Chapter 10
TEN
NICK
Nick was just about to head inside the Community Kitchen, pulling at the tight collar and tie at his neck as he did so, when he heard a commotion from the car park. He hesitated, wondering whether it was any of his business, but then heard a woman's voice. Peering around the edge of the building, through the semi-darkness he saw the back of a woman in a green dress with her hair in a dishevelled topknot. Standing opposite her was a man who, through the shadows, looked to have his fists ground into his eyes. Was he… crying? Nick chewed his lip. Was he walking in on a private argument?
‘Alex, I’m so sorry…’ he heard the woman say.
‘For fuck’s sake!’ said the man in a muted scream, his hands still covering his face. ‘What did you do that for?’
‘I panicked. Oh God, are you okay?’ She went towards him, arms outstretched, but he turned away. They both went quiet for a moment. ‘Hang on,’ she said, so softly that Nick could barely hear. ‘Why are you even here? Were you… following me ?’
The man didn’t reply, his face turned away, breathing heavily. What was going on here?
She took a step back, still facing away from Nick, and put her hands in her already chaotic hair. Her voice was fire and ice. ‘I can’t believe this. You were checking up on me…’
She was about to turn around, so Nick whipped back around the corner of the building, feeling a twinge of guilt for listening in. It definitely seemed to be a couple’s disagreement that he had no business getting involved in, so, satisfied that the woman was in no danger, he slipped away and went into the Kitchen.
Never a dull moment at the Community Kitchen .
He scanned the crowd to see if he could see Edie. The email he’d found was tucked away in his sock drawer at home, but it might as well have been on fire in his hand, burning his fingertips, for all the good it did to try and forget it. He hadn’t stopped thinking about it, not even when he'd pretended to Travis and his nanna that nothing was amiss.
‘Oh, here he is!’ exclaimed Nanna as he approached. ‘Come and give me a cuddle, sunshine.’ She pulled him down to her for a hug, and he squeezed her gently, feeling a confusing mix of comfort and resentment.
‘You missed my reporter friend,’ she said. ‘The one I wanted you to meet last time she was here. Cath said she just saw her go.’
‘Not to worry, all’s forgiven for the bookcase,’ he said, gritting his teeth. If it hadn't been for the books going flying, he’d never have seen the email, and right now he half wished that he hadn’t.
‘Come on then, let’s get you some buffet. I think the vol-au-vents are all gone though.’
She was right, the vol-au-vents had all gone, but there were a few sandwiches and slices of quiche left. Nick picked up a piece of cheese-and-tomato quiche and crammed it into his mouth in one bite. His nanna was right on one count – he could do with feeding. He was hungrier than he’d realised.
‘Nicholas! Manners,’ she said, handing him a paper plate and a napkin.
In a fit of, admittedly childish, rebellion against her mollycoddling – and probably more than just that, if he was honest – he grabbed a sandwich from the platter marked ‘Chicken’ and stuffed the whole triangle in his mouth in one go too. He chewed quickly, reaching for another, but recoiled at the taste. It didn’t taste like chicken. It didn’t taste like chicken at all. He looked at the label on the platter again.
‘Nanna,’ he said, feeling his throat start to itch. ‘There aren’t any prawn sandwiches here, are there?’
‘There were, but they all got eaten. What are you after those for anyway? You’re allergic. That’s why I told Cath to label the plates.’
Nick swallowed, feeling a thickness at the back of his mouth that hadn’t been there before. The skin on his neck began to feel hot and itchy, his lips tingling.
‘Nicky?’ said Nanna. ‘What’s the matter?’
Nick loosened his tie and tried to breathe deeply. ‘Prawns.’
Nanna shot a sharp look at the plates. ‘Oh hell. Nicky, where’s your EpiPen?’
In the flat . His breathing grew threadier, and the room started to sway. In the flat … twenty minutes drive away . His throat felt like it was almost completely closed.
Then the lights started to fade, and the floor rushed up to meet him.
