28. Gigi
CHAPTER 28
Gigi
The dull sound of the breast pumps fills the room, overpowering whatever Luke is saying. I think he’s apologizing. He’s been doing that for the past three days I’ve been at the hospital. When he’s not upstairs with Ethan and Gwen, he’s down here with me in my room, sitting on the chair by the bed. Most of the time he has his laptop with him, but his eyes are always on me.
“Did you hear anything I said?” Luke asks. His tone is clipped. Frustrated.
I turn my head and glance at him. Sure enough, with his laptop on his lap and eyes on me. Always on me .
“No,” I admit. “Sorry.”
Luke’s jaw tightens. “I have to leave later. Spring break is next month and it’s an all-hands-on-deck situation with the admin stuff.”
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
The last drop is sucked out and I switch the machine off. I sigh, looking at the white-yellow liquid. The nurses say I should feel lucky for producing so much milk two days after giving birth. They told me that sometimes it takes a while for the milk to come in, but last night, my breasts became engorged and I started producing then. A lot. Ethan and Gwen still need to drink through a feeding tube, so everything I make goes inside a bottle. I don’t feel lucky; I feel like a dairy farm.
“I’ll try to get someone else to cover my shift tonight at The Wilted Flower.”
“You don’t have to.”
His eyebrows scrunch together. “Are you still mad at me, Gi?”
“No. It’s fine.”
Luke doesn’t seem convinced, but it really is. I don’t care. Sure, I was upset the night of the birth, but I’m over it now. Luke went out with a new group of friends. Luke missed the birth of Ethan and Gwen. Luke is sorry. He doesn’t need to repeat everything for three days straight. And what he definitely doesn’t need to do is hover over me every minute he’s in this room.
I grab my phone and scroll through the messages I haven’t replied to. With Ethan and Gwen in the NICU, I only have the energy to focus on them. Kai visited us yesterday and Mom brought Becca the day after I gave birth, but my interaction with the outside world has mostly only been with Mom and Luke who come here whenever they can.
Zoey
Girl, you must be so busy. Luke just sent us pictures of your babiesssss. FaceTime me as soon as you have time. I want to meet the dumplings. Kisses from Auntie Zozo.
Dad
Call me when you get the chance, okay, honey? I already spoke to Lucas and your mother. I can’t wait to meet my grandkids. Such a shame you gave birth after my flight left for New York. I would’ve stayed.
Zach
Giving you some space. Call me when you’re ready to talk about Andrew? Congrats again, Gigi.
Kai
An Ergobaby carrier thingy just came in the mail.
Lexa (Work)
Your hottie of a baby daddy just told us why you didn’t show up to work. Congrats! Check your email. We all chipped in to get you a gift card :)
Vince
Congrats. Tell Luke to call me back.
Mom
I’m coming later after work. I got you nursing pads. Luke said your milk finally came in. Woohoo!
I put my phone on the mattress, screen facing down. Sighing, I close my eyes as my fingers reach for the bridge of my nose. Does nobody understand? My children are preemies. They came out way too early. I don’t have fucking time to FaceTime Zoey, mend Vince and Luke’s relationship, or ask Zach why he tormented my ex-boyfriend until he killed himself.
“Gi, what’s wrong?” I open my eyes to see Luke frowning, eyes on me. Always on me .
How long has he been standing next to the bed?
“Nothing,” I grit out in a barely there whisper. “I just need people to leave me alone.”
Before I can protest, he grabs my phone and scrolls up and down. “They’re just happy for you, Gi.” Luke puts it back next to me and holds my hand in his, caressing the skin with his thumb. “Are you sure you’re okay? You seem?—”
“What?” I snap. “I seem what, Luke?”
He studies me with his honey eyes like I’m a math problem he can’t solve. Thankfully, Luke has the wisdom to not finish his sentence, choosing to kiss my forehead instead. “Nothing. I know you’re stressed. I’m here, okay? We’re a team.”
I want to scoff at what he’s saying, but I keep my mouth shut. It’s not worth it and I’m too exhausted for a fight. So instead, I say what I’ve been dying to say ever since I left the NICU a few hours ago, “I want to go back upstairs to Ethan and Gwen.”