35. Maeve
MAEVE
The rest of the party passes by in a haze.
I’m sure it’s easier for the men to focus. All three of them actually know people here from past Christmas visits and years of growing up together. But I don’t know anybody other than Ford’s family, so it’s impossible for me to form real connections with anyone.
Although I suspect the whole party would still be a blur anyway, even if I knew every single person here and considered each of them a close friend.
It’s impossible to concentrate on anyone or anything other than these three men.
There’s the rest of the white elephant exchange, and then we all gather around the piano to sing Christmas carols, and there’s more food, and chatting, and a game of charades for anyone who wants to play.
Then one of those games where you stick the name of a character on your forehead and you don’t know who you are, but everyone else does, so you have to ask questions and they help you figure it out.
It’s all genuinely fun, if a little overwhelming. There are just so many people here. But it’s exactly the kind of Christmas party I always imagined while growing up, full of laughter, good food, and cheer.
But the whole time, I can’t think properly. I keep replaying what happened with Ford and Hayden—and what Gabriel proposed.
What I accepted.
I stay close to Ford’s side, playing the role of his devoted fiancée. Part of it is that I think I should, to help sell our story. The other part is that I don’t want someone trying to flirt with me and pull me away from him.
If what Hayden said was true—if I really am someone that people find attractive and want to flirt with—then I’ve been oblivious all this time.
I wish I’d known. I could’ve broken things off with Liam so much sooner, walked through life with more confidence.
My inability to date these past couple years has partly been due to my demanding job, and I’m sure that wouldn’t have changed.
But knowing that I could date, that I don’t have to be grateful every time a man bothers to take me to dinner… that would have changed everything.
Now, though, I only want the attention of three very specific men. I refuse to make Ford look bad or give any other man the impression that he has a chance with me. And since apparently I can’t tell when I’m being flirted with, sticking to Ford like glue seems like the safest strategy.
Ford keeps touching me in small ways throughout the evening, and of course he should as my supposed fiancé, but it feels different now. More intimate than before.
Because he’s touched you everywhere now, a voice in my head whispers.
And god, he really did. Him and Hayden both. And I want Gabriel to do the same. I want all three of them.
I wonder what everyone around us would think if they knew what we’d done at this very party, in a room just down the hall while they all talked and laughed. If they knew what Gabriel proposed right in front of them, but quietly enough that they couldn’t hear. What we all agreed to.
Part of me is terrified that when we get back to the house, one or all of them will decide this was ridiculous. A stupid, reckless idea that’s going to get us all hurt. And maybe it will hurt me. I know myself—I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. But Gabriel is right about what he said.
This is my first real Christmas. I should get to enjoy it. I should get to have what I want. This will be my Christmas present to myself, to make up for all those years I had to spend alone at home, pinching pennies.
And if Ford, Hayden, and Gabriel are truly okay with sharing… if they all genuinely want me… and I want them… it’s not like I’m ever going to get another opportunity like this.
After this holiday, I’m going to take the money Ford pays me and erase my debt, put a down payment on a place, and start my restaurant.
That’s going to be my life. And I’m going to be happy with it, but it won’t include these three incredible, sexy, confident men.
I’m sure I’ll find someone else eventually—at least, I hope I will—but that someone won’t be them.
He won’t be these jaw-droppingly attractive, successful, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime men who used to be my bosses.
I should take this opportunity. I should let myself have what I want, something the Maeve of just a few weeks ago never would have dreamed was possible.
For once in my life, I feel like I deserve this. I deserve something sexy and fun and amazing. I get to be the girl who has the adventure, not the less attractive friend watching from the sidelines.
I smile and laugh at all the appropriate moments, mostly on autopilot.
I think Ford might be running on autopilot too.
He’s touching me constantly, always has a hand on me somewhere, and several times he kisses my cheek.
It’s sweet, but not really necessary for our act.
We’re definitely one of the more affectionate couples at this party.
My body is buzzing with anticipation by the time we’re finally heading home. This whole day has felt like a wild fantasy I might indulge in while lying in bed—not something that actually happens to people, especially people like me.
We get back to the house late, and everyone’s yawning as we say our goodnights.
Elaine hugs me and gushes about how everyone loved me and all the compliments she received about me.
Charles gives me what seems to be an approving look as he says goodnight.
I guess with how well I did at the party, I finally passed his test.
We head upstairs to our bedrooms—to the room I share with Ford.
I’m hyperaware of him as we enter the room together, like a live wire ready to spark.
There’s this crackling energy between us that feels like it might electrocute me.
I was already conscious of him before, but now it’s so much more intense.
Now we’ve actually been together. We’ve crossed that line.
