Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
All three of us are all sexed out by the time dawn breaks. Nothing but a loving tangle of limbs in the huge hotel suite bed. My pussy and ass are aching with the kind of pain that makes my soul soar as Heath gets up and makes us a coffee.
I watch him as he stirs our black Americanos and adds two sugars to mine. His ripped back, his long glossy cascade of hair, black and sweaty after a night of action. His ass perfectly toned, with dips just above his ass cheeks.
As much as I’m grateful for the caffeine, I hate it when he hands my mug over and takes a robe from the wardrobe and wraps himself up.
Our proposal is coming to end.
The night is done, and the day is looming.
I want to stay locked away in this suite for ever, the three of us savouring each other’s company as well as each other’s bodies.
I want to laugh with Heath, chat with him, chill out in the blazing sun with him like we did in Cannes.
I want all three of us to be able to skip around Maidstone together like regular people, checking out the sights.
Chain stores, or eerie little churches, the context wouldn’t matter, just so long as the three of us were free to be ourselves.
One of us has to bring up the topic at some point. What happens next? Where do we go from here?
It’s Heath whose expression changes, turning serious as he clears his throat and takes a seat at the table by the window.
“Come, sit, join me,” he says, and Josh and I do so gladly, coffee mugs still full as we place them on the table and grab complimentary hotel robes.
“Let’s get it out there,” Heath starts. “I’m not willing to go anywhere near that long before I see you both again. I don’t want any more declines coming my way. Don’t even think about it. I want the very opposite.”
I get another whip of guilt. The last thing I’d ever want to do would be to push him away. Not in a billion years. But Josh and I spoke about this. We chewed this situation out between us before we came.
Back to normal. That’s what we both agreed would be the best thing to happen. But what does back to normal look like anymore? I have no fucking idea. Not really.
Being in this hotel suite for just one single night has spun things out and ramped them up.
The rush of emotions has twisted me up inside, so I look to Josh, the ever-loving boyfriend, for the answer.
He’s the level headed one. The rational one.
The strong willed rock of a man, with everyone’s best interests at heart.
“We aren’t going to decline any more proposals,” Josh tells Heath. “We just need to be careful now. Really careful. If word got out about you…”
“So, you mean I need to be careful.” Heath groans as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Stop this crap now, Josh. My decisions are mine to make, not yours.”
Josh’s eyes lock on Heath’s, holding strong.
“Yes, they are, but those decisions affect all of us, not just you.”
Heath shoves his coffee mug away from him.
“Is that some kind of code for piss off and book in another slot like any other client? Just like nothing ever happened?”
“There is no piss off about anything when it comes to us and you,” Josh says. “There never would be.”
“That’s not exactly how it’s been coming across of late.”
The two men face off. The tension thrums in the air.
“Sorry,” Heath says. “We’ve been through this enough. I’m just fucked off by the whole sorry lot of it.”
“Ditto,” Josh replies, and I nod.
“Same,” I say. “It’s shit. Absolutely shit.”
Heath sighs.
“So, what do we do?”
“We go back to normal,” Josh says. “We’re just more careful about it from now on.”
“Go back to normal?” Heath scoffs. “That’s the card you’re playing here? Are you shitting me?”
Josh shrugs. “Why is that such a travesty? We were all going great together, no problems whatsoever until Ella got thrown into the shit by Connor and made public.”
Heath’s shoulders tense. I see it, even through his fluffy robe.
“Cannes wasn’t fucking normal, Josh. It wasn’t just a single-nighter with a see you later at the end of it. We were all in fucking tears at the villa before you left for the airport. I’m not just a regular client who books a slot in your calendar for some ass play. Don’t put me down as one.”
“Of course you’re not. You never were.”
Silence.
All three of us sit in silence.
Heath is right. Of course he is. Cannes was anything but normal.
“We can always book in longer proposals,” Josh suggests when the silence reaches its peak. “We just need to make sure they’re private. This one worked great, didn’t it? We had loads of fun, even if you did starve my asshole.”
Heath laughs a bitter laugh, staring out of the window.
“I was sitting here holed up for three days straight before you checked in, so as not to attract attention.” He shakes his head. “Fuck random city locations and suites down the corridor from each other. I want you to be back at my place. Home. Not in a hotel in the middle of nowhere.”
