Chapter Twenty-Four
T he flight to Ohio is quick and easy even though I spent the majority of it trying to keep my tears at bay, thinking about my father and saying goodbye to Rowan even if it was only for a short time. The thought of not seeing his smile every day sent a wave of sadness through me that I hadn’t anticipated.
Emily texted me while I was in the air that my father made it through surgery and that they removed the blockage. I feel so much relief that he’s fine, but I know I won’t feel completely better until I see and talk to him. I make it to the hospital quickly and push through the doors of the waiting room to see Emily, her husband, their daughter, and my mom’s mom.
“Ellie Bellie!” my grandma says, practically jumping out of her seat. I’m in her arms instantly and I feel comfort in that way only grandmothers can provide.
“Hi, Grandma!” She kisses my cheek and puts her hands on my shoulders.
“You are prettier every time I see you. You are glowing.” She narrows her eyes at me and gives me a sly smile. “I need to hear all about this boy because you look in love, girl. And why I’m hearing about it through the grapevine is unacceptable.” She pinches my arm and I wince at the pain.
“It’s…kinda new.”
Emily stands up to engulf me in a hug and it stuns me to see how much she looks just like our mother. Mahogany eyes that sit behind square frames stare at me and I feel like we are transported back to a time where we could have a whole conversation with just our eyes.
“Hey,” she says and I see the exhaustion all over her face. She’d ditched our natural curls and color in our teen years, opting to straighten her hair and dye it a jet black.
“Hey, Em.” While I’m staring at her, something seems off, and on their own accord, my eyes drift to her stomach before moving back to her eyes curiously.Her eyes widen before she nods once and tears flood my eyes. “Oh my God, Emily,” I whisper as I hug her again and she chuckles in my ear.
“I hate how well you can still read me.” She puts a hand over her eyes. “Ten weeks,” she confirms.
“Auntie El!” My niece comes to sit in my lap the second I sit down and I squeeze her tight. She’s almost seven now and I suddenly have a vision of her and Isla being the best of friends.
Remembering that I told Rowan I would text him when I got to the hospital, I pull out my phone and shoot him a text telling him I will call him in a bit.
“Hi, honey.”
“We are still waiting for them to let us see him, but new guy?” Emily asks with a quirked eyebrow. That’s the thing about Emily; she only allows vulnerability to show for a moment before she’s back to having her tough exterior. “So, where’d you meet him?”
“Ummm…” I sigh, knowing there’s no sense beating around the bush. “He’s the dad I nanny for.”
Emily’s husband, Trent, who’d been quiet since I got here because he’s not a big talker, looks up from his phone and stares at me with wide eyes. “Okay, Ellie.”
Figuring he’s thinking something salacious; I clarify. “He’s not married, you fool. Their mom is not alive.”
“Aren’t you living there?” Emily asks, with her eyebrows raised to the ceiling, and I glare at her for bringing that factoid up in front of our grandma.
“Can you not?” I ask her. I’m annoyed that even at a time like this and after the moment we just had, my sister can still successfully irritate me.
“Emily, don’t be a prude. You were barely out of diapers before you started shacking up.”Our grandma interrupts. I bite my lip to hide the grin because I should have known my grandma would come to my defense. Being the favorite grandchild does have its perks.
“It just happened…he’s amazing though. I think I may actually be in love.” I look at my grandma who’s looking at me over the top of her glasses as if to say I knew that.
“How many kids does he have? Three, right? That’s a lot,” Emily says, and I hear what sounds more like support than judgment.
“Yes, three amazing kids, and I am crazy about them.”
“Are they crazy about you and their dad?” Emily asks while itching her nose ring.
I tilt my head. “His oldest daughter is warming up to the idea. His youngest daughter is too young to really grasp it; I think? And the middle is a boy and he is fine with it.”
“Wow, the oldest daughter being difficult? Where have I heard that before?” Emily says and while a smile pulls at her lips, I know it was meant to be a dig.
“Not today, Emily Nicole,” my grandmother warns.
She sighs and turns back to me. “Well, I’m glad you’re happy,” she says with a noncommittal shrug.
The doctor walks into the waiting room and spots us before coming to sit in a nearby chair.
