Chapter Fifteen #3
She had Tori and Julian, but at that moment, they were up to their eyeballs in Oracle.
That was a no from her.
“I can’t help there.”
Well, then, their options were limited. Now, weren’t they?
“That’s the whole story. Gabby wasn’t feeling well, so she and Finn are heading to the doctor.”
She lifted a brow.
“Not feeling well? I hope not possessed. That would be the icing on this haunted funfest.”
He shook his head.
Ian clued her in.
“She has cramps, and Finn was worried.”
Ruh-roh.
That wasn’t good.
Her eyes got huge.
“What?” Ian asked. “What did I just say that made you look worried?”
Elizabeth shared.
“She’s early on in her pregnancy. A lot of them end in miscarriage at that time. Cramping can signal bad things happening with a pregnancy. I don’t want her running around. When you see her, make her get off her feet.”
Oh, now, they would.
Or Finn would.
Her ghostbusting days were over.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Gryphen asked her. “You just heard it all, and you’re not bright red.”
She was to the point.
“Not telling me is always worse. I don’t like to be blindsided.
You told me, and I understand the situation.
You’re working a case, of sorts, and you checked in.
I’m good. I mean, I want that all settled down before I get pulled into it, but yeah, I’m not worked up anymore. I have a Halloween wedding to plan.”
Ian was grateful.
“Even after I told you, you’re still planning our wedding?”
She smiled.
“I wouldn’t miss this opportunity. I’m thinking Carrie meets the Adam’s family,” she joked.
Ian stared with his mouth open.
“Oh, shit. She loves Halloween. I fucked up,” he admitted.
That made her laugh.
“Yeah, you did. Oh, well,” she said. “Too late now. No takebacksies. I’m going to make that castle one hell of a haunted Halloween spectacle. Bet on it.”
That amused Gryphen.
Why?
He knew how she did Halloween, and Ian was going to get an entertaining wedding.
He could be sure of that.
“Well, then, we’re all on the same page. We get a closer wedding date, and you get the info on the castle. No killing the men,” Gryphen warned.
She shook her head.
“I promised. I’m calmer. The fact that Ceit went peacefully into the night gives me hope that you guys can de-escalate the situation for us. I appreciate it.”
And there it was.
Elizabeth the conundrum.
One never knew how she’d react.
This was the proof.
“So, we’re good?” Ian asked.
She nodded.
“We’re good. If you need help, or MATE, to research, you can use her. I don’t mind.”
That was all he had to hear. It was time to be calm. They had backup.
Ian blew her a kiss.
“Love you, Crazy Train. We’ll get it handled. I promise.”
She snorted.
“Back at you, pain in my ass.”
With that, she ended the call, and the two men were sitting in silence.
“She’s going to kill them,” Ian said.
Gryphen nodded.
“She’s absolutely going to kill them. We’re never seeing Callen or Chris again. Their asses are grass. For sure. Only, she’ll play with them at first, making sure to torment the hell out of them before she makes the kill.”
Without.
A.
Doubt.
To celebrate, they both clinked their pint glasses off of each other, and finished lunch.
They had a date with a psychic.
Scotland was odd.
And oddly, they liked it that way.
* * * The Ravensmire Castle * * *
Across The Village
Square
OBGYN Office
Same Time
When the doctor came back in, he was holding the bloodwork results, and he didn’t look happy.
Immediately, Finn braced himself. He had a feeling that this was going to rock them to their core.
Call it a hunch.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” he asked.
The man sat down.
Then, he broke the bad news.
“Her hormone levels are dropping. That’s an active signal that she’s about to miscarry.”
As soon as he said it, Gabby sat there, tears in her eyes.
Protectively, Finn put his arm around her, and kissed her on the temple.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Finn needed to know.
“What can we do to stop it?” he asked. “What can we do to save the baby?”
The doctor took both of their hands in his and tried to help them through this.
“Lad and Lass, there’s nothing we can do. The body does this when it figures out that the pregnancy won’t survive full-term. It’s the body’s way of protecting the mother and health of the growing child. Nothing caused this but biology.”
At his words, tears slipped down Gabby’s cheeks.
“The good news is that this happened early. You both can keep trying, and have another chance sooner rather than later.”
