21. Ashley
21
ASHLEY
I run a hand through my hair as I pace around the new interior of lot sixteen. After the long break, I’m more antsy than ever to get back to work.
Ginger has been ignoring me, other than to respond with a Merry Christmas when I wished her a happy holiday. And that’s only because she’s polite. I don’t even mind the glares she keeps giving me, as long as she engages with me, but she’s barely glanced at me since I spouted off something stupid to her.
I just—I just didn’t anticipate how deeply those monstrous green claws would dig in when the guys asked her to marry them. Even though I knew they weren’t even halfway serious.
And it’s been a real shitty few weeks.
I can feel the shift when she walks down from the office. She must be bringing us all something that won’t keep as well in the fridge. Otherwise, she waits for lunch to visit. To be less distracting is what she always says.
Rubbing my chest, I wish I could take it back, but I’d been the one dumb enough to say it. Out loud. To her. In front of everyone.
I am such an asshole.
I grit my teeth at the way she flirts and smiles with everyone, and the genuine joy on their faces as they taste what she brought them.
God, I miss the way she slapped my chest when I teased her.
When she saunters up to me, my chest tightens. There’s only the electrician up here besides me right now, and I don’t want her to pass me by. So, I lie in wait upstairs.
It’s probably stupid, but I need to say what’s been running through my brain for the last week after I stopped trying to convince myself the whole thing wasn’t as bad as it really was.
I don’t want to be that guy.
Tracking her potential movements with bated breath, I brace when I know she’s near. I’m leaning against the master bathroom doorjamb, completely aware of how conspicuous I look.
Ginger steps into the master bedroom and turns to face me with the box of food in her hands. Her eyes go dark as they meet mine, and the fact that she’s still this angry with me makes my heart lift a little.
She wouldn’t be mad if she didn’t like me. Right?
Gah. No, that’s probably stupid.
I spring forward as she turns to go, ready to ice me out again. My hand is around her arm, but I try not to grab a hold of her. “Wait. Please.”
She stops stiffly and looks me straight in the eyes. “I don’t want to…”
“Stop. Don’t. Please.” I hold my hands up. “I was an asshole.”
“And it took you two weeks to figure that out?” God, the fire in her as she snaps back at me. I want more of it.
Taking a deep breath, I shake my head. “No. I knew it pretty much immediately, but I’ve only just now gained enough courage to say so.”
Her laugh doesn’t sound happy.
“I don’t usually screw things up this quickly.” And…I didn’t mean to say that.
Finally, a small hint of sympathy reaches her eyes.
“Tell me what to do to get my mischief elf back.” Because I have no ideas other than groveling and promising not to do it again. But I don’t really know how to do that properly, either. I have no clue what to say.
Ginger dissects me with those bright blue eyes. It’s like she sees my every flaw and weakness. Real fear thrums through me that she’s going to dismiss me as not worth the trouble. Just like every woman before her has done.
Because sure, I can flirt, be charming enough for a night to convince a woman she wants to sleep with me. I have a job to pay for her drinks. The ability to listen. The preliminary package looks great.
Nobody’s ever wanted a serious upgrade before.
If Ginger decides that I’m not dating material, she’ll be confirming what every woman’s told me before her. I’m going to spend my life alone, begging for scraps.
Her mouth twists to the side.
“I was jealous.”
The soft snort that comes out of her eases the clamp around my heart and lungs. “No shit.”
“Tell me what to do.”
Posture changing, her guard lowers. “Want to try one of the new chocolate cheesecake bars I made?”
I laugh and nod as she opens the box. “Yes. I really do.”
It’s an olive branch. Or it’s a sign she’s taking mine? I don't know, but it feels like a step in the right direction.
I bite into the thing the moment I have it in my hand, and fuck …it melts in my mouth and is a mix of soft, sweet cream cheese and dark, bitter chocolate with this silky hint of fudge.
“Holy fucking shit. Say you’ll marry me, and I’ll go out and buy a ring right now.” Her hand meets my chest. Just like I’ve been missing.
The thing is, I will go and get one if she says yes. It’s only a joke if she says no.
“We have a ways to go before I’ll be taking any declarations of marriage seriously.” Ginger drops her fingers from my chest. It’s too soon. I want them back.
“So, you think…maybe next week?” I give her my sheepish smile. I hope it’s something to make me look more boyish rather than the nearly forty-year-old man that I am.
“We’ll see.”
She doesn’t run off, so I know there’s more to be said. But do I wait her out or grovel some more? I choose option one, finishing the cheesecake bar she gave me and sucking the remnants off my thumb.
A flip of her hair off her shoulder has me straightening up. Her head tilts. She looks like she’s calculating what to do. I feel as ifshe decides my fate.
“I’ll wipe the slate clean if you take me on a date.” The challenge is clear in her eyes, but it’s not the request I’d been expecting.
This seems more like a reward than a punishment.
Or maybe, my punishment is over, and this is a test.
“You’ve got it.” My heart hammers against my breastbone.
“You’d better make it something special.” Her pause twists something sharp inside me. “And you’d better make it soon.”
God, please. Don’t let me screw this up.