“So, your father and son-in-law are doing fine.” He turns to look at me. “Hi, I’m Dr. Johnson. Are you Elianna?”
“Yes, that’s me.” I nod immediately.
“Great, your father wanted me to check to see if you were here. I’m supposed to bring you back first.”
“Heaven forbid, not the daughter that’s been here,” Emily grumbles.
I wince and look at the doctor who looks old enough to be my grandfather with kind eyes and a sweet smile. “Emily can go first.”
“He requested you,” he says as he stands up.
I sigh, knowing this is going to be a problem. “I’ll be quick,” I tell Emily and she rolls her eyes.
“Whatever.”
We’re walking down the hall in the intensive care unit when Dr. Johnson speaks up. “She must be the middle daughter. He mentioned he had three.”
“That obvious, huh?”
“I have three daughters as well. It happens. But as the father, there’s a reason why we choose a certain child first. It means you’re the toughest and the first person you see after a significant health crisis will see you at your weakest.” He pats my back and nods toward the room with a smile.
I push through the door to see my father sitting up and looking good for someone who just had a heart attack followed by immediate surgery. His eyes find mine, and for a second, they get a little glassy before he smiles.
“If this was all just to get me to visit, I am not amused,” I tell him before a smile pulls at my lips.
“Ellie.”
“Hi, Dad,” I whisper as I move through his private room and lean down gently to hug him. I search for that familiar scent to trigger my nostalgia brought on by my father’s hugs but I only smell the faint smell of the hospital. “How…are you not eating well? Are you exercising?”
“Wow, you’ve been here for five seconds and you’re already on me. That has to be a record.”
“Dad, I’m serious.” I stare into his warm chocolate eyes and shake my head. “I’m still not ready to be an orphan,” I repeat the words I’d said to him years ago when my mom died. He’d smoked cigarettes for years and once she died, I made him promise to quit because I was scared of what would happen if something took the only parent we had left. He’d quit after much badgering and crying and months of temper tantrums.
Truly, I delivered some Academy Award-worthy performances.
“I know,” he tells me with a nod. “I’ll do better, Ellie. Please don’t cry.” He reaches for my hand and squeezes it.
“I thought when I left…” I sniffle as a tear falls down my cheek. “You said you’d be fine.”
“And I am.”
“Clearly not!”I exclaim before letting out a defeated sigh. “I wasn’t planning to move back yet.” I bite my bottom lip thinking about how I would uproot my life back to Ohio. Transferring schools would be easy, but the thought of leaving four people I’m very attached to feels like it would be impossible.
“And I don’t need you to. Honey, sometimes things just happen when you get older. Could I be taking better care of myself? Yes. But I don’t need you to do that for me. You did that for long enough.”
A sad smile pulls at my lips. “I met someone…in Maryland.”
“Oh?” The biggest smile crosses his face because he’s been asking me for a grandchild for about two years now. “Is he here?” He nods toward the door.
“No, he wanted to come. But…I told him I wanted to come alone.” I’ll give him the rundown on the details later…juuuust in case he’s not thrilled about his age. “I think you’ll really like him.”
“Honey, if he’s got your stamp of approval, I love him like a son already.”
Later that night, only Emily and I are left at the hospital. My grandma left and Trent took my niece home. Eden came straight from the airport, but once she found out he was okay and saw him, she went home to change and drop off her stuff. So, Emily and I are sitting next to each other in the waiting room while they do some tests on my father when she speaks up.
“We’re moving,” Emily says sadly and I turn to look at her.
“What?”
“We’re moving…”, she repeats. “Trent is getting transferred.”
“To where? Tell me you mean like down the street.”
She shakes her head. “Chicago.”
“Chicago!?” I say. “You…when?!”
“Next month?” she offers weakly. “They said they could put it off for a few months but we agreed to go because we wanted to move before I got too pregnant.”
“Put it off! Our father just had a heart attack!”
“You think I don’t know that? I didn’t know this was going to happen when we agreed, Ellie. God,” she says before putting her hands over her eyes. “You think I would have said yes if I did? You’re not the only person who cares about Dad,” she snaps.
I ignore the last part because I refuse to let her goad me into an argument. “So, you have to go?”