What followed next was like a series of blurry snapshots. Panicked darkness punctured, literally, with the sting of an injection to his thigh. Relief, blessed air, a thumping headache. Then wooziness, feeling like he was drifting in and out of sleep as he jostled around in the back of an ambulance. Travis sitting with his chin on steepled fingers nearby. Then a hospital bed, with his nanna beside it, her mouth a grim line.
‘Eeh, pet, what are we going to do with you?’ she said, sounding weary.
Nick blinked into the harsh light of the A&E cubicle and winced. His head still throbbed from the adrenaline, and he felt like he might be sick.
‘What have I told you about leaving your EpiPen at home?’ she chided.
He closed his eyes again. What the hell was wrong with him? It was like something up there was determined to see him maimed or worse. Either that, or he needed to stop being so distracted by things and watch what he was doing a bit more. His mind cast back to nearly swallowing that coin, getting electrocuted, being flattened by a bookcase. That bloody bookcase. ‘Nanna, I found the email from my dad.’
It had escaped from him almost against his will. Whether it was the drugs or the quiet, or just being unable to contain it anymore, he didn’t know.
Her hand tightened on his arm, almost imperceptibly. ‘I see,’ she said. ‘And where did you find that?’ Her tone was light, but her voice had lost its usual composure.
‘I… didn’t go snooping, if that’s what you think. It was under the spare bed, in a book that must have fallen out of the bookcase when that journo—’ He sighed. ‘That’s not really the point. I didn’t realise what it was until I’d opened it.’
‘But you opened it.’
Nick paused, feeling at once guilty and indignant. ‘I did. And I’m sorry, but I had no idea. I thought it might be an old bill or something.’
‘Nicholas, you had no right…’ she began, but her voice cracked, and he realised that she was on the verge of tears.
He sat up quickly, full of concern, but a blinding pain in his head stopped him from fully getting up. He pressed his palms against his throbbing eyes.
‘Nanna, I’m sorry. I really am,’ he whispered through clenched teeth. ‘But I’ve seen it now, so I know he’s out there. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you give me the choice?’
She pursed her lips, which were now trembling, and her eyes were bright with tears. ‘Oh, I don’t know, pet. You were going through all that with Callie. It just didn’t seem the right time.’
‘So were you ever going to tell me?’
‘I thought about it.’
‘But you didn’t.’
She shook her head and finally looked him in the eye. ‘Nicky, I agonised over it. I really did. But that man showed no bloody interest this whole time, and then all of a sudden, he shows up out of nowhere. I… I wasn’t sure what his intentions might be.’
‘His intentions ? What does that even mean?’ As Nick’s voice raised so did the tenor of his headache, but the pain only frustrated him more. ‘Nanna, you should have told me!’
‘I needed to protect you,’ she said, her voice reedy.
‘From what? I’m a grown man.’
‘Oh, Nicky. You and your brother are my whole world. Your mam, though I love my daughter to high heaven, has put herself first when she should have been there for you two. And I’ve always tried to make sure that the two of you had as normal a life as possible. So some fella writing to me out of the blue from Capri , of all places, grubbing about for information… I just didn’t trust it.’
‘But it’s not up to you…’
‘That’s as may be. But I did what I thought was right.’
‘So is that all you’ve heard from him? That email?’
She folded her hands into her lap and looked down at them.
‘Nanna?’
She sighed. ‘There was another one. An address. He said he’d forgot to put it in the original email.’
‘So you know where he lives?’
She nodded stiffly.
‘Can I have it please?’
Just then, Travis came through the curtain holding two plastic cups filled with tea. Nick and Edie both flinched.
‘What’s going on?’ he asked.
‘Travis?’ Nick asked, not breaking eye contact with his nanna. ‘Have you got anyone who could cover your orders for a few days?’
‘Eh? Maybe… What are you talking about?’
‘Pack your Italian phrasebook. We’re going on a little holiday.’