Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
NICK
The funeral notice had stated ‘close family and friends only’ for the crematorium service, but the place was still packed to the rafters. Nick shifted in his seat, uncomfortable in his suit, rubbing his bare wrist. He’d looked high and low for his watch, but it still hadn’t turned up. Looking across the pew, he saw Travis’s matching watch glinting in the low light.
Travis leaned in. ‘If this is just the nearest and dearest, then I hope Cath’s laid on plenty of vol-au-vents for the wake.’
‘I know,’ said Nick, craning his head towards the ram-packed pews behind them. ‘Nanna would be mortified at the fuss.’
He turned back, rubbing at his sore neck. It was still aching a little from the vicious bout of flu that had seen him in bed for two days, but now it throbbed afresh. He and Travis, along with two of Edie’s friends from the Kitchen, had borne her coffin up the aisle. The physical weight was insignificant really – she’d been a tiny, waif-thin woman – so he wondered if the ache in his neck and shoulders was psychosomatic. An imprint of his last contact with his nanna lying heavily on his shoulders.
Her coffin was now on a plinth, surrounded by flowers, and Nick felt a rush of sorrow rising from somewhere in his belly, coursing up through his lungs and closing his throat. He hadn’t realised he’d made a sound until he felt his mam’s hand slide over his. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, clenched his jaw and coughed away his emotions.
The errant Tracey LaGrande – a stage name that had now become the only name she was known by – had sashayed into the arrivals lounge at Newcastle Airport early that morning, pulling a small suitcase behind her, along with a duty-free carrier bag loaded with Benson that he would find it in a jacket pocket or a travel bag, and then he could just chalk it up to an unfortunate coincidence.
Ruby appeared around the side of the building. She grabbed his hand. ‘Mammy says it’s time to go to the party,’ she said.
Nick gritted his teeth, staring after the retreating figure of Liam, heading towards the gates. It wasn’t the right time to dwell on it. For now, he had to attend the most depressing ‘party’ of his life.
The congregation entered the Community Kitchen through the main doors, which were festooned on either side by floral tributes, notes and trinkets from well-wishers. There were sealed letters, scrappy handwritten notes, flowers picked and tied with string, inexpensive petrol-station bouquets and some personal items ranging from scarves to sobriety tokens. Nick felt a lump in his throat seeing these meagre items – the people that she’d helped, or was still helping, had given some of their few possessions in tribute to his nanna.
Inside, the Kitchen was heaving with people. The staff had laid out trays of buffet fare, giving him flashbacks to the prawn-sandwich incident and the ensuing conversation with Edie at his hospital bed, which he hadn’t known would be one of their last. He cursed his father for something else – taking him on a fruitless wild goose chase that had robbed him of the last few days of his grandmother’s life. He shouldered his way through the crowd, stopping now and then to shake hands with people who knew he was Edie’s grandson.
He eventually made it to the back of the room and scanned around for Travis, of whom there was no sign. He needed to speak to him about Liam, and how he should be more careful about who he trusted, not just because of the missing watch but also due to the shady-sounding phone conversation he’d overheard. Who was he meeting on an industrial estate, and what kind of money were they going to talk about? Travis needed to stay well away from this lad.
He opened the door to the education suite, wondering if he could find him in there, but it was almost as busy as the main dining room. Laura was by the careers display with a glass of wine in hand, and she waved.
‘Thanks for coming,’ he said. He hadn’t had the chance to speak to her in the chapel. ‘It’s good of you.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t have missed it. Your nanna was always lovely to me, and I liked her a lot. How are you bearing up?’
‘I’m alright, Laur. Thanks.’ He could sense she wanted to dig deeper into his feelings, so he scoured his memory for a distraction. ‘Ruby’s still buzzing about the lighthouse.’
‘I’m not surprised. That tour guide had her wishing to be the next Grace Darling by the time he was finished.’
‘Tell me about it,’ said Nick, thinking back to a few days ago when he’d had a brief reprieve from funeral preparations.
