Chapter 14
Khawla
I had not realized how starved my younglings were for a female’s kind touch until I witnessed it.
Jolene was nothing like a Naga female, she was soft, warm, kind.
She did not push them away or belittle them for not being strong; she hugged Nisha the way Kusha had cuddled with our sons.
I had hated the distance having a daughter had created between my childhood friend, our younglings, and myself.
Now, I tried to see it through the eyes of my true mate.
For her, giving affection was free and easy, and she gave it to all three of my younglings as if she had plenty to spare.
The doubts I’d had about Jolene fitting into our lives were gone then.
In fact, I felt silly for ever thinking that she could not accept the young of another.
A Naga female would not, but Jolene was not Naga; she was human.
She was a caretaker at heart; this came naturally to her.
We would be going against every single tradition I knew, she’d raise Nisha like a human would.
Now I wondered… would that change what kind of Naga female my daughter would one day be?
I watched from the shadows at the top of the ladder to the sleeping loft as she tucked my younglings into their nests.
She even spared still-slightly-suspicious Rasho a kiss, and I wondered what that was like for my son.
I really wanted them to like her, but this was a stolen moment in time; none of that would matter if we didn’t get out of here.
Msera told me that tomorrow the Queen would see us, but I’d already checked each exit of my home.
There was no slipping away tonight, not without outside help.
The response, when my Clan males had discovered that Jolene was my mate, told me I could not expect any help.
They were as furious as she was to discover the truth.
One problem at a time, I could not fight the whole town, and I could not hide three younglings and a human as we snuck out.
So I’d speak with Jolene, and at least make it clear that I had never meant to betray her by lying.
That first exclamation had been the shock of discovery, not an actual denial, but I shouldn’t have let her keep believing it was true.
I just hadn’t known how to wrap my head around the massive discovery.
Perhaps I’d grown too jaded after all this time pretending to be Kusha’s mate.
I could admit now that I’d been extremely unhappy, but had accepted it as the only way to survive—and protect my younglings once they came.
When she turned to come down the ladder, I slipped down before her, and I knew she had not seen me.
Her eyes were terrible in the gloom, so I watched carefully to make sure she did not fall.
She’d shed the blankets and my tunic in the warmth of my home, and I got to admire her slender shape and soft curves beneath her clothes.
I had torn the shirt at the bathing chambers, but it had been tied shut around her waist with a leather cord.
I needed only to pull one loop to open it and let my greedy eyes feast on her bare breasts again.
Forcing myself to stay still, I waited by the hearth, food piled into bowls. She came quietly, sat down to eat in silence, and, for the first time in a long while, my scales shivered along my spine. My control was terrible around her, and soon she’d learn what that meant.
As her spoon scraped over the bottom of the bowl, she finally raised her eyes to my face.
Her mouth was set tightly, but I saw no real anger in her eyes, it wasn’t sharp or mean, just…
resigned. “So what now? This meeting with the Queen tomorrow, it isn’t anything good, is it? Do you have an escape plan?”
If it were just me, I could have escaped already.
The quirk of my scales would let me slip away even under the noses of the most highly trained hunters.
Carrying three younglings and a human through the night made it impossible, though.
I shook my head. “We will need outside help. We need an ally to provide a distraction…” That was the only plan I could think of.
With just enough of a distraction, I was certain I could get us out, but it hinged on outside help. Help we did not have.
“Oh… We’ll have to ask that guy with the seafoam hair, the pretty one,” Jolene said.
A growl rattled out of my chest before I could stop it.
Pretty one? I knew she was talking about Reshar right away, and I hated that she called him that.
I’d always been called ugly, different, and after I’d lost my eye, I knew that hadn’t done me any favors.
It hurt my pride, but it was also a possessive jealousy that filled me.
She spoke of another male that way? I was her mate, no one else.
“Reshar is pretty, is he?” I demanded. My tail was around her before I could curb the instinct.
Maybe I was done playing nice, done holding back my instincts.
Perhaps I needed to show her exactly how much I did think she was my mate.
She was in my lap before she could blink, her wooden bowl clattering to the floor, and her blunt nails digging into my coils ineffectively in protest.
“Yeah, pretty!” she declared boldly, right in my face, with a daring glint in her eyes.
I thought perhaps she’d drive the wedge in further, but her blue eyes filled with moisture, glittering in the firelight.
“Why did you lie, Khawla? Why did you tell me I wasn’t your mate when you knew I was?
” She sounded sad rather than angry, and it was like a knife to my chest. I rubbed my sternum, hissing in displeasure.
“I should have explained when you repeated it. I should have come clean. But…” I paused, sighing, because truly, no amount of explaining could make this right.
“I’m sorry. It was wrong of me.” She nodded, pale-faced, which I had learned meant she was tired or struck with heavy emotions.
Considering the situation we were in, both were appropriate.
At least her pretty eyes were warming up, growing soft and less wet.
Picking her up, I carried her sideways in my arms to the nest at the back of my home.
It had never been a place I’d shared with Kusha; she had always maintained her own home, lived separately.
When she wanted company, when she wanted younglings, it was her nest I’d visited.
Even then—when she still mostly resembled my childhood friend who’d come up with the crazy idea to lie about mating—she had never considered my nest worthy of her.
Jolene just sighed, snuggling into the furs and my coils like she was already used to it, welcomed it.
Her expression was growing softer still, warm with the first stirrings of heat.
Even angry after I’d lied, she had cared selflessly for my young and welcomed me into her arms. I could not believe it could be like that, but with her, with a human, it could.
No wonder my brothers at Haven had happily accepted being cast out. For this, I would accept the same fate.
“Kusha and I grew up together. Our mothers were close friends—at least, as close as Naga females can be. They would leave us in the care of my father, and we’d sneak out to play in the forest. Sometimes, we’d sneak onto skyship wrecks and explore, even though we knew we shouldn’t.
” When I began talking, she settled against my chest with her hand over my heart and listened.
It was easier when I didn’t look at her face, but I found myself doing so anyway.
I wanted to know what she was thinking, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
All I could do to find the answers was read the expressions on her face.
“Naga males are expected to contribute to the Clan, to not be a burden in anyway. Once we’ve reached a certain age but haven’t found our mate, we are often cast from the Clan and left on our own.
” I heard the way I said it—saying we, when I had never been cast out myself—but the old fear of finding myself without a clan came quickly.
As a youngling, my mother had cautioned me against that every day, hanging it as a threat over my head if I misbehaved.
Given my so very different appearance, I’d had very few friends and knew she was right.
Any wrong move, and I’d see myself cast from the Clan and left all alone, without help, without friends.
A male alone was hard-pressed to survive for long.
It was tough, especially if you got injured on the hunt.
“That’s… unfair,” Jolene murmured. “What happens to your women if they don’t mate?
Are they cast out too?” I shook my head immediately and found myself frowning, mirroring the deep furrow that bisected her forehead.
“That’s nuts. What do they contribute?” I opened my mouth to say that they did plenty, but then faltered, knowing it wasn’t true.
It was our way of life, and those who objected would find themselves cast out even faster than I had once been at risk of.
The females got to stay simply because they were in charge, and we all knew it wasn’t right.
At least most hunters, especially those at risk of being cast out, rumbled in discontent about the inequality of it all.