Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
I’m snuggled up on the sofa with Josh, recounting the glorious details of being double-spannered and triple clamped when my phone sounds out with a notification.
It’s a very particular kind of notification. Unmistakeable. One from The Agency’s official staff team.
My eyes widen on Josh’s as I pick my phone up, and he puts a solid hand on my knee.
“It’ll be ok. Your profile is active and you’re hitting those five stars again just fine.”
I manage a nod, but my fingers are shaky as all hell as I unlock my screen. Who’d have ever thought I’d be more nervous about an app message than I was about getting naked in a stranger’s workshop while he rained hammer blows around me?
The message is from Orla, just one simple line, which seems far more terrifying than a whole body of text.
Are you available for a video call this evening?
“Shit,” I say, and turn my screen to Josh.
The green online circle is by her name, and he reaches forward to brush some of my hair behind my ear.
“Take it now, baby. Monsters only grow in the shadows if you don’t face them.”
He’s right and I know it.
I take a breath before I type a reply to Orla.
Ready whenever suits. How about now?
I haven’t spoken to her since before Cannes. I haven’t been able to face it. Just like I hadn’t been able to face anything at all until just a few days ago. But things are different now, I try to assure myself. Ella is coming back, just like Holly has.
Orla wastes no time. When I see the O onscreen as an incoming call, my stomach does a rollercoaster dive.
“I need a shower,” Josh lies. “Good luck, baby. You’ll be fine.”
He winks before he leaves the room. I wish I had just a single percent of his confidence.
My heart is thumping when I connect the call and see myself in the side pane onscreen. I look as petrified as I feel. Orla’s anonymity only makes it worse. The Agency staff never show their faces. Their calls are always just a single white initial of the caller against a blank background.
“Hi, Ella,” Orla says, and I get a rush of emotion at the sound of her voice.
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks,” she answers. “But much more importantly, how are you?”
I don’t even know where to begin with that. Where to start. I don’t know what she wants me to say. Whether to fake light heartedness, or give her a soul baring monologue about what I’ve been through since hell broke loose. So, I go for the basic. The obvious.
“I’m, um, ok. Enjoying my proposals.”
“So I’ve read. Five stars all round.”
I manage a smile. “Yeah, so far so good, right?”
She pauses, and the silence gives me chills I can’t bear, so I spur myself into action, filling the void myself.
“Look, whatever has happened, I’m never going to compromise The Agency. Not for anything. There may be a load of crap flying around, but that isn’t going to crossover into work. I wouldn’t let it. I’d never sell out, I promise.”
“Relax for a second,” she says, and her voice is calm, which soothes me far more than being wrapped up in my pjs.
“We’ve got no concerns about any of that, Ella.
Our primary concern has been about you. About how you’re coping.
I’d have reached out before, but you weren’t online, and we are never an organisation to seek contact outside of the app, or through anyone associated with you.
Still, I know you’ve got a good support system.
I know people will have been taking care of you. ”
She’s spot on with that, but of course she would be. She knows Josh, and Tiff, and Ebony. Bodica and Harlot.
My voice hitches as I smile.
“I really wanted to reach out to you. I just… I was so worried. I thought my account would be blocked. And I didn’t want to see that. It would have been too much.”
She laughs a little. “Blocking one of our key performer’s accounts because a wannabe rockstar made some unsubstantiated claims?
No. You don’t need to worry about that. Rumours happen constantly in our industry, and dropping our valued entertainers on the back of that isn’t our style.
If anything, we’ve been doing the complete opposite. ”
“The opposite? What do you mean?”
“We’ve been trying to take care of you behind the scenes.
The proposals in your inbox have been vetted before you’ve seen them, and the Users trying their luck at cashing in on said rumours have been sent strict account warnings.
You are Holly here, at The Agency. Not Ella.
You will be treated as Holly, the entertainer, and nothing more. ”
My mind whirs through her words.
“So Users have been recognising me? Wanting to book me because of Connor?”
“Some of them, yes. Not too many, luckily. As you know, we are very strict when it comes to our vetting process. Most of our Users value their own privacy and anonymity far too much to exploit a leak in yours.”
I see the colour coming back into my ghostly pale cheeks onscreen.
“I don’t know what to say, other than thank you. Thank you so much.”
“There’s more as well,” she says. “We aren’t just leaving it at that.”
I have no clue what she’s talking about. I look blank as I stare at the O onscreen.
“More?”
“Yes. We’re also doing what we can outside of direct engagement with Users.
The Agency is a very well connected organisation behind the scenes.
A social media breakout like Connor’s can be hard to contain, but we have our fingers in a lot of pies when it comes to more traditional forms of news outlet.
Give it some time, Ella. We have had things in motion, but outbreaks still take time to get under control. ”
My mind whirs afresh. I remember the idiot estate agent who first showed me around the Belgravia apartments when I was a new entertainer, and then tried to blackmail me when he got a sniff of what I did for a living. He was fired from his role almost immediately when The Agency caught wind of it.
I know they have power, but with something like this. As explosive as Connor going viral. I don’t know what she means.
“When you say traditional forms of news outlets. You mean like newspapers?” I ask. “News stuff online? TV shows?”
“The media in general. It has many outlets.”
I think of Belgravia, and how the paps have left it barren recently. Tiff told us so. I wonder if…
“Connor is making things a lot easier of his own accord,” Orla says. “He’s creating plenty of new outbreaks to draw the camera lenses the other way.”
I know exactly what she’s talking about on that front. I let out a sigh.