Gabby whimpered, and Finn held her against his body. She buried her face into his neck, and held his fiancée as she broke down.
He was devastated.
For him.
For her.
For everyone.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Stay in here as long as you need. I’ll have the nurse check on you,” he offered.
When he got up and left, Finn went to say something, and Gabby began apologizing.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
He stopped her.
“Lass, you didn’t cause this. You heard what he said. Biology did. You aren’t at fault. Your body knew something wasn’t right. I’m not upset with you. I’m saddened that you and I won’t meet this little one. Only, I know there will be more.”
She sobbed and he held her.
Gabby went through the storm, and it wasn’t pretty. She had prayed and hoped so hard for this to finally work out for her, and again, it didn’t.
This hurt.
She wanted this baby so badly. She wanted to be a mom more than anything in the whole world.
So, this crushed her.
“It’s okay, Mo ghràdh. It’s okay,” he whispered, reassuring her.
When Gabby’s phone chimed, he pulled it from her back pocket so she didn’t have to be bothered. When he saw the name, he handed it to her.
On her phone, there was a message.
‘I’m lighting a candle for you, and praying. Call me if you need me. I love you. Elizabeth.’
Seeing that, Gabby cried even harder.
She didn’t know how Elizabeth knew, but she did need her. What she needed now was someone to tell her that she wasn’t a failure.
Because all Finn wanted was a family, and she lost their baby.
“Call her,” he said. “She has children. Elizabeth understands this better than I do.”
She couldn’t do it.
She was crying too much.
Knowing he needed to help his woman, and get her through this, he called Elizabeth. He knew the woman loved Gabby, and he needed backup.
His sisters had had a few miscarriages, and then they had perfect babies afterward.
This wasn’t the end.
When Elizabeth’s face came on the screen, she knew immediately. A sobbing Gabby with a freaked-out Finn told her the tale.
She could read a room.
“What do you need?” she asked. “Tell me, and I’ll make it happen. What can I do for you?”
Finn shared.
“We don’t know. The doctor said the hormone levels are dropping, and she’s cramping. He said it’s a miscarriage.”
Elizabeth hated hearing that.
“Gabs, it’ll be okay,” she said.
Gabby was taking this hard.
“It won’t be. What if it’s me? What if I’m the reason we’re having a miscarriage? What if I can’t get pregnant?”
She understood the freakout.
Only, this was just the first time she tried to get pregnant with Finn.
“Can I have a moment with her?” Elizabeth asked. “We’re going to talk women things.”
He looked at his fiancée.
“Do you want me to stay or go?”
She was honest.
“I’ll be okay. Elizabeth will talk me down,” she offered.
Well, then, in that case, he’d go call his sisters. They’d talk him down, because he was devastated. He wanted children in the worst way.
When he left the room, Gabby held the phone.
“This isn’t your first miscarriage, is it?” Elizabeth asked.
She shook her head.
Yeah, she suspected. While miscarriages were horrible, Gabby was beyond distraught.
This was the kind of breakdown a woman would have a few miscarriages in.
“I had three with my ex. I think it’s me, Elizabeth. I think it’s my body. What if I can’t have kids? Finn wants a big family. What if I can’t give him that?” she asked.
She stopped her from blaming herself.
“Let me tell you a story,” she said.
Gabby wiped her eyes and listened.
“Once upon a time, there was a young Elizabeth LaRue. She worked for the FBI, and was this fresh-faced hopeful young woman.”
She listened.
“She was with the FBI for more than a handful of years, and she got pregnant. She and her boyfriend at the time found out she was having a child.”
She blinked.
“Who was the boyfriend?”
This was a story she and Chris never spoke of, and it had been a hard pill for both of them. It had been the one time they’d made a life together, and lost it at the same time.
“It was Chris’ child,” she admitted. “I worked a case, and I lost the baby. I blamed myself for a long time. Then, when time was right, I started having kids. Look at my brood.”
She wiped her eyes.
“What if I can’t, though?”
Elizabeth was honest.
“There are babies and little ones who need homes. Addison isn’t of my body, but she’s my daughter.
Then, there’s Daniel. There’s Willa, and Bethe.
