Chapter Four #2
“Why didn’t you just come with me?” he whispered. “We could have had it all. We had so much love between us. I would have taken care of you until the day I died. You were my person.”
Of course, there was no reply back.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t a question that Michael desperately wished he could answer.
It plagued him.
To.
This.
Day.
With featherlight fingers, he brushed some of the hair from the sleeping man’s face, and sighed.
“Graham, M'eudail,” he whispered, remembering the one word that his lover called him.
He was his darling then, and now…
He wasn’t sure what he was.
Maybe he was in a freefall.
Or maybe he was in a spiral.
But coming back here had opened the door to so many emotions that he couldn’t rationalize. Graham had hurt him, but here he was, being gentle with a man who decimated his world for so many years.
With so much that had happened between them, the time and distance hurt his heart.
Beyond.
Repair.
But was it that bad?
He wasn’t sure.
When Michael whispered those words, of his darling in Scottish, the man whimpered like he was in pain.
He moved.
No, he curled up, putting himself in the fetal position in his sleep to protect himself from the war that was raging in his mind.
He was shaking, and Michael covered him with the duvet, so he wouldn’t be cold.
The last thing he wanted was for the man to be chilled and broken.
Both of which he understood.
When he’d left their shit apartment, he’d left everything behind.
His clothes.
His books.
His world.
Instead, he went back to his CO’s office, and asked to head to the States early. He didn’t need to pack, or get ready for his new assignment.
Yeah, he ran.
Far.
And.
Fast.
It wasn’t like he had anything to stay for, and he hadn’t given Graham the opportunity to find him and make it right.
He made it difficult to find him.
After all, Archangels got erased. When they went into the service for the government, their identities were wiped.
Why?
So they couldn’t be bribed and used to harm their assignments. You couldn’t bribe a Marine when he had NOTHING to his name.
Since he didn’t exist.
He was curious if Graham had even worried about him, or tried to look.
Oh, well.
It didn’t matter.
That boat had sailed.
For all of the years apart, Michael had been chasing his own demons. All that he wanted was for someone to save him. After all, he’d been sinking in the mire too.
He’d been dying from the heartbreak. That day, he’d lost his best friend, his backup, and the love of his life.
But no one had ever saved him.
No one had ever jumped in and pulled him back from the brink.
No one.
It was exhausting always being the savior, and never the saved person.
Truthfully.
Because he figured he wouldn’t remember this, Michael was honest.
“I wish you would have come after me,” he said. “I wish you would have thought about me. I can’t be sure you ever did, Graham. I can’t trust my heart to another man who will break me. I’m done being hurt when all I’m doing is trying to hold onto love.”
The man didn’t move from his fetal position.
And that said it all.
What wouldn’t he have given if Graham raced to the base and stopped him from getting on that transport back to the US?
He would have given all.
Getting up, he turned down the lights, and placed a wastepaper basket by the side of the bed in case Graham woke and was sick.
Then, he headed out, leaving the man alone.
What he needed to get over this was the priority now in his life.
Time.
And.
Space.
Once back in the kitchen, he found Finn sitting there, waiting for him.
The man was parked at the island, and Gabby was nowhere to be found.
“Uh, are we missing someone? What happened to Gabs? Did she run away?”
Finn was honest.
The second Graham was carried upstairs, he sent his fiancée the hell out to the car.
This place…
It had been a nightmare for him.
“I don’t like her here at night. This place targeted her for the time she was here. This place has something evil in it, and that’s problematic.”
Honestly, Michael knew evil.
He saw it daily through Elizabeth, and he’d fought wars where they came face to face with it.
This place felt…calm.
He wasn’t sure if he was exaggerating or not. Could a building be evil?
It wasn’t like it was alive.
Michael shrugged.
“Well, the two dead dudes helped me, and they didn’t hurt me, so I’m not sure I get that vibe from the place,” he admitted.
Finn snorted.
Oh, well, it was only a matter of time.
They’d learned that here.
“Give it time, Lad. Once they start construction…it’s anyone’s game.”
He was confused.
“Construction?”
Finn clued him in.
“Tomorrow, they are coming to open the wall in the crypt. Tony found it to be suspicious, and Graham just got all of the permits and paperwork done from the village. Once they open it, the whole place is going to get wonky. Trust on that,” he stated.
If the man said so.
This wasn’t his thing, so what did he know?
Maybe it was a Scottish thing.
