Chapter One #4
Michael could say that curiosity had the best of him. A part of him wanted to go to the jet, but a part wanted to see what this was all about. Gabby and Finn had worked on part of the mystery at the castle—or so Ian had mentioned—and he knew they had to be acquainted with Graham.
This might get him some information.
“Oh, I could use a drink.”
Gabby touched his arm.
“We should get one then. We know a pub. Do you want to go by Michael or D’Artangnan?” she asked, not sure what to call him now.
She’d always just assumed his name was Michael. That was a pretty common name, even if he was an Archangel.
He laughed.
“D’Artangnan died a long time ago, Gabs. Please call me Michael. That hurts a lot less.”
She tucked her arm into his, and Finn was curious about the man. He could see the pain in his eyes, and to be honest, he was worried.
About both men.
Only, Graham wasn’t answering his phone.
It had been a peaceful night when he and his woman had been at their cottage, having dinner. That’s when Gabby got a call from Elizabeth. It had been an intervention call.
As in this man needed one.
So, they rushed right over to do what they could. Tomorrow, he’d check on Graham—first thing in the morning.
Oh, and he was more than a little curious about this guy. This was the man who Graham, his best friend, had been pining over since they broke up.
Curiosity killed the inspector.
“Let’s go get some booze,” she said, only for her handsome fiancé to correct her.
“You’re not drinking with a baby on board, Mo ghràdh. I haven’t lost my mind quite yet. You can have tea, and as much as you’d like.”
She snorted.
Gabby was well aware of that.
She shared.
“I was in the mood for some chips. I’ll be the designated walker after you two have a few.”
That worked for Finn.
Michael went along because he didn’t want to be alone at that moment. In fact, he wasn’t sure it was a good idea for him to be around people.
Inside, he was a storm.
A tumultuous one.
But he needed answers, and he was pretty sure that Gabby would spill the deets.
“I could use a few beers. It’s been a day,” he admitted, knowing it likely wasn’t getting better anytime soon.
As they began walking toward the pub, Gabby knew she had to help Elizabeth set this right.
When her friend called, crying, she knew that this was a ‘boots on the ground’ kind of a mission with the Marine.
And she owed her a favor or ten.
So, it was time to pay them back as she helped a lost Marine get back on track.
For his, and Graham’s sake.
* * * The Ravensmire Castle * * *
The Castle
Same Time
As D’Artangnan’s
Escape
From the doorway, he watched as the man he once called his own hightailed it out of there like he was racing to escape Hell.
And he didn’t blame him.
Not.
At.
All.
This was a lot to deal with, and Graham knew that he was the cause of all of this. He’d created this mess years ago, and now, he had his answer.
D’Artangnan was alive and okay.
Only, he wasn’t.
In that moment, the demons came back—they were the ones that he’d been fighting for the last few weeks.
Up to ten minutes ago, he’d been winning the battle against them.
Now…
Not.
So.
Much.
What he wanted to do was go after the man, but what he knew he should do was just let him go.
Like the coward he was.
He’d gotten his answer as to what the man had been doing, and it was hating him for what he’d done to them seven years ago.
Yeah, there was no way D’Artangnan would ever forgive him for what he’d done.
His race to escape said it all.
In his mind, he had this fantasy that they’d cross paths again, and he’d race to him so they could hold each other. In that fantasy, they’d kiss, and it would be like nothing had broken them apart.
It was stupid.
It was also never happening.
That last hope was gone.
The look on the man’s face said he wasn’t going to come back there either to talk to him.
For Graham, he was in a freefall, and hopelessly spiraling out of control.
He needed a drink.
A BIG ONE.
Graham thought he could do this, but he couldn’t keep doing battle. There was no way he was going to be able to keep going. His heart was too heavy, and he was broken by seeing D’artangnan Graves.
The only love of his life.
What he needed was to sink into the booze, so he’d stop feeling anything. That would be his escape from the pain and suffering.
He’d drink himself to death.
Heading into the garage, he found his way to his little apartment that the caretaker of the estate would call home, and headed inside.
The place was small, but it was neat and orderly. It was cozy, and not unlike the tiny little apartment they’d once shared off base when they were serving.
What it lacked in space, it had in character.
At the bookshelf, he found the one thing he was looking for, and picked it up. Honestly, he only opened it once a year, and with good reason.
It hurt to do it.
Carrying it back out, he headed for the kitchen and placed the precious box on the counter.
What was in it?
The truth.
Lifting the lid, he stared into the box at the truth of the last years that he’d spent alone, and each moment that he’d missed with the only man who ever made him feel like he mattered.
Inside, he saw the few treasures he had in life. Now, it was time to pass them on. Reaching inside, he only removed one thing.
It was the last thing his lover had given him, and it was his only symbol from him of their love.
“I love you, D’Artangnan. I’ve never stopped loving you, and now, I have to be free of this burden. I can’t survive any longer. I know where you are, and that you survived. I’m sorry for my sins. I hope that one day, you’ll forgive me.”
That said it all.
He was officially empty, and there was NO fight left in him.
NONE.
Closing the lid of the box, he went to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle.
Then, he headed out of the kitchen and into the courtyard behind the castle.
It was official…
Graham was done.
It was clear that D’Artangnan was okay, and that was all he needed to know. Now, he could just go quietly into the night, and he’d be able to come to grips with the pain he’d caused.
Because seeing the man…
Showed him that he’d never been worthy of his love.
Ever.