Chapter Eighteen
Caesar
Dad has given me until Wednesday to process what I learned at Blackridge before reporting to the board, and I spend two whole days trying to untangle my thoughts while quietly fuming at the world.
I can’t concentrate on anything. Meetings bore me. Figures blur. Reports drone on. I’m useless at the company, and I’m angry because of it.
They say that when a person loses their sight, their other senses become enhanced to compensate.
A similar thing happens to me. I lose the ability to see clearly, and instead all I can think about is Maddie.
The aroma of her perfume and the scent of her body.
How soft her skin was beneath my fingers, and the silky texture of her white hair.
Her delightful giggles and the sounds she made when she came.
The sweet, sweet taste of her on my tongue.
I had her, and now I’ve lost her. And I’m mad about it.
Not with her, particularly. It’s not her fault she’s a Rutherford.
I want to believe her text to Tom was innocent, and that she genuinely liked me.
But I feel a cold hatred toward her grandfather, and I can’t shake the feeling that he would do anything to manipulate me into agreeing to a partnership, even if it meant sending his granddaughter to seduce me.
What also infuriated me was that it worked. Am I really that predictable?
I stay late at the office on both days, trying to make up for the lack of work I did during the day, then go to the gym in my apartment building and spend an hour putting myself through a punishing cardio-and-weights routine.
It doesn’t help. I lie awake at night, staring up at the ceiling, remembering how it felt to be inside her, the softness of her mouth, and longing to be with her again.
By the time Wednesday comes, my eyes feel scratchy in their sockets and I still don’t know what I’m going to say to the board.
I’ve stared at the sheet of figures Maddie gave me for hours.
I know her program is revolutionary, and that I have to think of the big picture.
We could achieve miracles if we were to combine our systems. It really would be the first step toward feeding the world.
But it means opening the doors to Tom Rutherford. And the thought just crushes me.
Ten a.m. approaches and, somewhat sourly, I collect my laptop and make my way out of my office.
In the center of this floor, by the elevators, is a reception with a waiting area. As I pass through it, I spot Luke Grayson sitting there, his feet propped on a chair, reading on his phone while he sips from a takeaway coffee cup.
Luke is Aurelia’s bodyguard. He’s an old school friend of Marcus’s, six-four and built like a brick shithouse, as my grandfather used to say. He also knows something Aurelia doesn’t—that she has a stalker.
She’s the public face of our company, and because of that, Dad has had her post opened and her emails quietly monitored since she took up the role.
When the inappropriate messages were discovered, he took Marcus and I to one side and told us that he didn’t want her to know because he thought it would frighten her and inhibit her natural exuberance and joie de vivre that we all love so much.
Marcus and I disagreed and thought she should be told, but Dad said Mum agreed with him, and in the end we deferred to him, because we did understand his point of view. Dad then told us he wanted to increase her security detail, and he was giving her a personal bodyguard.
It didn’t go down well with Aurelia. Furious that Dad thought she needed protection when neither Marcus nor I had a bodyguard, she tried every trick in the book to give hers the slip. Eventually the guy complained that it was pointless him doing the job if she was so intent on avoiding him.
It was Marcus who put Luke forward as an alternative.
Luke is ex-military—a sniper who served with the New Zealand Defence Force alongside allied forces in Afghanistan, trained to protect people from a distance.
But during an ambush, in which he was too far away to help his teammates, he had to watch them die through his scope, and he turned to security detail because it enables him to be close to the people he has to protect.
As the baby of the family, Aurelia has learned how to wind everyone around her finger, but Marcus is adept at spotting her techniques now, and he was able to inform Luke of all her sneaky little tricks.
As a result, somewhat amusingly to the rest of us, Luke has proven immune to her charms and is usually glued to her side despite her best attempts to avoid him.
While she’s in the board meeting, he’ll consider her relatively safe, although he’s always on duty.
He’s sitting with his back against the wall, so he has a good view of all the exits in the room.
As I approach and he looks up, he checks my hands before my face, then glances around the room before he finally nods at me.
“Morning,” I say, slowing.
“Morning.”
“All quiet on the western front?”
“Yep.” His tone is clipped, though, irritated.
“She giving you the run around again?” I ask, trying not to smile.
He gives me an exasperated look. “As always.”
“Is that why you’re out here?” I tease. “Chicken.”
“It’s self-preservation,” he mutters mysteriously.
