14. Gigi
CHAPTER 14
Gigi
WINTER brEAK
“Why are A and B kicking so much?” Luke asks, his ear placed directly on top of my belly and his palms on my waist. I run my fingers through his freshly trimmed, dirty-blond waves.
“They’re kicking so much because they miss you.” I hesitate for a moment. I hate being this girl. The clingy one. The desperate one. “I miss you.”
Luke looks up at me, dark circles decorating the skin beneath his honey eyes, and breathes heavily. “Gigi.” My name comes out as a disappointed warning. “We’ve talked about this.”
“There are more important things than money,” I argue. Like spending time with your pregnant wife, for example.
The accounting student, of course, looks at me like I’ve grown another head. “I don’t want to be the kind of parent who can’t afford to offer my kids anything, Gi.” Although his jaw clenches, his gaze is still soft, focused on me.
“And I don’t want to have the kind of relationship that my parents had,” I confess. It’s more a desperate plea than a confession, really. Being pregnant really makes you think about your childhood. You don’t want your children to be as fucked up as you are, so you start digging into your past, trying to find out where your mom and dad went wrong. Everyone does this. If they didn’t, I’m going to have bleak career prospects after I graduate.
“You won’t. It’s just for now, Gi. Until I graduate.” Luke kisses my belly before sitting upright on the sofa.
I hate it when he’s being logical. I hate that I made him like this. He’s working two jobs because I forgot to put a fucking reminder on my phone. Besides, it’s not his fault that Zoey is leaving and I’m going to stop going to class after winter break is over. I hate that, too, that I won’t have my best friend here and classes to distract me.
Congratulations, Gigi. You’ve made a wonderful mess of everything. At the worst possible time. And now Luke has to clean up the mess.
I summon the courage to ask him the question that has been on my mind ever since he told me he got a job at The Wilted Flower. “Do you sometimes wish that this wasn’t your life?”
Luke’s back goes ramrod straight. Gone is the gentleness on his face. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Don’t get me wrong, I love A and B, but he’s paying for my sins, and lately, I wonder whether he would’ve married me if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. Whether we would’ve lasted this long had I come back from New York without his twins. “You’re working a lot. You have a literal teenage wife. You’re expecting two kids. You’re cramming more credits this semester than normal people usually take. I know this isn’t the college experience you envisioned for yourself, that’s all.”
“Are you regretting this, Gi?” He narrows his eyes. “Because it’s a little too late for that.”
“I’m not.” I already feel my tears. Damn you, hormones and mood swings. “I just feel guilty, that’s all. Like I robbed you from a life that you were so excited about.”
Luke slides down on the couch, wedging himself between the back cushion and me. He’s staring straight in the direction of Kai’s TV that’s mounted on the wall when he speaks again. “Plans change, Gi. I’m happy.”
“You’re also tired.”
“I’m tired, but happy.” He places another kiss on my elbow before standing up. “We’re going to be late. Let’s get going.”
Zoey’s face is red, and the tears already removed half of her makeup. My hair is a tangled mess that’s sticking to my cheeks. Even Luke looks like he’d rather she stay here.
“Promise me you’ll send me updates?” she asks me.
I offer her my nod. “Promise me you’ll send me pictures?”
“I will. Are you sure you don’t want to come to Philly for winter break? Your dad did offer to buy you a plane ticket to New York. It’s not that far.”
I shake my head, a sad smile forming on my face. I wish I could, but I’m so pregnant right now the thought of sitting on an airplane seat seems suffocating. Besides, it feels wrong to be going on a holiday when I know Luke is going to be spending his time off working at the bar and fixing the house he’s desperately trying to sell when he’s not on shift. We’re married. We should be there for each other.
“When are you leaving for London again, Zo?” Luke enters the conversation.
“January 4th.”
“Did you say goodbye to Kai?” he asks.
“I did,” Zoey answers. “That one is still mad at me. You both take good care of him for me, okay?”
“Always, babe,” I assure her. “My third child.”
A snort comes from Luke. “A, B, and C.”
More hugging and more crying take place before Zoey finally stands in line for check-in. “Go, you two. I’ll be fine. Parking is going to cost so much if you wait until I’m done.”
I’m about to argue that there are more important things other than money, but Luke nods his head and gives Zoey one last hug. “Take care, Zoey. Merry Christmas.”
“Don’t make any more babies while I’m gone.” I shake my head, grinning. This bitch .
“Don’t bring back STDs from London,” I tease as I give her one last embrace. “Heard super gonorrhea is on the rise.”
Walking back to the airport parking garage, Luke and I pass by check-in counters for international flights. I let my eyes linger at the signs that read Seoul, and then Dubai, and then again when it shows the word Rome. I stop in my tracks and blatantly stare when I see Athens. I’ve always wanted to go to Greece. Mamma Mia did a number on my teenage self.
“One day I’m going to take you on a honeymoon.” Luke’s voice breaks me out of my daze. “I want to take you to Europe someday, Gi.” He sounds so sincere, causing my heart to thunder inside of me and my chest to warm.
“I’d love nothing more,” I answer, squeezing his bicep before leaning on it.
“I’m going to replace your ring with a nicer one, too,” he says as he snakes his arm around my shoulders.
One day…but right now, I’d settle for spending more time with you, Luke.