Chapter 35 #2
I slip inside to grab more sunscreen from the kitchen, the house blissfully quiet compared to the chaos outside.
I barely make it through the doorway before I stop cold.
Griffin is standing near the kitchen island, Alyssa directly in front of him.
For a second, my brain doesn’t fully process what I’m seeing.
Alyssa is wearing a tiny black bikini that leaves very little to the imagination. And her hand rests on Griffin’s chest. His head is bent toward hers as he murmurs something.
Alyssa laughs, the sound echoing through the kitchen.
My stomach drops.
What the fuck?
Heat floods my chest so fast it almost steals my breath.
I take a step backward, needing to leave. Right now, before either of them notices me.
Unfortunately, that’s when Griffin looks up and our eyes meet.
Everything inside me freezes.
“Tiana—”
Nope.
I turn and step out, then keep walking across the backyard, past the pool, and I don’t stop until I reach the shed near the back fence.
The second I’m inside, I close my eyes, breathing in and out slowly. Then do it again because I refuse to cry over Griffin Hayes.
A few seconds later, the door opens, but I don’t turn around.
“Tiana.”
I stare at the far wall.
“Tiana.” His voice is closer now.
Still, I don’t answer. I just keep breathing.
“It’s not what it looked like.”
I laugh. “That’s exactly what it looked like.”
Griffin stops a few feet behind me. The tension in the air is so thick. “Tiana, I’m serious. Alyssa—she just—”
I snort. “What? She tripped and fell into your arms?”
“Can you listen for one second?” His tone is apologetic, but his words hit the back of my head like hailstones.
“Nope,” I say, crossing my arms. “I’m good.”
I hear him shifting behind me, probably running a hand through his hair the way he does when he’s frustrated or when he wants to say something but can’t quite figure out how to get it out.
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Griffin.”
He fully steps inside, shutting the door behind him with more force than necessary. “If you’d stayed for three more seconds, you would’ve heard me telling her to leave me alone.”
My arms cross. I face him now, squinting at the wild party happening outside of this sun-hot shed because I can’t quite bring my eyes to land on his. “Right. Sorry I missed your gallant rejection once you got caught.”
He drags a hand through his hair. “I’m not interested in her, Tiana.”
“Funny, because I’m pretty sure you’re not interested in me either.”
That stops him. His jaw flexes. “You want to do this now?”
I grip the edge of the tool bench behind me, the wood biting into my palms. “Do what? Have an honest conversation with someone who can’t even look me in the eye for more than five seconds at a time?”
He hesitates. “I look you in the eye plenty.”
“Only when I’m not looking back,” I spit.
Griffin blinks. “You think I’ve been avoiding you.”
He says it like it’s absurd. As if it’s not exactly what he’s been doing.
I wait.
Griffin nods, lips tight, weighing the cost of saying nothing versus saying it all. “I can’t pretend, Tiana.”
“What are you talking about?”
He steps closer, hands shoved in his pockets, face stormy with a thousand things he’s not saying. “I can’t act like nothing’s changed anymore. I care about you..” He takes a breath. “But I also can’t let this be anything.”
A scoff claws up my throat. “That’s incredibly mature, Griffin. Gold star for honesty.”
“You’re young, Tiana. You’re my son’s—” He stops, like the word tastes bad. “You work for me. And you deserve someone who isn’t…” He trails off and finally says, “Me. I’m… not what you want.”
“That’s such bullshit,” I snap. “Don’t speak for me, for what I want.” My heart is pounding so loud it drowns out the birthday music and water splashes and all the dumb, happy noise from the yard. “If you were so sure it was wrong, maybe you shouldn’t have fucked me in the first place.”
Griffin winces. “I know,” he says, voice raw. “That was—” He cuts himself off. “That was my fault. I shouldn’t have let it happen. I’m sorry.”
I can’t help my laugh, and it’s not a pretty sound. “Let it happen? Like you didn’t initiate the whole damn thing in the first place?”
I can see him search for some version of the truth that doesn’t make him the villain.
He tries, anyway. “I’m a mess. I wasn’t thinking.”
I storm up to him, pointing my finger at his chest. Griffin’s breath stutters.
I let myself be angry enough to say what I’ve been feeling for weeks. “Fuck you, Hayes. You were thinking,” I seethe, with all the fury I’ve been trying to force back down. “You were just thinking about what you wanted in the moment, not what would happen after. And I’m the idiot who fell for it.”
Griffin stares at me hard. Every inch of him looks like it wants to run, except he’s still here, arguing with me in a backyard shed at his kid’s seventh birthday party.
The space is suddenly the size of a coffin, the smell of sawdust mixing with the heat of our breathing. “Say it,” I dare him, staring up into his eyes. “Say whatever flimsy excuse you’ve been using to convince yourself that what happened was some dumb accident instead of what we both wanted.”
“I wanted you,” he admits, and it burns through me like whiskey. “I still want you.”
I want to throw a wrench at him. “Then why can’t you face me?”
“What do you want me to say, Tiana? That I’m a fuckup? You know that already.” His voice is raw.
“Good. Then we’re clear.” I move to pass him, brush by his shoulder, but he doesn’t let me. Griffin blocks the door, close enough that I can smell the faded citrus of his cologne.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
I glare up at him. “Congratulations, you did anyway.” My voice cracks, but I bulldoze through. “What you did—that wasn’t just some mistake. It was you getting exactly what you wanted and then deciding you couldn’t be bothered with the mess after.”
Griffin gives a helpless laugh. “It’s not just about me. I have a kid who lost his mother, and a house that still reminds me of her, and I don’t want to blow up his life a second time.” His voice finally drops, the fight going out of it. “I wish I could give you a reason that makes sense.”
He’s looking at me with this ridiculous stubborn sadness and I press my fists to my temples, trying to keep my voice from trembling.
“That’s not what I’m asking for. I never wanted to be your next wife, Griffin, or to replace anyone.
I just wanted—” I chew my lip. “I don’t even know.
I just want not to leave this house every day feeling like I make your skin crawl. ”
“You don’t,” he says quickly. “Nothing I can say will make the way I’ve been treating you okay.
” His eyes are so blue they almost unnerve me.
“I want you so much it scares the shit out of me, Tiana. You make me want things I shouldn’t want.
That’s my problem, not yours. I can’t trust myself around you. ”
He’s so close I feel the electricity off his body, the charge of anger and humiliation and something that still wants, still aches, even as I tell myself I don’t care. I meet his gaze with all the courage I can muster.
“So your solution was to avoid me and… what? Hope the problem just went away? If this is such a concern for you, just tell me to leave, Griffin.”
“I can’t do that, Tiana. Sylas needs you, and I can’t mess that up for him.”
My anger buckles, and I’m just sad again.
“I see.” I look away, blinking until the ceiling stops blurring. “I should go. The kids need—”
“Tiana.”
“No, it’s okay.” My voice comes out almost sweet.
“You’re right. Sylas needs me.” I look at him one more time.
“I will not spend another day being haunted by a woman I never even met, Griffin. I don’t want to be second place to someone who isn’t here anymore.
So whatever happened between us will never happen again. ”
Griffin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Instead, he steps aside, granting me the out.
The shed door is hot to the touch. For a half-breath, I think he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t, and I step outside and let the sun block out the tears from my eyes before they have a chance to fall.