Chapter 26 #2
“Then you’re sucking dick for cash.” His eyes narrowed, and he finally wiped his lips.
“Is that what you’re doing with your mouth these days?
Is that how you’re gaining weight? From all the cum you’ve been swallowing?
Turning into the little slut I always knew you were.
” A look came across his face. One I didn’t recognize.
“You want your money back?” He pumped his hips forward. “Then come suck this dick for it.”
My stomach churned. If I opened my mouth too wide, the halibut and steak and ramen were going to come pouring out.
I needed to get to my room and close the door and put all my weight against it.
“You’re an asshole.” I crouched down to grab my things off the floor—my keys, phone, lip gloss, gum, and all the other unorganized collectibles that had found their way into my bag.
I had my keys in my hand. But when I reached for my phone, something sharp thrust into my stomach, and I went flying back. “Ahhh! Shit!”
I grabbed my abdomen, rocking forward from the floor, the pain searing through me.
I couldn’t breathe.
The wind was gone from my lungs.
For a moment—and I didn’t know how brief it was—I saw blackness.
When my eyelids flicked open again, Dean’s boot-covered foot was lowering to the ground.
He’d kicked me.
The bastard had fucking kicked me.
My key ring was hooked around my finger, the metal stabbing my palm as I tried to push myself onto my knees.
“Stay down there, you slut. You don’t need to go anywhere.” He was fumbling with his belt buckle, the metal piece unwilling to come out of the hole.
“Dean!” my mother screamed. “Dean! I want a drink!”
What’s happening?
Why is he opening his belt?
Why am I still on the floor?
My body wasn’t working the way I needed it to.
Everything hurt.
And everything and everyone was screaming.
The exhale Dean released as the metal finally popped out of the notch was so loud and evil that I felt it all the way down here. His breathing stayed just as deep and wet-like, as if the smoke were still in his throat.
I had no time to recover.
I had to get up.
I had to leave.
My lungs wheezed as I tried to fill them with air. My stomach yelled in pain as I got onto my knees. I fisted the keys as I placed one foot on the floor.
“Don’t you dare fucking move.” He wobbled, losing his balance, but regained it. “You’re not going anywhere until you suck this dick—do you hear me?”
My stomach heaved again, and this time, I actually gagged.
Why is he doing this?
Why, after all these years, is he trying to hurt me?
Has he always wanted to?
Is this what all of those arguments were eventually leading to?
I had to get out of here.
I could either try to grab my phone and risk getting kicked again or I could run straight to the door.
But I couldn’t stay here a second longer.
His weakness was the amount of beer he’d had and how his hands weren’t working the way he needed them to.
I just had to wait for the right time.
“I’m going to put this dick in your fucking mouth, and you’re going to …”
I stopped listening. I shut my ears off, and I focused on his movements. My foot pressing into the carpet, my hands positioned, like a sprinter ready for a race.
When his pants were around his knees and he was getting to work on his briefs, I made a run for it, knowing the placement of his jeans would make it extremely difficult for him to chase after me.
“Get back here!”
I checked his location once I reached the doorway.
“Where the fuck are you going—”
I yanked the door open and shut it behind me, holding my stomach as I sprinted to my car. With my fingers clutching my keys, I dangled the bunch, the trembling making it hard to pick the right one, and once I had it, I shoved it into the lock.
“Alivia!”
He had the door open.
Fuck!
I got inside the driver’s seat and shut the door behind me, immediately locking it. My hand was quivering just as badly as I tried to put the key in the ignition, turning it enough that the car would start.
“Alivia!”
In my rearview mirror, Dean was holding his pants up and rushing down the steps toward the road that he had to pass to reach me.
I couldn’t let him get close.
I couldn’t let him get his hands on me.
Because once I was within his grasp, I didn’t know if I’d be able to get out.
I put the car in reverse and slammed on the gas, speeding backward, the steering wheel jolting as the car spun. I bore down on the brakes. The vehicle slowed just enough that I could shift into drive.
Dean was past the road and only feet away from my trunk. “Alivia! Stop!”
My foot punched the gas, my tires peeling out as the car lurched forward.
But even with his arms extended, I was too far ahead.
He couldn’t reach anything but air.
I blew through the Stop sign at the end of the road, not realizing how slick my hands were until I was turning and they were slipping over the steering wheel.
I didn’t know how many lights I went through before, “Oh my God,” fell from my lips.
What just happened?
How did I even get out of there?
Was he really going to …
My stomach flipped, and I put my palm over my mouth, gagging behind it until I could open my door and throw up on the pavement. With each heave, I felt his boot in my gut. I felt every organ he’d kicked.
And I felt the tears.
They were like lava as they pooled in my eyes. As they fell from my eyelids. As they soaked my lips when I shut the door and began to drive. As they clung to my chin before they dropped.
Where am I going?
I needed to think, but my brain wasn’t working.
I reached toward the passenger seat and felt nothing. My purse wasn’t there because I’d left it at Dean’s, my phone on the carpet inside.
Damn it!
I couldn’t contact anyone.
I didn’t know a single phone number by heart.
Lex was too far. I didn’t have enough gas to even get to her apartment, and I didn’t have any money on me to refill my tank.
Walker. I wanted Walker.
I wanted his arms.
I wanted to feel his whiskers on my cheek.
I wanted the protectiveness of his chest.
I just didn’t want him to see me like this.
But this was who I was at this exact moment. This was what I looked like when the people who were supposed to support me betrayed me. This was what remained when almost everything had been taken away.
