Chapter 22 Grey’s Place
Grey’s Place
The walk up to Grey’s apartment was a quiet one. Things unsaid hung in the air between us, suffocating any attempts at conversation. I couldn’t fathom why he would want me to stay the night, not with the current state of things.
Maybe he thought we could pick things up where they’d left off before I’d brought up Carina, despite what he’d said.
The man tended to contradict himself at every turn.
Well, if he thought anything would happen before I got answers, he would soon realize that there was a fat chance of that happening.
A kinder, more charitable part of me noticed that Grey looked thoroughly miserable over the turn of events. Good, the mean part of me thought. Let him feel bad for how he made me feel. Ironically, I felt bad as soon as I thought it.
We walked up the stairs in complete silence. Why do I get the feeling that this will be a long-ass night in the worse possible way? Sleep felt a million miles away, and the night wasn’t exactly young. Even attempting to get into the mindset of rest seemed like a fruitless endeavor.
Grey showed me into his apartment, and it was only then that I realized I didn’t have the necessary equipment to spend the night anywhere. No toothbrush or pajamas or deodorant. Nothing. I opened my mouth to say that maybe I should Uber back to my place when Grey finally spoke.
“I have an extra toothbrush and a change of clothes. Give me one sec.” He disappeared into his bedroom.
Nice of him to shoot down my attempt to leave before I could even voice it. Two seconds later, he returned with folded clothes and a toothbrush still in the packaging.
I hated how pleading his eyes were, begging me to forgive him as he handed off the items. I hated it not because I thought it was pathetic—though on any other guy, I might think just that.
No, I hated the look because I wanted nothing more than to let him off the hook, to get back to laughing with him, and to keep kissing those lips that my eyes treacherously strayed to.
Maybe the mood wasn’t as dead as I’d thought.
“Thanks.” I turned on my heel and made a hasty retreat to the bathroom.
I brushed my teeth and quickly changed clothes but stayed behind to look at myself in the mirror.
The shirt he’d given me was an extra-large band T-shirt from some band I’d never heard of—beneath which my shorts showed only the thinnest slivers of fabric at my thighs.
My cheeks were still pink, though whether that was from kissing Grey or from the cold night we’d just walked in from was anyone’s guess.
Remembering the kiss I’d shared with Grey brought my fingers to my lips.
How many times have I fantasized about that moment only for it to be ruined by the specter of his fucking girlfriend?
Still, he’d been so much better than I could’ve guessed.
I simply hadn’t had the imagination for it until it had happened.
And now, with his phantom kisses still on my lips, I wanted it more than ever before.
I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.
I needed an explanation. I deserved that much.
And I deserved more than that Carina kept other girls from breaking into his apartment, so he would stay with her so no one thought they would have a chance with him.
Because that told me I didn’t have a chance with him, which clearly wasn’t one hundred percent accurate.
I was so damn tired of his hot-and-cold games. He would choose me, or I was gone. Yeah, I could demand that. Right?
With a groan, I pulled myself together and left the restroom. Grey waited patiently in the living room, sitting on the sofa. When he saw me, a small smile crossed his face, and he got to his feet.
“All done,” I said somewhat stiffly.
His eyes flicked down my body. I would be lying if I said some part of me didn’t enjoy the attention.
“I’ll get changed,” he said. “You can take the bed. I’ll stay out here.”
I shot him a please-be-serious look. “That’s dumb. Either I stay out here, or we can share the bed again.”
“Well, you’re not staying out here,” he said. “Dae might be home tonight, and he’s loud as hell when he’s sober.”
“Great. I’ll see you in the room.” I stormed off to his bedroom before he could argue further and climbed under the sheets.
That was a mistake. His sheets smelled like his cologne.
Memories of our kiss played out in my mind.
I tried to center myself in the present moment with deep breathing, but the effort was useless as Grey’s scent filled my nostrils and sent chills down my spine.
Desire bloomed in my stomach and twisted its way up to my heart and down to my groin, where I began to harden.
I tore off the sheets and sat up, hoping to clear my head enough to make it to the living room. I couldn’t stay in here. Not tonight. Not when those memories were so fresh.