Josh reaches for Heath’s hands across the table, grabbing them in a squeeze.
“Hey, so do we. But what if we get caught on the way to yours? What if one of the paps gets a picture of two hookers turning up at your house for a filth fest? It would be absolutely fucking devastating.”
Heath looks at me now, not Josh.
“What do you think, sweet curva? How would you feel if you got caught on the way to my place? Got snapped by the paps on the way to service The Count? Because that’s what I’m known as.
A fucking vampire on the show. It’s just a job, the same as anyone else’s.
My social media presence is full of Nighttime Whispers news and snippets, nothing more.
I don’t even bother looking at it, people manage it for me. ”
I take a breath.
“I’d feel terrible if I got recognised on the way to your place.
If you had to go through what I did, trolled online and chased by a hate mob, I’d feel horrible for it.
It would be a million times worse for you than it ever was for me.
You wouldn’t just disappear into the woodwork like it never happened once the dust settled.
Your name would be associated with mine for ever. Heath and the hooker.”
Another bout of silence.
Three minds churning as my guts lurch.
Josh finishes up his coffee and puts his mug down.
“This needs a lot of thought, from all three of us. Not just a conversation in a random hotel room when we’re all still reeling from seeing each other again.
” He looks at me, then to Heath, locking onto Heath’s gorgeous eyes.
“At least tell me I’m right on that one.
Let’s do it this way. You think, we think, we come back together and we work it out. ”
“Great. Excellent,” Heath says. “We all have a jolly good think and come back together to work it out? Alright, Mr Rational. How about we get a project planner and map out some pros and cons when we do? We could all put some bullets points on it, for consideration. Maybe even have a talking spoon and take turns presenting our case around the table.”
Josh gets unusually flustered, his eyebrows raised high. He holds up his hands in frustration, and I squeeze his knee under the table, letting him know I’m feeling it, too.
We all are.
“Fuck sake, Heath,” he says. “This isn’t the best time to be making life choices.
Emotions are heavy right now, we’re working on no sleep, all of us going mad because we’ve missed this so much.
” He reaches for Heath’s hands again. “We need time, all of us. Clear heads. Then we can make plans that work, for all three of us.”
I nod, because I agree with him on that. If I was being true to my heart’s calling, I’d throw my arms around both Heath and Josh and say we all needed to be together, no matter what, but I need to follow Josh’s lead with some degree of sanity, because if Heath went through even half of what I did…
It doesn’t even bear thinking about.
“Fine. You win,” Heath says, and drops Josh’s hands.
He gets up from the table and heads across to the dresser, the animosity like a dark cloud.
“Let’s get us booked in for another proposal.
Another crappy hotel room, yes? Play it nice and cool.
I’ll be sure to tick some boxes this time, shall I? Set out the specifics in stone.”
“That isn’t how it is,” Josh replies. “Stop being a prick, Heath. We’re all feeling the same. Sick at the thought of leaving. I’m just about managing to keep my head together.”
Heath’s glare softens when he hears the emotion in Josh’s voice. Part of me screams inside, because this is so shit. So fucking sad.
“Alright,” he says, with less snarky sarcasm in his tone. “Let’s do it. Let’s get it booked in.”
Heath gets his phone, sighing as he taps at the screen.
Josh’s pings as soon as Heath has filled in a proposal form. He turns the screen to our client in a heartbeat with the accept button pressed. Seeing it on The Agency app like that feels so distant again, even though we’ve been closer than we have in months.
We schedule in the nearest possible date for all three of us. Just a week to wait this time. Venue to be decided.
“I need to get out of here soon,” Heath says. “I have a PR photo shoot tomorrow. I have to prepare for it.”
My guts lurch so bad it physically hurts. I’m plunging on the downward curve of a rollercoaster, dropping from the clouds, but at least I can see another high in the distance this time. That’s enough to keep hold of.
“I’m going to miss you every single second,” I tell my idol when I’m back in my stilettos, ready for the tragic walk down the corridor.
He holds me tight, crushing me in his vampiric arms.
“Me too, my sweet curva. Me, too.”
I watch Josh’s goodbye hug with a lump in my throat. Josh can play Mr Rational all he likes, and he needs to, but I know his heart is crying.