Chapter 21 #2
“Have you always been this tiny?” My hand stilled.
“And before you answer that, you need to know this isn’t something I want you to talk about, but it’s something I need you to talk about.
” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Weight is a sensitive thing—I get that. Once we discuss this, we never have to talk about it again. But I have noticed that since you started working at Charred, you’ve put on a few pounds—and, fuck, I hope my saying this doesn’t upset you, but those few pounds look fucking incredible on you. ”
“It’s okay.” She grabbed my arm. “I appreciate you handling that delicately, but I know how thin I am—and I know I’m too thin, and I’m so happy I put on weight.
I need to put on more, I know that too.” She stroked my arm while she blinked several times.
“It’s amazing that you feed your employees for free.
The assisted living facility doesn’t do that.
They give us leftovers, but I can barely remember a time when there’s been any food left.
They also offer food at a discount, so that was basically my only meal for the day until I started working at Charred. ”
“Now you understand why I was ruthlessly trying to feed you, and that was before I knew anything.”
“I get it.” She took a deep breath, pushing the hair off her face before she clasped my arm again.
“And to answer your question, yes, I’ve always been tiny-ish.
That’s because Mom’s priority was alcohol, not food.
From a young age, I learned to survive off very little.
My body just got used to it. And then, when I started making my own money, I quickly gained weight, and that’s when Dean began to ask for more cash.
If I had all this money for food, then I had more to give him. ”
As she went quiet, the hate I had for that fucking man doubled.
“I told you, there were so many times that I thought a meal would make Mom and me feel better—the whole going to bed with a full stomach would be like a wool blanket thing, ya know? But it’s also something I never had.
And when you don’t have it, you don’t realize how much you miss it or want it or even need it.
” Her shoulders rounded forward. “I’m so used to feeling empty and achy, so when I do fill my stomach, I generally keep things pretty light.
I’m afraid my body will reject it if I don’t.
” When she exhaled, it was so loud. “I’m a mess. ”
“No. I’m a fucking mess, Alivia. You’re a person who’s thrived in an environment that tried to destroy you.”
She loosened her fingers from around my arm and drew them over my skin.
“Thank you for never looking at me like you feel bad for me. And thank you for looking like you want to strangle Dean.” She let out a small laugh.
“Which you won’t—I won’t let you—but I really love that you look like you want to. ”
“I want nothing more than to fucking shred that man.”
She lifted my hand and put it on her face.
“I’ve never had anyone protect me. I’ve never known what that feels like.
” While I held her cheek, she put her fingers on top of mine.
“Until you.” She spoke in a whisper, but I heard her so clearly.
“That’s who you are—not a screamer, not a fighter. Walker, you’re a protector.”
I ran my thumb under her eyes. “You know, when you saw me in the hallway of Charred and we collided, I was leaving work because I’d lost my shit.
Not yelling. I mean, I couldn’t breathe.
I called my doctor from the car, and he told me I’d had a panic attack.
” I licked my lips. “I drink more whiskey than I should, I don’t eat enough, and I feel so fucking lost at times—probably close to all the time—that I don’t know how to find myself.
” I nodded at that point, and I bounced my head again at the next one I was about to make.
“I scream at my employees because I don’t want to be at Charred.
I take my anger out on them.” I exhaled through my nose.
“We all have our own shit, Alivia. I’m saying all of this because I don’t want you to feel alone. ”
“You’ve never made me feel that way.”
I moved in closer, readjusting her legs across my lap.
“You told me before that you couldn’t handle screaming.
I didn’t know the extent. I do now.” I pushed her knees against my chest. “I’m going to work on it.
I’m really going to try. You have that commitment from me.
I don’t want to be the guy who sends you over that edge—I saw what it did to you. Never again.”
“You have no idea how much that means to me, Walker.”
I brought her hand up to my mouth. “I don’t want to lose you. Here. At work. Anywhere.”
“I want to be here. I want to be at Charred. I want to be everywhere with you.” As I put my lips against the center of her palm, she added, “We couldn’t be more opposite in pretty much every way.
You have a big, very involved family, and I’m an only child.
You had this incredible upbringing—one that I’ve read about in interviews that you did—and mine was tumultuous.
You own an empire. You have all of this”—she glanced at the ceiling, at the view, at the entire room before her eyes returned to me—“and I don’t have anything.
You scream, and I whisper. You’re tall and built, and I’m a peanut.
” She finally showed her teeth when she smiled. “But we work. Don’t we?”
I pulled her fingers away from my mouth. “Do you know what happens when you take a glass jar and you fill it halfway with balsamic vinegar and the other half with freshly pressed olive oil?”
She huffed. “They don’t mix. Everyone knows that.”
“But when you shake the bottle, the two blend beautifully, and in my opinion, there is no better dressing than the tangy flavor of a rich, temperamental vinegar, like myself, and the smooth softness of oil, like you.”
Her smile was growing. “You’re saying two people who have gone through it separately can create something perfect together?”
“Perfect?” I chuckled. “No. I fucking hate perfect.” I cupped her face. “But what we’ll have is special. Unique. And everything we both want.”
Eden
I came into the restaurant tonight for dinner, and everyone told me you’d left. Everything okay?
Alivia was asleep next to me in bed. She’d been out for hours, but I still tried to be soundless when I slipped out of the covers and walked to the kitchen. When I was far enough away that I knew she wouldn’t hear me, I called Eden.