I’d hardly swung my foot over the side of the bed when Grey appeared in the doorway.
“You okay?” His voice still sounded off. Sad.
“I can’t sleep in here,” I said.
“Why not?”
“It’s just too much, okay?” It came out more frantic than I’d wanted it to, but my heart was still racing, and my body ached from being in Grey’s bed. Why had I thought this was a good idea?
“I’ll sleep in the living room if my presence is too much.” His face was hidden in shadow, but I could imagine it had fallen as he’d said it.
“It’s not just your physical presence,” I said crisply, wishing I could explain the issue without it sounding like: Hey, bro, the smell of you is turning me on, and I’d really like to not be horny all night so I can be appropriately mad at you until you tell me what the hell is going on. I cringed at the mere thought.
He shifted on his feet but thankfully didn’t move any closer. He was clearly at a loss as to what he should do.
“These sheets,” I said slowly. “They remind me too much of you. And then I can’t help but think about that kiss.
” The kiss that literally just happened.
God, that had been good. No. I had to focus.
“And I need to be good,” I finished. Well, that had been a clunky-ass mess of a statement, but hopefully, I’d gotten the general gist across to him.
“What do you mean by ‘be good’?” Grey asked.
“Do you really need me to spell it out for you?” I said then immediately thought, Please say no.
Grey gave me a wry smile. “Preferably.”
I couldn’t tell if he was trying to flirt, or if he genuinely wanted me to clarify what I meant. I sighed. “I can’t sleep with you tonight.”
“Oh.”
The word hung in the air. The silence that followed seemed to echo all around us, throwing tension into the air until the room was thick with it.
“Yeah.” I shrugged, hoping the movement would relieve some of the tension.
It didn’t. I could feel it twisting in my gut, making it hard to breathe.
I’d been so convinced that our spat earlier had ruined any chance at temptation.
I should’ve known better. Temptation was a pesky thing that popped up at the most stupid, inconvenient times. Times like now.
“And being… good… that’s what we should do.” Grey took three careful steps into the room, like someone trying not to spook a wild animal.
“Most people view being good as a virtue,” I pointed out. Will I ever be able to breathe normally again? It didn’t feel like it.
“They do.” Three more steps. He was within arm’s reach.
“I usually do as well.”
“Me too.” He extended a hand to touch my face.
I pressed my cheek into his palm, closing my eyes, enjoying the chills and electricity that vibrated from my skin to the pit of my stomach.
“Good.” I peered up at him.
He looked like an angel or a god reaching down for me from heaven.
“Good.”
He leaned down, pressing his forehead to mine, and we hesitated there. Our lips were far enough apart that it would take intention to close the distance. Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, my better judgment screamed at me to stop.
“Good.”
I caved in. Fuck principles. Fuck my frustration. Fuck reason. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I grabbed the back of his head and brought his lips to mine. He let out a soft gasp as we collided, then he followed me down as I fell back onto the bed.
Grey had one arm at the small of my back as he positioned himself lithely on top of me. Only then did his lips break from mine. “So being good is—”
“Fuck being good,” I said in a rush, grabbing his face and kissing him again.
We were right where we’d left off in the stairwell of that apartment. Grey’s teeth bit my lip. I gasped into him. He deepened the kiss, our tongues toying with each other. Then his mouth left mine.
I was briefly saddened by its absence until I felt his lips on my neck, and my body reacted like it’d been hit by lightning.
Every cell was alive and begging to fuse with him.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, crushing his body into mine.
It wasn’t enough. I began to wonder if anything would be.
Grey’s lips returned to mine. His hand trailed down my side to the hem of my shirt and slid underneath, his thumb caressing my side as he made his way back up.
He brushed my ribs one by one as if counting them then made his way to my chest. He only lingered there for a moment before his hand wrapped around my side, pulling me into a seated position with his legs straddling me.
Our lips parted, and we stared at each other for one panting moment before his other hand reached down and pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it off the side of the bed. His eyes glistened darkly. I recognized the look of desire there. I was sure my eyes held that look too.