Chapter Twelve #3
‘Of course! What lady could refuse a chance to shop? I can also show you to the bookstores and lending libraries and advise where you can find anything else you might need for Thornthwaite. Though I know Rafe told Hart you were observing strict economies while he works on building back up the estate’s income. ’
A knock sounded at the door and the butler bowed himself in. ‘Excuse me for interrupting, Your Grace. Nurse says you wished to be called when the Young Master woke from his nap.’
A smile lit Claire’s face. ‘I did.’ Turning to Juliana, she said, ‘Would you like to meet one of the lights of my life?’
‘Very much!’
‘Do you like children?’ she asked as they left the tea things and she led Juliana up the stairs towards the nursery.
‘I’ve not been much acquainted with them. I don’t much like my sister’s,’ she added with a grimace. ‘They always seem to be either quarreling or whining.’
‘All children quarrel or whine at times, but it sounds as if they are not well managed.’
‘My sister gives them whatever they ask for. And scolds their Nanny if the older ones tell her she tried to discipline them.’
Claire shook her head. ‘She may not keep that Nanny much longer, then.’
‘I am very much looking forward to having Rafe’s child—our child. In fact, I’d like to ask a few questions, if I may.’
‘Of course, ask me anything. I don’t claim to be an expert, but I have been a mother for some time—I have an older son, Alexander, who is four years old now and completely charming.’
Juliana smiled at the mother’s obvious bias. ‘I’m sure he is.’
‘We often have my sister’s daughter, Arabella, staying with us as well. She’s almost of an age with Alex. My sister finds motherhood…fatiguing, and being recently married, wants time alone with her new husband.’
Juliana detected a slightly disapproving note. ‘How…disappointing for Arabella.’
‘We try to shower her with enough affection to make up for it. But Bella is a tough little thing. She’ll survive having a distant mother. I did.’
Feeling a stab of empathy for the little girl, Juliana was surprised into volunteering, ‘Or a disapproving one, as I did. I may know little about being a mother, but I vow that my children will know only cherishing.’
Claire squeezed her hand. ‘Then you know what, in my opinion, that is the most important thing about being a mother.’
Reaching the nursery, Claire sent the nursery maid off to have tea, telling her they’d tend the child. Picking her son out of his cradle, she hugged him close before turning to Juliana.
‘May I introduce you to our young viscount, Lord Edmenton,’ she said, displaying the baby proudly. ‘We named him Arthur Charles after Hart’s father, but we call him Charlie. It may not be correct, but I can’t bring myself to call a three-month-old infant “Edmenton.”’
After kissing his head, she cuddled him close again, her joy in him apparent. Juliana felt a surprisingly fierce pang of longing. How she yearned to have a child of Rafe’s to cherish!
‘Would you like to hold him?’
‘May I?’
‘Of course. He’s quite sturdy, he won’t break.’
As his mother handed him over, Juliana gazed down at that perfect little round face, the child’s dark eyes gazing up at her inquiringly. ‘What a handsome little lordling you are,’ she breathed. ‘No wonder your Mama dotes on you.’
‘We’re in private now. What did you wish to ask me?’
Her need for answers prevailing over her discomfort in broaching so intimate a matter, Juliana said, ‘As I mentioned, I’m not…
close to my mother. My maid, Baxter, is the nearest thing I have to a female friend and confidante, but she’s never had any children.
I grew up in the country, so I understand what is necessary to conceive child, but…
how does one know when that has happened? ’
Claire gave her an inquiring look. ‘Do you think you might be with child?’
‘I might be. I haven’t had my courses in over two months.’
‘If they normally come regularly, that’s a good sign. How are you feeling?’
‘My appetite is good, but… I have lost my breakfast every morning for the last week or so. Which might be the result of riding in the coach, as I’ve seldom traveled such long distances.’
‘Perhaps, though stomach distress is often an early sign. Has there been anything else?’
‘Just recently my breasts seem…swollen and tender.’
‘Another good sign. There’s no way to be certain until you feel the child move within you, which doesn’t happen until one has been enceinte for five months or so. But it sounds as if you might be.’
Juliana had to damp down an emotion so strong, she was almost in tears. Hardly daring to hope it might be true, she couldn’t trust herself to speak.
‘Would you be happy if it were true?’