There’s Dolly, and there’s Takoda. I love them so much, and I had no part in their conception or birth.
That doesn’t make them unloved or not mine. There are ways, Gabby.”
She began calming down.
Elizabeth was to the point.
“First, breathe, and don’t blame yourself.
Mothers go through more than anyone in the world, and you were just a mother.
That little angel will always be yours. I think about the child I lost a lot.
I know Chris does. That was our only chance at a biological child together, and we both wonder what would have happened had the child been born. ”
She let Elizabeth soothe her.
“You will have babies one way or another. Yeah, a stork might actually drop one off in a car, or you might get on a plane to go pick one up. Being a mother isn’t about the labor of birth.
It’s about the labor after. You can’t tell me that your handsome man wouldn’t adopt twenty kids in a heartbeat. ”
She had a point.
“You’ve told me how he is with his nephews and nieces. Trust in that with Finn. He needs to know your worries so he can help walk with you through them. Don’t keep secrets. Look at Michael and Graham.”
Yowza.
That hit the bullseye.
“Trust in Finn. He loves you.”
She was about to say something when the door opened, and Finn came back in. It was clear he had been crying. It was clear that he’d been mourning.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
Elizabeth took control.
“I’ll do it for you. Finn?”
He came into view.
“Yes?”
“I need you to sit down.”
Oh, Jesus.
He’d just told Catherine, his sister, and she was rallying the family to help him, and Gabby, get through this. Now, he felt like he was getting ready for the second gut punch.
He felt it coming.
“What?” he asked.
Elizabeth told him.
“Gabby has had miscarriages before with her first husband. She’s afraid you’ll leave her if you find out.”
He gasped.
“Leave her?” he asked, horrified. “I’ll never leave her. She’s my woman. We’re going to get married. I love her, and I’ll never not love her. This isn’t her fault!”
Elizabeth let him soothe her.
“And if she can’t have kids?” she asked.
He didn’t flinch.
“Well, there’s so many little wee ones who need parents. We’ll adopt a bunch of babies, and carry on. I want a life with you, Gabs. I don’t care how we get to be a family. Just that we do.”
She hugged him, and he ran his hand up and down her back to soothe her. In his other hand, he held the phone.
Thank you, he mouthed.
She blew him a kiss, and disconnected the call.
When he put the phone down, he lifted her chin to stare into her eyes.
“You could have told me. I wouldn’t be upset.”
She was honest.
“I didn’t want you to hate me. That’s part of the reason he hated me. I’m defective.”
He stopped that.
Then.
And.
There.
“Gabs, you’re not defective. You’re perfect.
Not all people get to have babies the old-fashioned way.
That doesn’t mean we can’t take a different path, Lass.
There are surrogates. There’s adoption. We’ll always have a path.
Don’t give up on me, Gabby. Please. We’ll get to the goal if we walk the path together. ”
She held onto him.
“I won’t give up, Fineas.”
He kissed her on the forehead.
“My sweet girl. Know what this means?” he asked, finding the silver lining in the storm clouds.”
“What?” she asked.
“We can get married sooner now rather than later. Want to get married at a castle? Seeing the wedding today makes me want to have my best day ever with you there.”
She sniffled.
“Really?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Yeah, let’s get hitched, and then worry about having a baby after. We’ll try again, and go from there. Let’s get married first so we at least have that. I want to be your husband in the worst way.”
She nodded.
It made him smile.
Her freckles were wet with shed tears, and her curls bounced, but he knew one thing. She was the love of his life. She was his miracle, and there was no doubt there would be more pregnancies.
He’d bet on it.
“I called my one sister. She’s rallying the other sisters to help you through this. Let’s go back to my place, and regroup with family, and then, we’ll discuss the whole ghost thing,” he said, knowing she’d need a distraction later.
Gabby sniffled.
“And you still love me?”
He kissed her on the tip of her nose.
“I love you even more now because we have another adventure to partake in. You’re my partner and my other half. I’ll never stop loving you.”
And she needed to hear that.
Gabby only hoped their path would have babies on it. She prayed it did every day.
She knew one thing though, and it was an important thing. Finn was a good man, and with him by her side, they’d make it.
Their adventure was only beginning.
And one day, she’d get what she wanted.
To be a mom.