He knows what my body feels and looks like—and I know the same about him.
Even so, I can’t help turning away from him as I get ready for bed. I can’t tell if he sneaks glances or not. I do, stealing furtive looks from the corner of my eye.
He’s so handsome it’s almost unreal. And he wants me. So does Hayden. So does Gabriel.
We finish our bedtime routines and climb into bed. I’m actually pretty exhausted from everything that happened today, but I’m not sure how to act now. I try to stick to my side of the bed, although I think building a wall of pillows might be going too far at this point.
Ford looks at me with amusement dancing in his eyes and pulls me close, spooning me against his chest.
My heart skips a beat.
“Like I said the first night,” Ford murmurs, drawing his nose up the length of my neck like he did when we kissed in the hallway, “I won’t bite unless you want me to.”
I shiver involuntarily. I’m already pulsing between my legs—who knew that barely touching my neck like that would be such a turn-on?
Ford does, apparently. He and Hayden seem to know my body, understand my desires, and so does Gabriel, like they’ve been studying me.
I like to think I’ve gotten to know them well over the past two years of working together.
It just never occurred to me that they would care enough to pay such close attention to me in return.
Ford picks up on my reaction, and I feel his teeth graze ever so lightly against the spot where my pulse thunders in my neck before he rolls me underneath him and kisses me properly.
I spread my legs automatically, welcoming him on top of me.
He feels so warm and solid and heavy, pinning me to the mattress.
And god, he really is an incredible kisser.
It’s been forever since I made out with someone and just enjoyed that instead of rushing to the main event.
I’d forgotten how amazing it could be, especially with a partner who actually knows what they’re doing with their tongue.
And Ford definitely knows what he’s doing with his tongue.
I’m getting seriously turned on, my body heating up all over, my breath coming fast and burning in my lungs.
I can feel Ford getting hard against my hip through his pajama pants, his cock pressing into me.
I remember what it felt like inside me earlier, and the memory makes me squirm as my clit begs for friction.
We break apart for a moment, and I gulp in air, my nipples hardening. “I had no idea when you walked in on Hayden and me that it would lead to this.”
“Oh?” Ford kisses along my jaw, making me arch into him.
“I couldn’t tell what you were thinking at first.”
“Who says I was capable of thinking? That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed.”
I have a question, but I’m scared to ask it. Scared of what the answer might be. Ford seems so confident and casual about all this. I can’t help wondering…
Ford pulls back slightly, his brow furrowing with concern. “What is it?”
“I was just… wondering. Have you ever done this before? Shared a woman?”
To be honest, I’m not thrilled with the idea.
Obviously all three of these men have sexual experience.
So do I. I don’t have a problem with that.
But the thought that this might be a regular thing for them, where they routinely share women and pass them around…
that makes me feel a little sick inside.
I know this isn’t anything more than holiday fun, but the idea of being the latest in a long line makes me feel small and insignificant all over again.
I’m not expecting a real engagement or anything, but it would be nice to think that I’m special in some way.
“No,” Ford admits, and my heart lifts. “This will be a first for all of us. Will that be a problem?” He gives me a teasing look. “I think Hayden and I figured things out pretty well earlier.”
I laugh, relief flooding through me. “Oh, you definitely did. Trust me, I wasn’t complaining about your… performance.”
“Good,” Ford growls, pressing me back down onto the bed as he kisses me again.
I arch my hips up, spreading my legs wider in invitation. I want him so badly that I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve finally gotten a taste and now I’m starving for more.
But instead of taking things further, Ford pulls back. He’s flushed and breathing hard, and I can feel how aroused he is, so I know he wants this as much as I do. But he doesn’t let me pull him back down.
“I think it’s time we got some rest.” He gently tucks my hair back from my face. I can see him reining himself in, getting his control back. “You were sick yesterday, and you’ve had a long and… physically demanding day.”
He winks at me, but then his expression turns serious again. “You need sleep.”
“I really feel up for it,” I say, blushing hard.
“Look at it this way—you need to save your energy. I saw how Hayden and Gabriel were looking at you tonight. You’re going to need it.”
His words are playful, but he sounds genuinely concerned about my wellbeing.
I’m touched. I really do feel fine and more than ready for another round, but it has been an incredibly long and overwhelming day.
Ford looking out for me feels… caring. Like he sees me as more than just a hookup. It’s sweet.
I worry that sleep won’t come, given everything that happened and how my mind is still racing.
But the exhaustion of the day really does catch up with me, and I fall asleep quickly and easily next to the man who was my boss, then my fake fiancé, and now…
well, I suppose the best word is ‘fuck buddy.’
That doesn’t quite fit either, but I’m asleep before I can think of something better.