I presume he’s referring to the fact that when she’s pissed off, he’s going to be in the firing line. “Well, you’re a sniper. You could probably keep her safe all the way from Dunedin,” I joke.
“Distance doesn’t stop damage,” he says wryly. “Trust me.”
“True.” My lips twist and I walk on, thinking how right he is where Maddie’s concerned.
I meet Marcus coming down another corridor, also heading for the boardroom. He’s busy texting, but he gives me a “’sup” chin raise before returning his gaze to his phone.
“Leave her alone,” I tell him, trying to sound amused rather than jealous. “The poor girl must be sick of you messaging her all the time.”
“I’m just telling her I’ll be there for her scan this afternoon,” he says. “I’m hoping the board meeting won’t go past lunch.”
“Yeah, me too.” Ahead of us, the glass walls of the boardroom reveal that the three board members, Aurelia, and Dad are already there. I drag my gaze back to my brother and smile. I’m genuinely pleased for him. “Are you excited?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. It’s not every day you get to meet your baby for the first time.
” He presses send, slides his phone into his pocket, and then slows and gestures with his head.
I follow him to a nook by the toilets, where Maddie fled when she came to the meeting here.
I feel a flare of exasperation. Can’t I have a second where she doesn’t enter my thoughts?
Marcus turns to face me and looks me in the eye. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
“Really?” He gives me a look that says, I know you better than that. “I didn’t want to push you to talk about it. But I thought you might have come and seen me.”
“What are we, fourteen?” I’m irritated that he’s married with a kid on the way, handing out advice like the older brother. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
His eyebrows rise. “Her?”
With a jolt, I realize he was talking about the company. Fuck.
He stares at me. “Oh no.”
I blow out a breath. “It’s not what you think.”
“You mean you didn’t sleep with Tom Rutherford’s granddaughter?”
I scratch my cheek. “Okay, it is what you think.”
“Jesus Christ, Caesar…”
I run my hand through my hair. “It just happened.”
“By accident?”
“No, I mean… it wasn’t planned.”
“By you, maybe.” He’s not amused. He’s alarmed. “Where did you stay, exactly? In Queenstown?”
“No, at Blackridge Station.”
“At Blackridge? Where?”
“In a… um… cottage.”
Now he looks wary. “What kind of cottage?”
“A… uh… shepherd’s cottage…”
“Please tell me that’s the name of a very exclusive and luxurious hotel.”
“Er…”
“Fuck me, Caesar! You stayed in a cottage alone with her? Christ.” Someone walks past, and he stops talking and waits until they’re gone. “You’re fucking lucky she’s not crying rape,” he snaps eventually.
I glare at him. “She’s not like that.” Except the thought had crossed my mind how vulnerable I’ve made not just myself but the whole company. If she wanted to turn on me, to accuse me of seducing her, or worse, I wouldn’t have a chance of fighting it.
He frowns. “This is why you’ve been quiet? I assumed it was because you’ve been deciding what position to take.”
I look down the corridor at the boardroom. Dad’s glancing at his watch. “That’s also on my mind.”
He studies me, his brown eyes filled with concern, not anger. “Bro… you know Tom sent her to soften you up, right?”
I study my shoes. “Yeah.”
“Tom is capable of doing anything to get what he wants.”
“Jesus, I know! Why do you think I’ve been in such a mess since I got back?”
His frown lifts then. “All right,” he says softly. He gives me a strange look. “You really like her, don’t you?”
“What makes you say that?”
“I can’t imagine anyone else cutting through your cynicism like this. You want to believe she’s genuine.”
I stuff the laptop up under my arm and shove my hands in my trouser pockets. “I liked her. She’s warm and funny. And she’s so smart, Marcus.” I look at him earnestly. “The soil restoration program she’s worked on is incredible.”
“You go in there and tell Dad that, you know what’s going to happen. He’ll sign the agreement with Tom, and Rutherfords will have a foot in the door. Is that really what you want?”
“Of course not.”
“Then you have to forget about her.”
“That’s not what this is about!” Frustration makes me raise my voice. “Combined with ours, her system would be groundbreaking. Shouldn’t we look past our personal issues and think about that?”
He pauses and surveys me steadily. Then he says softly, “You just need to make sure you’re thinking with your head, that’s all.”
“Christ, why does everyone seem to assume I think with my dick?”
“I meant as opposed to your heart.”
“Oh.”