Some people don’t like to let it all out, in fear that once those words are spoken, they can’t take them back. Some people worry that once it’s all out, there won’t be anything left.
Tonight, I was both.
When I arrived at Walker’s, I pressed the button on the call box outside his gate.
It was so late. It had to be close to two at least. The light in my dash that showed the time had been broken for months. If my car wasn’t so dark, I would have looked at my watch—something I appreciated that Dean had never seen or I was sure he would have tried to take it.
I knew Walker didn’t sleep, but would he hear the notification that someone was at his gate?
“Alivia?”
Thank God.
“Walker”—I balled my fist in front of my mouth as my voice broke—“please let me in.”
The gate opened, and I waited until there was just enough room to fit my car before I pulled in, parking outside his garage.
As I headed toward the front of his house, the door was already open, and he was standing in the entryway.
I didn’t slow as I rushed toward him, my arms circling his waist, clutching the back of his T-shirt, holding on with all my strength.
“Baby …” He hugged me back, his lips going to the top of my head. “Did you change your mind and decide to spend the night—why do you smell like vomit?”
I do?
I leaned back, and as he looked at my face, his entire expression changed.
“What the fuck happened?”
My eyes closed, my tears burning again. “Dean …”
I was in the air a second after that word left my mouth.
Walker carried me into his kitchen and set me on the island.
He went to grab a towel, and I watched as his breathing changed.
His inhales and exhales louder than normal.
He wet the towel under the faucet, and when he came to me, he gently wiped my cheeks and the front of my shirt—places the vomit had landed without me even realizing.
“I’m doing everything in my power not to scream right now.”
“Please don’t.” My head shook, and pieces of hair stuck to my face. “I can’t take any more. I can’t …”
He dropped the towel, his hands on my thighs, his face in front of mine. “If he laid a finger on you, Alivia … I’m going to fucking lose it.” His fingers were now on my face. Not to hold me. But to examine me.
“Not there.” I slowly lifted my tank top to show him my stomach. “Here.”
It was then that I realized how badly I still hurt. How my skin stung. How my insides felt like I’d been pressed through the potato cutter.
I winced as he touched the side of my stomach, and he lowered my shirt, his arms going around me, gripping the back of my head, making sure I was tucked in his chest.
“How did he do that to you?”
My eyes closed, and more wetness came out of them.
“He kicked me.” I took a breath. “He had taken my tip money after he tore my purse off my arm. When I tried to get it back, this happened, and that was after he already pushed me. But it got uglier.” I was numb, yet I felt everything.
So much of the night was blurry, yet I saw the details as though I were still on the floor in front of him. “He unbuckled his pants.”
The strength in Walker’s arms doubled, and my stomach got queasy again, the violent circling not just in there, but everywhere.
“I got out before he had his briefs down. But he wanted me to …” I couldn’t say the words. I couldn’t make them a reality. “You know …”
He released another exhale, this one deep and so gritty. Several more, just like that one, came out before he said, “Has he done anything like this before?”
“No. I promise.”
I didn’t understand why, but I also needed to say those words for me. As though, in my head, I needed to reconfirm that tonight had been an exception and that was the reason I’d stayed living there. That things had never been this bad.
“I need your address.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to fucking kill him.”
“No.”
“Alivia—”
“No!” My voice came out so loud that I scared myself. I unraveled from his hold and gripped his shoulders. “Please, I don’t want that. I don’t want any more violence. I will go back there in the morning when he’s more sober and get my phone and—”
“You’re never going back there.”
I searched his eyes. “But I left my phone. And my purse. My clothes. And—”
“You’ll have everything you need by tomorrow morning.” He caressed my cheek. “But you’re not going anywhere near that house unless I’m with you.” His fingers straightened, and he cupped my face. “And I’m telling you right now, if I go there, I will kill him.”
My hands dived into the sides of my hair.
I still couldn’t think.
This was so much.
“But I live there, Walker.”
“Baby, you live here now.”
The tears were so thick that I could barely see his face.
“If you’re not ready to live with me, you can stay with Eden. Or I’ll pay for your apartment. But there’s no way in hell you’re ever living with that man again.” He rubbed my arms. “I will not have you jeopardize your safety for any reason, especially a financial reason.”
“I … don’t know what to say.”
Everything was happening.
Changing.
Moving.
And I couldn’t breathe.
“Come here.” He folded me against his chest, where all I felt was the warmth of his skin and the security of his arms. “I’ve got you.”
Me
It’s Alivia. I have a new phone number. And I have so much to tell you.
Lex
Why a new number? What’s going on?
Me
I’m living with Walker now.
Lex
BABE!
Me
It didn’t exactly happen how you might think. Dean did some horrible things. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Just two broken ribs and some very ugly bruises.
Lex
I’m going to kill that fucking man.
Me
Get in line. Walker wants to do the same.
Lex
Fuck that dickhead (Dean, not Walker). Are you okay? Like, REALLY okay? I’m sick over this news.
Me
Walker is taking incredible care of me. The night I showed up at his doorstep, he had his doctor come right over to check me out, and then he escorted us to the hospital so we could get in and out without waiting.
And because I’d left all my things at Dean’s, by the next morning, he had an entire closet filled for me and obviously a new phone.
I’ve taken a few days off work, and he hasn’t left my side. I’m okay, babe.
Lex
I love him.
Me
Me too.
Lex
And I love you.
Me
I’ll call you in a few days. xo