“Well, Graham should be okay tomorrow once he sobers up. Maybe we should have someone come see him,” Michael admitted. “He did try to take his life. Maybe we should call someone and have him admitted. He’s a danger to himself.”
Oh, Finn knew why.
This.
Man.
The ghost of Graham’s past surprised the shit out of him, and everyone else.
He and Gabby had been caught off guard to find out that Saint Michael, as he was called, was D’Artangnan Graves, Graham’s long-lost love.
That had to be a punch in the balls.
Oh, he understood why Graham had bottomed out.
“I’ll show up here tomorrow morning, or Gabby will. Just keep an eye on him tonight.”
The man looked pained.
“What?” Finn asked.
“I wasn’t planning on staying. I was planning on going back to the jet to go home. Me being here is a bad idea. Look what it did.”
Oh, well, there was a good reason for that.
Graham had been focused on one person for seven years, and that person showed up.
“There’s no doubt that seeing you, after all these years of thinking about you, put him over the edge. Leaving again won’t help. Maybe you should both talk it out, and then, do what you need to do. Just don’t hurt him.”
Michael laughed.
“My dude, he tried to end his life. I didn’t let him. That’s about as far from ‘hurt him’ as I can get. Had it not been for the ghosts helping me out…”
Finn lifted a brow.
“The ghosts?”
Oh, he knew they likely led him to the man, like they’d done for them, and for Ian and Gryphen to Ceit’s grave, but help?
What kind of help?
Michael saw the questioning look on his face.
He was honest.
“He fought me to let go of his wrist. I was just shot in this shoulder not that long ago. I don’t have all my strength back, and I likely never will. They helped me hoist him out of the abyss. I could feel them there.”
Yeah, and that was why he didn’t want Gabby here. Someone tried to possess her, so she took a header from the tower.
Once burned.
Twice panicked.
That was his motto.
Instead of going there, Finn got up, poured them both some scotch from a new bottle, and handed him a glass. It sounded like they both needed it.
They clinked them off of each other.
“When he was dangling, something helped pull him up. The dead led me to him too. I found him because of two male apparitions in hoods and capes. The ones we all saw.”
Oh, well, Finn knew who they were.
Without.
A.
Doubt.
It looked as if the original castle inhabitants were back at it again.
Only, what for now?
Was it the bones in the lake?
Or was it the mystery that surrounded everything else?
Only time would tell.
Finn shared what he could.
“That would be Duncan and Ciarán. They were lovers, and lived here. The two men fought in battle together.”
Well, that sounded like him and Graham.
They’d been just like that on the battlefield.
Finn continued.
“They came back here under the guise that they were just friends. Duncan’s wife supposedly killed herself before their return, but we found out that was a lie.”
The place got chilly around them the second he began discussing that.
Oh, boy.
Again, this was why Gabby was outside and safe.
Finn continued.
“She was killed, and Gabby and I were working on figuring that out. Right after, though, we shut it down because it got wild here. Something was trying to kill her in the lake. She fell through and it tried to drown her.”
What the hell?
Was he kidding?
That sounded like fiction more than fact.
That had to be bullshit.
There was no way some ghost in the water was going to pull someone down.
There had to be a logical explanation.
Maybe because that during this time of the year, the water would have been cold. The brain did weird things when it was deprived of oxygen in cold water.
He knew that personally.
“Well, I have to go find bones in that lake tomorrow,” he stated.
Finn was aware, but he warned him.
The last thing he wanted was a body retrieval from the grounds lake.
“Don’t do it alone. That’s dangerous, and can get you killed. At least wait until Graham is up, or we’re here.”
Well, that wouldn’t work for him.
He was going to get the bones, and get the hell out of here. If him being here made Graham suicidal, he needed to go. That was the last thing he wanted on his conscious.
PERIOD.
He’d bend and stay here to babysit tonight, but he didn’t want to face the man while he was awake.
He was scared too.
His past with him was already difficult enough. The last thing he wanted was to make it worse for both of them. He’d moved on, and he hoped Graham had too.
While it didn’t sound like it, he couldn’t take the words of a drunk man to heart.
Finn was honest with the man.
“If you’re curious, there’s a book in the library that you can read to catch up with what we’ve figured out is going on so far.”
Yeah, he might be curious about a lot of things in his life, but mysteries…not his thing.
Unless it was the mystery of what he was going to make for dinner, or what boots he was wearing to work.
He was a simple man.