‘Ecstatic!’ she burst out. ‘Rafe and I are so…comfortable together. A child would be the final thing to make our relationship complete.’
Claire gave her an assessing look, making Juliana uncomfortably aware that she’d left out any mention of ‘love’ in describing their union. But refraining from commenting about that, the Duchess said instead, ‘Does Rafe know?’
‘Oh, no! I’ve no intention of saying anything yet. I might well be mistaken, and I would want to be very sure before I raise his hopes. Now that he holds the title, he is of course very concerned about having an heir. Though I’m certain he would love any child of his.’
‘Then I hope your suspicions may be correct.’
‘Is there…anything I should be doing? Or not doing?’ She laughed. ‘Which I suppose is a foolish question to ask one intrepid enough to accompany the army on campaign while enceinte.’
‘Actually, I spent most of my pregnancy comfortably tucked away at a house in Lisbon. There’s no need to wrap yourself up in cotton wool.
It’s fortunate the current fashion for high-waisted frocks will allow you to purchase new gowns that are loose in the bodice.
If you truly are with child, you may find yourself becoming more fatigued than usual the first few months.
You should rest if you are and eat sensibly. ’
‘Can one ride? I expect you did.’
‘Indeed. If you enjoy riding, you may. Avoid galloping, though it’s unlikely you could harm the child unless you took a particularly bad tumble.
Continue to do all the things you enjoy.
’ She gave Juliana a naughty glance. ‘There’s no need to discontinue doing the things you enjoy with your husband, either. ’
While she waited for the appearance of the little being on whom she could lavish all her love, it was a relief to know she could distract herself with passion. ‘I’m very relieved to hear that,’ she said, making Claire laugh.
The nursery-maid bustled back in. ‘I can take over now, Your Grace.’
‘I suppose you must,’ Claire said, handing the child back with reluctance. ‘I don’t want to disturb nursery routine too much.’
As they walked out, Claire said, ‘Why don’t you rest before dinner? I’ll have Mrs Reynolds ready a bedchamber for you. On another visit, I shall take you to the schoolroom to meet Alex and Arabella. They are walking in the Park now with their Nurse.’
‘I should love to meet them.’ And absorb as many insights about motherhood as she could gather, hoarding them up against the day when she might be able to use them with her own child.
‘Do you know which entertainments you are going to attend?’ Claire asked as they walked back towards the bedchambers.
‘I’ve no idea.’
‘Of course not; you’ve hardly unpacked yet. I’ll speak with Hart before dinner and see if he knows when Rafe intends to make his entrance into the Lords. And check our own invitations, to be sure we attend the same events.’
‘It would be a great comfort to attend those you will be present at.’ Juliana shuddered. ‘So I do not have to face the dragons of Society on my own.’
‘You must remember you are the wife of an earl now; a countess is given much more leeway in her conduct than some lowly unmarried miss. Nor will Society wish to offend a Duchess by slighting her friend.’ Claire made a face.
‘As I can’t escape the title, I might as well make use of it. You should, too.’
‘It would certainly be a change not to have to worry about offending or embarrassing anyone,’ she said ruefully. ‘Fortunately, Mother is not in town this Season. No matter what I did, she would find something to criticize. I’m relieved I won’t have to deal with that.’
‘If she is not supportive, ignore her. You’re a countess now. You no longer need her approval.’
Juliana sighed. ‘That’s what Rafe advises. But it’s still hard not to cringe when I see her coming, always ready with unfavourable comments about my conduct and appearance.’
‘After our visit to my modiste, your appearance will be perfection. And a countess may conduct herself as she chooses.’
‘Following animals in the park, sketchbook in hand? Studying fossils at the British Museum?’ Juliana asked wryly.
‘Don’t worry! I will refrain from both—or at least, be careful not to be observed.
At entertainments, I should be relieved to be able to follow in your train and let you do the speaking. ’
‘You may do so if you wish. But I hope you will soon feel confident enough to mingle on your own. In the meantime, if you just smile, nod, dance with your husband and his friends, you’ll be fine.’
‘I hope so.’ As the Duchess led her to a chamber to rest, for the first time, Juliana felt less anxious about her upcoming time in Society.
With her new friend to guide her, maybe she would weather London without committing any faux pas that could threaten the closeness with Rafe she’d developed at Thornthwaite—the closeness she would do all in her power to preserve.