“Unless I’m planning to live in a different state than my husband, yeah? He has to be there the first of the year. That’s why we were having Thanksgiving at my house. I heard you weren’t thrilled about that,” she grumbles.
“It wasn’t about you,” I whisper.
“Oh?” Emily says. “Seems like it’s always been about me. What I’m doing wrong. What I could be doing better…” She trails off.
“We just always have holidays there and…it made me think about Mom.” She doesn’t say anything and I just shake my head.
“Weren’t you planning to move—” She starts and I turn to look at her.
“So, we’re right back here again? It’s like six years ago all over. You make a decision and everyone just has to be on board? I have to change my entire life because you did?”
“I never asked you to drop out of school, Elianna. Stop with the martyr bullshit.”She turns her narrowed eyes to look at me, giving me a cold stare.
“Odd way to say thank you.”
“This is just so you. No, Ellie. I’m not saying you have to move home—”
“You basically are in not so many words. Eden is at Yale and that’s not close and Grandma is getting older. They need support.”I argue. Emily would never blatantly say I should, but she knows I would if she weren’t here.
“Grandma is fine and she has Allie and Indy,” she says referring to my cousins on my mom’s side. “I know about Dad. I just thought since the plan was always for you to come home that you would. You’ve never mentioned wanting to stay in Maryland. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.” She crosses one leg over the other and huffs. “I’m not the bad sister you think I am.”
“But I am?”
“No. I never said you were.”She snaps. “You’re the one that is always so tough on me. Not the other way around.”
I lean forward letting my arms rest on my thighs. “I was only ever trying to help. You say you didn’t ask me to come home back then, but what would you have done if I didn’t?”
“I would have figured it out.” She sighs. “I know you just wanted to help and I’m glad I never had to know what it was like to do it alone. I’ve never doubted that you were in my corner, Ellie.” Tears well in my eyes hearing words I’d heard many times from Eden who is the most sensitive out of the three of us, but not from Emily, who in my opinion, is the toughest. “I love you… even if you are a pain in my ass.” I laugh through my tears and pull her in for a hug and I can feel her pulling away after only a second. “Okay that’s enough. This is why I don’t say anything nice to you!” She rolls her eyes before giving me a smile.
After a few minutes of silence, she speaks up again. “I know you’ve felt comfortable staying away because I was here and this changes everything. That’s why I’ve been dreading telling you this, but maybe we can talk to him. He can move to Chicago with us.”
“Do you think he’ll leave his house?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “But we could ask.”
Later that night, I’m at my father’s house in my old bedroom by myself. Eden, wanting to keep herself busy, went out with some of her friends who I will probably be picking up later from the bar. I pick up the phone to call Rowan and he answers on the first ring.
“Hi, sunshine.”
“Hey.”
“Are you at your dads?”
“Yeah.” I pull one of my dad’s beers to my lips and take a healthy sip. “Having a beer.”
“As you should. It’s been a day. Are you there alone?”
“Yeah, Eden went to get drunk with her friends. You remember what it’s like when you’re home from school for the first time since graduating. Also, I mean…he’s fine. There’s no need for anyone to worry.”Even as I speak the words, I feel as if I’m holding back tears because… my dad had a heart attack.
“I’m so happy to hear that, baby. God, I’ve been so worried about you. We all have.”
“Tell everyone I’m fine. I’m okay.” Sort of.
“I hear it in your voice, baby. Talk to me. What’s going on?”
I sigh, knowing I’m going to have to broach this subject at some point. “Can we FaceTime?”
“Yeah, of course.” My phone rings and I instantly prop it up in front of me. “Hey, beautiful.” He shoots me that perfect smile and I hate that what I’m about to tell him, will probably cause it to fade.
“So…” I rub my forehead. “Emily dropped a pretty big bomb today.” I sigh. “She’s moving to Chicago. Her husband got transferred and he has to be there the first of the year. They’re moving after Thanksgiving.”
He must know where my head is at because he winces but nods.“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t want to leave him here alone. Especially after a heart attack…” I run a hand through my hair and put my head in my hands.
“What if he moved?”