“Wow,” Eden said as she answered. “A phone call? Who are you?”
“I call you sometimes.”
“You also like to avoid calling me sometimes.” She laughed. “I just got home from Charred. Why aren’t you there?”
I turned my back to the kitchen island, the stone hitting the top of my ass. There were a multitude of things I could say, but there was no reason to hide the truth. “Something happened with Alivia—she’s fine, but she needed to leave, and I took her to my place.”
“I guess that answers all my questions.”
“Things are still early and new, Eden. But, yeah, it’s happening.”
“I had a feeling it was.” She paused. “How is this going to look at Charred?”
“It’s not going to affect me one fucking bit.” My head fell backward. “But I don’t know what it’s going to do to Alivia. If it does anything at all. Some of those guys like to tease, but would they do that to her? Over the boss?” I whistled out some air. “Fuck if I know.”
“Maybe you don’t say anything to the team? For as long as you can?”
“That’s not a bad idea.” Besides, that would give me time to figure shit out on my end as far as my future at Charred was concerned. “I’ll tell the family in the morning.”
“They already know, but if it makes you feel better, be my guest.”
I held the back of my neck. “Of course they fucking know. You guys are the worst gossipers in the world.”
“Gossipers? No. We’re just very aware of what’s happening within our family, and we need to be—we’re running quite the operation, Walker. I did run things by our attorney. I’m talking about you and Alivia. From a legal standpoint, we’re safe. Not that you were worried, but I was.”
I glanced out the window toward the canyon. Eden’s home was just on the other side, an easy view from here.
“There was no question in my mind that you were going to do that.”
“Then will it surprise you to hear that I’m now going to ask about James and her charity—”
“Will it surprise you to hear that I’m hanging up? Because I am.” I chuckled as I ended the call and quietly returned to my bedroom.
I was awake when Alivia stirred against the pillow and her beautiful eyes opened. My hand went to her cheek as she started to wake up a little more.
“Good morning.”
She blinked several times. “It’s morning?”
“You slept about ten hours last night.”
“I did … what?” She sat up and looked at the clock on my nightstand. “Oh my God, I did.”
“I didn’t want to make breakfast until you were up. I didn’t want to wake you.”
She pulled the blanket up to her neck and snuggled into my side. “I can’t believe I slept that long.” She yawned. “No, I take that back. I can believe I slept that long. Your bed is like a cloud, and it’s so dark in here. How are your window coverings not letting in even a speck of light?”
I laughed.
“But most of all, I know it’s because I spent the night with you.”
I wanted to be the spot where she landed. I wanted her to always feel the safest with me.
My thumb rubbed across the softness of her cheek. “God, that makes me so fucking happy.”
She nuzzled into my palm. “What’s for breakfast?”
“What does my baby want?”
“Hold on. Are you really going to cook?” When I nodded, she said, “Walker, I’m … just surprised.”
The feeling was there, in my chest. The desire to make something. The yearning to create. But I knew the reason had everything to do with her. And if I stepped into Charred, the feeling would be gone.
“For you, yes, I want to cook.”
“In that case, how about some pancakes?” She smiled, her lashes fluttering.
My brows rose. “That’s all you want?”
“I don’t know why, but that just sounds so good to me.”
I leaned into her face, putting my lips on her cheek. “How about you take your time getting up? I’ll make you some pancakes and whatever else I decide to whip up, and you meet me in the kitchen in about twenty.”
She gripped the back of my head, squeezing my hair. “See you there, Chef.” She winked.
Eden
Walker knows you guys know about Alivia and him, so you can stop having side chats and give him all the shit you want here in the family chat.
Beck
Jesus, Walker, we’ve been waiting …
Hart
Yeah, it’s about fucking time.
Colson
You should have seen the way he looked at her when she came into his office. For the record, I called this a while ago.
Beck
That’s true, you did.
Colson
Pay up, motherfuckers.
Me
Hold on a second. You fucking bet? On me?
Colson
You’re surprised? This family has wagered bets on Hart and Beck. It’s only fitting we would do it for you too.
Me
Surprised? Fuck, I don’t know what I am.
Colson
As soon as I found out she’d stayed a couple of nights in your suite, I wagered a grand. What I didn’t see happening was the Charred connection. But all that did was solidify my bet.
Beck
I bet against you, Walker. No way was the grump of the family settling down.
Hart
Especially with someone soft and sweet, which is the way Colson described her.
Colson
I had your back, brother.
Me
And, Eden? Where did you stand on the bet?
Eden
Are you forgetting I created this entire scenario and downloaded the app on your phone?
Me
But it’s a hookup app, Eden.
Eden
There’s a button you can hit during the initial setup that asks how high of a match you want to be paired with. I selected a maximum of a 2% differential, which means you would only be shown women you matched 98%, 99%, and 100% with. I would guarantee you didn’t even know that I did that.
Me
I didn’t. Fuck.
Colson
She knew what she was doing all right …
Me
Let me get this straight. You’re fucking telling me that you initiated this entire thing? In hopes that I’d meet someone?
Eden
And find happiness? Yes. Because you were seriously lacking it in all aspects of your life.
So, I took it upon myself to change that—or at least see if I could change it—and it worked.
Just like I’d thought it would. The idea had been on my mind for a while.
I was just looking for the right time. You can thank me in your wedding speech.