Chapter 36
AMALIE
The paper on the exam table crinkles underneath me. I’m sitting with my hands folded in my lap, trying to pretend I’m not about to have a damn panic attack. My heart bangs in my chest like I’m expecting the doctor to come in and tell me I have a terminal illness.
My mind keeps going back to the way Roman watched me as I winced when I’d lifted my coffee mug to my lips, the smell of it suddenly way too much. I set it down, pushed the mug away.
Of course he noticed, he notices everything. And he knows I love coffee.
“You are seeing a doctor,” he’d said.
“I’m fine. Really.”
There was no shift in his expression.
“Tonight is the night of the charity gala. But even if it weren’t, I’m not taking chances with your health. You are seeing a doctor.”
A call was made, a car arranged. Andrei waited by the entryway until I was ready, and we were off. Roman hadn’t raised his voice, hadn’t repeated himself. A few words paired with a look were the only things needed to get me here.
The fluorescent lights beat down from above, the smell of antiseptic hanging in the air. That smell should make me nauseous.
The door opens softly and in steps Dr. Irina Kovacs. She’s one of Roman’s personal physicians—a doctor who takes her normal set of patients but clears her schedule instantly if Roman calls on her.
She smiles at me warmly. “Alright my dear. Let’s talk.” There’s a tinge of an accent on her words, but I can’t place it.
She reviews the chart, asking all of her questions in a professional but gentle tone.
Finally, she sets the clipboard aside and looks at me over the rim of her glasses.
“Amalie,” she says lightly, “these symptoms together—especially the nausea triggered by smell and the sudden aversion to coffee—make me come to one conclusion.”
My stomach tightens as I’m certain I know what she’s about to say. “What’s that?” I ask stupidly.
“Pregnancy.”
The word lands like a bowling ball tossed onto the floor in front of me. I don’t know what to say or do with it.
“I’d like you to take a test,” she continues. “It’s routine. But given the timing you’ve described, it’s important we know for certain before we assume anything else.”
I nod, trying to play it cool despite the fact that I feel like I’m going to faint. I go into the bathroom, do my business, and give the cup to the nurse.
“It’ll be just a few minutes for the results,” she says. “Go ahead and take a seat.”
Dr. Kovacs returns. “Well, that confirms my suspicion,” she says with a small smile.
My heart drops into my stomach.
No way.
The room spins. I grab onto the table as if it’s going to launch me into the air.
Pregnant.
Holy shit.
I think of Roman. I think of Sasha. I think of the panic room. I think of the lawyers. I think of what he told me during that game of truth or dare.
Suddenly, I’m fiercely afraid.
“I need you to keep this between us,” I tell her.
She frowns. “Amalie—”
“Please. I just need time.”
She removes her glasses, folding them carefully. “I am bound by law despite my relationship to Roman, so if you want me to keep it between us, it stays between us.”
“Thank you. There’s just so much happening right now, and I don’t want to add to that until I know how to tell him.”
“You care for him deeply,” she says.
“Yes,” I admit. No point in denying it. “And Sasha.”
She smiles. “This is a complicated situation with a complicated man.”
I snort. “That’s putting it mildly.”
She hands me a small packet containing information, vitamins, and a list of do’s and don’ts. I slide off the table, my legs feeling a little shaky.
“You have my number in case you need anything,” she says, preparing to leave. She stops and turns at the door. “You’ll be alright.”
I nod, not knowing what to say.
Andrei stands when I enter the waiting room.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Good.” He doesn’t pry.
Outside, the late afternoon is chilly and gray. God, I want spring to get here so badly. Thankfully, the car is already warmed up and ready to go. Andrei opens the door and I ease inside.
I feel like I’m in a dream, like the doctor’s appointment wasn’t real. But it was.
And tonight is the gala.
I’ll put on that gorgeous dress. I’ll smile. I’ll stand beside Roman while cameras flash and people toast his generosity.
All the while, I’ll be carrying this quiet, world-altering truth inside me.
I have no idea how I’m going to tell him.