Chapter 61
From: [email protected]
To: Grumpy Boss, Grumpy Boss, Boss Man
Subject: Official Notice of Resignation
Dear Mr. Russo, Mr. Laurent, and Mr. Kingsley,
I would like to take this opportunity to formally thank you for the professional development opportunities provided during my tenure as Executive Assistant. I can honestly say this position has opened doors I never knew existed and has been highly educational in ways I didn't anticipate.
However, the time has come to submit my formal notice of resignation from Meridian Ventures, effective immediately. While this decision was not made lightly, I believe it will result in a more mutually beneficial arrangement for all parties involved.
In related news, I am pleased to accept your joint offer for the position of "girlfriend" (benefits package to be negotiated). Please find my salary requirements attached - note the emphasis on regular meal provisions and adequate time off for recreational activities.
Respectfully yours,
Maeve Keller
Former Executive Assistant
Future... other things
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Couldn't resist updating our contact names one last time before you left, could you?
Your resignation is accepted. Welcome to your new position.
~H
P.S. - "Grumpy Boss"? Really?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], Ford, Hayden
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Ms. Keller,
Upon review of your salary requirements, I note an unusual emphasis on "unlimited coffee" and "Ford buys lunch." I assume our colleague is to blame for these specific demands?
Your resignation is accepted with regret (professional) and enthusiasm (personal).
Regards,
Gabriel
From: [email protected]
To: Spitfire, Hayden, Gabriel
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Maeve,
Your resignation as Executive Assistant is accepted effective immediately. Your application for the girlfriend position has been unanimously approved by all relevant parties.
Now stop sending emails and get home so we can properly celebrate your career transition.
Best Regards,
Ford Kingsley
CEO, Meridian Ventures
Your new boss (in entirely different ways)
From: [email protected]
To: My Favorite Former Bosses
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Ford - I love how you're still trying to boss me around even though I technically don't work for you anymore.
-M
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], Ford, Gabriel
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
As if you don't love it when we boss you around.
~H
From: [email protected]
To: My Favorite Former Bosses
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Hayden - okay, fair point. I do enjoy it.
-M
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], Ford, Hayden
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Then get your ass home, petit oiseau doux. Now.
From: [email protected]
To: My Favorite Former Bosses
Subject: Re: Official Notice of Resignation
Already in the elevator.
Fair warning: I'm expecting a very thorough performance review for my new position.
-M