“Lucky for me Connor is such a goddamn fucking prick. You wouldn’t believe his ego, honestly. It was inflated enough already, back in Camden. I can’t even imagine what a twat he is now.”
“Oh, he’s being a twat, alright,” Orla says. “As I alluded to, we have fingers in a lot of pies. And the ammunition is building.”
My attention is piqued. I stare at the blank screen as my heart thumps faster.
“You mean you’re watching him? The Agency?”
“Let’s say we have connections who are.”
Her words sound so knowing. Almost… sinister. But I stay out of that. I have no care left whatsoever for my utter dickhead of an ex. No compassion, no empathy, no hidden regrets or concerns.
“As I said,” Orla continues. “Give it some time. Stay patient, that’s all I ask, and maintain your loyalty to The Agency.”
“I will do, and my loyalty is unshakable. And I love being back at work. I can’t get enough of it.”
She laughs, and wow, I’ve missed her. She’s been there for me right from the start of my entertainer journey. My primary contact.
“Good job, Holly. Keep on getting those five-star reviews. I’ll still be monitoring the incoming proposals, don’t worry, and I’ll also re-open your account to your regulars, if you’d like?”
To my regulars…
I get another rollercoaster lurch at her words, because I was beginning to wonder if it was a simple coincidence.
Of all my incoming proposals in the past few days, my main clients have been silent.
And I miss them. I miss them all. Daddy, Mr Monthly, Jack and Eric, Mr Chase-Me-Through-Cow-Poop. So many clients I’m pining for.
Just not as much as Heath.
Just a glimmer of thought about him brings the rollercoaster lurch back so fast, I feel sick.
“I’d love to have my regulars’ proposals hitting my inbox,” I tell her. “Familiar faces will be very welcome. I feel like I’ve been living in a cave to be honest, cut off from the world. It’s been horrible.”
“No surprise to me. It must have been hell. Where are you now?”
“An Airbnb north of the city. Tucked at the back of a residential street in the suburbs. It’s only small. Inconspicuous.” I take a breath before I dare to carry on. “When you said to um, have patience, and that you have fingers in pies and all that, does that mean…”
“Does that mean what, darling? That you don’t have to stay in an Airbnb for the rest of your life?”
I nod, a fresh pang rising up, and there’s a lump at the back of my throat. Part relief, part missing people, part appreciation. Beyond words.
“I just want to go home,” I choke. “At some point, I mean. I just want to go home.”
“Yes, I can imagine.” She sighs. “Take that back actually, I probably can’t. I have no idea how shit it would be to have your whole life uprooted like that.”
“Do you think I’ll be able to go home at some point? Tiff keeps telling us that the reporters have gone, and that we should go back.”
“Creamgirl is very… confident. Determined.”
I laugh at that.
“Ballsy and prepared to stick a middle finger up at anyone who needs one, you mean? Yeah, I know. I love her.”
“So do we. But, again, I’d suggest a little bit of patience. It’s your call, and your decision to make, but I’d personally hold off awhile. The Belgravia towers are quite high profile. Easy to observe while people are still keen to watch them.”
“I get it. We’ll stay clear until things have eased up a bit. Hopefully not too much longer if Connor keeps being a douche, hey?”
I know she’s smiling when I hear her happy sigh.
“No, hopefully not too much longer. He’s keeping the spotlight firmly on his own drama. But in the meantime, you don’t have to restrict yourself to one Airbnb, right? There isn’t exactly a shortage in the city. Live it up. Enjoy yourself. Keep it varied. Both at home as well as work.”
Enjoy myself. It’s a phrase that wouldn’t even have occurred to me a few weeks ago.
“I’m just tweaking your inbox on the system,” Orla says. “Your regulars will have access again… now.”
A well of joy opens up inside me. I hope I get to see all of them. Every single one.
If they still want me.
“Thank you,” I say to Orla. “Honestly, I’ll never be able to show my appreciation enough. The Agency is beyond amazing. It’s opened up so many doors I’d have never even dreamt of, and to know that’s not going away is…” I look at the ceiling. “It’s such a relief.”
“I’m glad,” she tells me. “Any problems with clients whatsoever, come to me and I’ll take a look into it. I’m always just a message away.”
“You’re amazing. Thank you, Orla.”
“Oh, and just one more thing,” she says. “It might not just be me checking in on you, now you’re back in action. You might get a certain proposal come in, too. The founders are… always keen to investigate matters.”
My breath hitches at that. The founders.
The founders of The Agency. The powers behind the scenes.
Oh my God. Handling that kind of a proposal feels a lifetime away.
A sleep mask at a workshop has nothing on the kind of anonymity they demand during a proposal. And being double-spannered has nothing on their scale of extremity.
“I look forward to it,” I tell Orla, and wave as she ends the call.
I flop back against the cushions in relief. Josh’s comment about monsters growing in the shadows is true. Mine have been growing out of control since Connor’s stupid song. It’s time I learnt to stand firm. To be myself and stare demons in the eye, trusting my own strength to cope with the darkness.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Mine was just out of view, and I was too scared to look for it.
Not anymore.
Josh steps out of the tiny bathroom with a towel around his waist.
“Went ok?”
“Went better than ok. Orla is amazing.”
“Great stuff, I knew she would be.”
I shuffle up so he can sit beside me, and run my fingers down his wet abs.
“I tell you what else will be amazing,” I say with a grin.
“What’s that?”
“A double shower.” I pick my phone back up. “Let’s get looking for a new Airbnb. It’s time to move on.”