he seem to find me in any room I was in with him?
Why did my heart flounder in my chest at the thought of seeing him face-to-face again?
He had to have answers, or at the very least excuses for the things he was doing to me. As his song had said, he had to know what he was doing. Right? It wasn’t all in my head. Something was there.
I spotted Grey near the stage the moment I entered the bar.
He was surrounded by people, but mostly, they spoke to other members of the band.
I made a beeline for him. I was only a few feet away when a girl approached him from the side and threw her arms around him.
The next thing I knew, she was locking lips with him in a very sensual kiss.
My feet stopped moving, the soles of my shoes squeaking on the floor. Of course, he would have people throwing themselves at him. I ground my teeth in frustration, willing my body to move away from the situation, or at least look away.
Then Grey opened his eyes mid-kiss and looked at me.
I was insanely aware of how I looked—like some perv watching him make out with a girl. The realization was the jolt I needed to make my body work again. I had to get out of here, and now. So, I did the only logical thing I could think of. I ran for the exit.
I thought I heard someone call my name, but that couldn’t be right. Who would know it?
I ran, and I didn’t stop running until I got to my rental car. Leaning against it, panting, I let out a frustrated sigh. I had to have the worst luck in the world. And as I calmed down, I began to wish I hadn’t left, that I’d stayed and explained myself to Grey.
But I hadn’t stayed. I’d been a coward and ran.
I jumped at the sound of footsteps approaching and turned around. My heart leaped to my throat. It was Grey.
Walking up to me with his hands in his jacket pockets, he wore a bewildered expression. “Ethan?”
Words failed me. Yet again, I stood in front of Grey, looking stupid. How many times is this going to happen? “Grey,” I choked out.
His deep brown eyes leveled me. “Why did you run?”