“He’s not going to want to leave this house,” I tell him, and part of me doesn’t blame him. Not only did he live with his wife and raise his three children here, but it’s a gorgeous three-story Victorian house in a prime location that has been paid off since before Eden was born. The number of offers he’s received and turned down over the years is a little crazy.
“You can’t put a price on memories,” my dad would always say.
“Do you want to move back to Ohio?” Rowan asks.
“No…not really. I…I’ve grown to love Maryland, but I feel like I don’t have a choice. I mean I do…I know I do. But…the right choice doesn’t have me leaving him here alone.”I ramble because I’m still not sure what to do in this situation.
“I get that.”
“I haven’t made any decisions though.” I shake my head. “It’s just a shitty situation.”
“I could move,” he says softly, and of all the things I thought he would say, that was not one of them.
“What? No. What about your job? And you’re going to uproot Margot during her senior year of high school? God, she’d really hate me.” I chuckle darkly.
“I meet most state requirements; I can probably waive into Ohio, and if I can’t, I’ll take the exam. I am pretty sure I’ll pass…” he chuckles. “and Margot will get over it.”
My heart squeezes thinking about how much this man must care about me because I can’t believe what he’s willing to do for me. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking.”
“Okay, well, like I said, I haven’t made any decisions.”
He nods slowly. “We will figure this out together. Okay?”
The next morning, Eden and I are sitting in the kitchen having breakfast before visiting hours at the hospital begin.
“God, I forgot how well you cook,” Eden says as she bites into the French toast I made knowing it’s her favorite. “Elles,” she says when I don’t respond and I look at my youngest sister who really could be my twin. “Don’t feel like you have to move back.”
“Eden…”
“Don’t do it. Not if you’re happy in Maryland. You know Dad wouldn’t want you to.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “We’ll talk to Dad and it’ll be three against one. We’ll make him go to Chicago.” She says before taking a bite.
Our doorbell rings and I frown wondering who that could be.
“Emily has a key, doesn’t she?” I frown because I don’t know who else would be here at this hour. I suppose it could be one of the neighbors coming to say hello or to check on us. What I do not expect is to see the man I’d cried myself to sleep over last night because the thought of leaving him felt like a weight on my chest.
“Hey, sunshine.”He has a little more facial hair than usual, like he hadn’t shaved and maybe a little tired like he didn’t sleep well last night. My fingers itch to touch his face.
“Rowan?” My eyes move to the person next to him and see Margot staring at me with soft eyes and a kind smile. “Margot? Wha–what’s going on? How do you know where I live? Where’s SJ and Isla?”
“You got it from here.” Margot smiles at her dad before squeezing me in a hug and walking past me. “Hi, Ellie.”
She goes inside, closing the door behind her and he slides his hands into his jacket pockets. “That was a lot of questions, so I’ll start with the most important first. “SJ and Isla are okay. They’re in school and River has it under control. They don’t know Margot came with me and Isla is going to throw a fit that she couldn’t come. She asked to call you three times after you left, by the way.” He grabs my hand and drags his lips over it. “I knew I needed to be here. After last night…I talked to Margot and…asked her if she hated the idea of moving.”
“Rowan…”
“I told her, I’d respect her decision whichever she chose and I knew it was a big deal and would understand if she really didn’t want to. But…you see she’s here right.” He smiles. “Are you getting it now? I need to be where you are. They need to be where you are. So, if you need to move here to be closer to your family then we’re coming with you because you’re our family.”
Tears are sliding down my face and I take a step closer to him. “Rowan. I…can’t believe you did this.”
“I asked you once who was strong for you while you were being strong for everyone else and…I want to be that person. I love you and I’ll be strong for you. Forever, if you let me.”
I’m in his arms a second later, pressing my face into his neck as the tears fly down my face. “I love you too,” I murmur against his neck and then his lips are on mine, kissing away the pain of last night and everything I’ve felt since I talked to my sister yesterday. “Wait,” I pull back to look at him. “You didn’t answer me. How did you figure out where I lived?”
“Your file. I figured that was obvious.” He laughs.
“Oh, duh.” I smack my forehead. “That’s right.” I kiss him again and a wicked grin finds my face. “So… since you love me and all, does that mean I get a raise?”