Laura had come with them to the lighthouse – Nick had invited her along as she was at a loose end and was dropping Ruby off again anyway. For the whole car ride, Ruby chattered away about how excited she was and how much Ian the Lobster was going to enjoy it too. She held him up to look out of the window as they approached St Nicholas Lighthouse and parked up. She practically ran inside, with Laura and Nick following behind, and when he pointed her in the direction of the colouring sheets that had been laid out in the lobby, she simply pointed upwards.
‘You want to go to the top?’
She nodded.
‘Come on then, darlin’. Let’s go and see how many steps you can count.’
One hundred and thirty-seven steps later, they stood on the platform of the lighthouse gazing out at the sea. Ruby was transfixed, looking through the bars of the railings.
‘Anyway, how are you?’ Nick asked Laura while they rested their elbows on the ledge. ‘You still seeing that new fella?’
Her face lit up. ‘Yeah, I am.’
‘Funnily enough, I saw you both a while back, the day we took Ruby to the beach. In the bistro – you looked well loved up.’
‘Ha! Well, you might have witnessed a momentous step in our relationship.’ She grinned then took a deep breath. ‘He’s asked me to move in with him.’
‘Oh, really?’
She scrunched up her face. ‘Yeah. But you know me. Captain Cautious. I’ve asked him to give me a bit more time.’
‘Are you not sure then?’
‘I’m this close,’ she said, holding up her finger and thumb, millimetres apart. ‘He’s come out of a long-term relationship and I think their finances need unpicking. I don’t want to get in the middle of all that, but if he loves me, he’ll wait.’
‘Too bloody right. If he’s the right one, then he won’t go anywhere.’
He looked out at the sea and was reminded of Wren, she and him bobbing on the waves in their kayak. In the pit of his stomach, he felt a squeeze at what he’d just said to Laura. Maybe sometimes the right one does get away.
He shivered then. It was colder up there than he’d expected.
‘Can you watch Ruby for a minute?’ he asked Laura. ‘I’ve left my jacket in the car.’
‘Yeah, no problem.’
He left the two of them, Ruby holding Ian out through the railings to give him a better look, and wove down the spiral steps towards the car park. As he passed through, he spotted a familiar face – the man who walked his dog on the beach was giving a talk to some visitors. Small world , he thought and noted that the guy had picked up a bit of a tan since he’d last seen him. Nick went to the car, shrugged on his jacket and wandered back into the lighthouse, only to find that all hell had broken loose.
Laura and Ruby were down in the lobby, the latter crying her eyes out.
‘What’s happened?’ he asked, rushing forward to hold her by the shoulders.
‘She’s okay,’ Laura reassured him, stroking Ruby’s hair.
‘It’s Ian!’ Ruby sobbed. ‘He fell down.’
‘Ah, no. Where is he now?’
Please don’t be in the sea , he thought.
‘Thankfully not,’ Laura said. ‘A woman picked him up. She nearly slipped off the cliff edge ,’ she said under her breath, to avoid upsetting Ruby further. ‘I was just going to find her and see if she’s okay, and get Ian back. I think they took her to the staff area.’
‘Right. It’s okay, I’ll go and find her.’ He kissed Ruby on the top of the head. ‘Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ll go and fetch him for you.’
He scanned the lobby for a staff-only sign and headed for it, Ruby hiccupping and sniffing behind him as he went. He tentatively popped his head round the door into a separate short corridor, not wanting to just barge his way in.
‘Hello?’ he called.
A man came out of a side room. He was tall with salt-and-pepper hair and wore a badge on his fleece gilet that read ‘Cliff’. Nick bit his lip, trying not to smile at it.
‘What can I do for you?’ he asked congenially.
‘Um, I’m looking for my daughter’s toy lobster? I hear he went on a bit of an adventure.’
‘Ah, yes. He certainly did. So did his rescuer – would have toppled off the cliff if I hadn’t grabbed her quick enough.’
‘I’m so sorry. Is she here? I’d like to say thanks, if I can?’
‘Hold on – I’ll just go and see.’
He walked into the side room and returned thirty seconds later with Ian, handing him over with a regretful smile. ‘She says it’s no bother, no need to say thanks. Still calming down ,’ he whispered, nodding towards the closed door. ‘She’s just glad your little girl’s got her friend back.’
‘Right. Well, we’re very grateful. Hope she’s okay. And thanks again.’ He waved the lobster and headed back to the lobby, wondering why drama seemed to follow him everywhere he went lately. After some cuddles and the promise of an ice cream, Ruby had settled down too, and they’d enjoyed the rest of the day without further incident.
The noise in the Community Kitchen had turned up a notch as it continued to fill with people, and he was just about to raise his voice to ask Laura how the story of Ian the Lobster’s skydive had gone down with Callie when he felt a rough tug on his shoulder.
He turned to see Callie herself, her face pale and her eyes wild.
‘Nick. I can’t find Ruby. Anywhere.’
All thoughts of lighthouses and lobsters disappeared as he pushed his way through into the main dining hall.
‘You check outside again,’ he yelled at Callie over his shoulder as he dove into the crowd. Laura had rushed off to check the other side rooms, shouting Ruby’s name. It was drowned out by the ‘One, two, three…’ of a local band that had ex-Kitchen attendees in its line-up, and Nick could barely hear himself think as they began a loud rendition of ‘I’ll Be There for You’ by The Rembrandts.
‘Ruby!’ he called, pushing through to the entrance hall, checking the store cupboard that branched off it and even behind the heavily stacked coat pegs. Nothing. Where could she be? The seeds of panic started to take root in his belly. Ruby barely went anywhere without an adult’s hand to hold, and now she was somewhere within this mass of people, or worse, somewhere outside. Callie was screaming her name out in the street, so he plunged back into the dining room.
He grabbed his phone from his pocket and tried to call Travis, just in case she was with him, but there was no answer.
He looked down at the floor and, ludicrously, up to the ceiling. He scoured beyond shoulders and elbows and tops of heads. He searched down by waists, knees, feet. Eventually, he emerged behind the food service counter, where he threw open cupboard doors, even the warming oven, just in case. Nothing.
He pushed through the doors to the back rooms, where there was nobody around, and checked the bathrooms, which were unoccupied. Then he went into the main kitchen, which was also empty, barring the aftermath of food preparation. Cake crumbs littered the surfaces, and he absurdly thought that Edie wouldn’t have tolerated this kind of mess. Running his hands through his hair, he tried desperately to think of what he could do next. And then he saw a wrapper on the floor – a paper wrapper from a choc ice, an old-fashioned brand that was familiar to him, even from his own childhood. He remembered being given them as a treat out of the cavernous walk-in freezer. And he remembered Edie giving them to Ruby too.
His heart in his mouth, he raced from the kitchen into the hall, where the door to the freezer room was closed tightly.
‘Ruby,’ he bellowed, hammering on the door. ‘Are you in there?’
‘Daddy!’ came a voice faintly from inside. ‘I can’t get out.’
He yanked at the handle, which he thought he’d fixed up a treat last time, but it was stuck rigidly and wouldn’t move.
‘Ruby darlin’, can you give the handle a turn for me? Have a try.’
There was a faint wobble as she tried from the other side.
‘I can’t, Daddy. It’s stuck.’
‘Okay, don’t worry. Daddy’s going to get you out.’
He raced to the store cupboard down the corridor, throwing his phone onto the shelf as he rummaged around, and grabbed a screwdriver from the toolkit. In a growing panic, with shaking hands, he worried away at the handle, slipping every now and then, murmuring reassurances to Ruby inside. The damn thing was rattling; there must have been something loose inside the workings.
When it finally popped open, the cold air rushed out as fast as the adrenaline coursing through him. He hurried inside, still holding the screwdriver, and wrapped his arms around Ruby, who was freezing cold, clutching Ian, and had a mouth covered in chocolate. On the floor were several empty choc-ice wrappers.
‘I wanted one of Nanna Edie’s treats. To remember her by,’ she said, blinking up at him with eyes that were both innocent and guilty, depending on the context.
‘You dafty,’ he said, rubbing the top of her head. ‘You gave me and Mammy a bit of a scare. Come on – let’s get you out of here and warmed up.’
He stood up and took her hand, ready to head out to the warmth and chaos of the main hall, where he could return Ruby to her worried mother’s arms. But just as they turned to walk out the door, the strains of ‘Lean on Me’ coming from the dining room were sharply extinguished by the thud of the freezer door being pushed closed, followed by the metallic clank of the interior handle falling off onto the floor.