Chapter 19 #2
“I don’t need to be the biggest in the game anymore,” I continued. “I want to build something steady. I started my own label, and I want to mentor artists in Detroit. I have brand deals that will bring in more income so I don’t have to disappear for months.”
“You’d be great on that stage though,” she said quietly.
“I know.”
There was a silence that stretched between us, but it wasn’t for long. I reached into my jacket pocket. “This ain’t nothing flashy,” I said. “So don’t expect all that.”
Her eyebrows pulled together immediately. “What are you doin—”
“What?” I asked casually.
I pulled my hand from my pocket slowly and opened a small velour box.
The ring caught the light before she even processed what she looked at.
A large, brilliant-cut diamond sat in a thin band that curved dramatically around it.
There wasn’t anything subtle or quiet about it.
It was bright enough to reflect the kitchen light into her eyes.
Her mouth fell open. “Zay—”
“I’m not perfect.” I cut her off, my voice steady but deep.
“I don’t always get it right. I’ve hurt you.
I’ve been immature. I’ve reacted when I should’ve responded.
” Her eyes began to water. “But I love you,” I said clearly.
She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling.
“I love you,” I repeated. “And I’m going to keep trying to get this right.
I’m not gonna run from it anymore.” My voice cracked slightly.
“I want you,” I said. “I choose you every time. It’s always been you. ”
Tears slipped down her face. She remained seated on the stool as I stood and got down on one knee in front of her.
“Marry me, Princess Love Melendez,” I whispered.
She nodded before the words even came out of her mouth. “Yes.”
When I slid the ring onto her finger, she stared at it as if she couldn’t believe it. Then she broke. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she let them flow freely.
“Why would you do this to me?” She laughed through her tears and slapped my chest playfully. “You know I’m emotional.”
“I know,” I said. I stood up and slowly pulled her into my arms.
She wrapped hers around my neck and held on tight. I felt her shoulders shake against me, and for the first time in a long time, I let myself feel everything without trying to guard it. “I love you,” she whispered into my shirt.
“I know,” I said softly. “I love you too.”
She pulled back just enough to look at me again. “You sure about this? About us?”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything.”
She pressed her forehead against mine and laughed again, still in disbelief. “This ring is stupid big, talkin’ ’bout it’s not flashy, and don’t expect too much.”
“You deserve stupid big,” I replied.
“Zay,” she said softly.
“Yeah?”
“I need to tell you something too.” I watched as her expression shifted from joy to uncertainty. Confusion spread over my face as I waited patiently for her to begin. “Uh . . . I’m pregnant.”
The words didn’t register in my head at first, but when they landed, my body felt heavy. It felt as if something had just smacked me without warning.
She let out a nervous laugh through tears. “How does this even happen after almost seventeen years?” she whispered. “I gotta start all over.”
I remained silent. I saw flashes of a hospital room, tiny hands, sleepless nights, and the fear of messing something up. I saw the version of myself at sixteen, standing in a kitchen, trying not to cry because crying got you hit. I saw my stepfather’s face. I felt his anger and his absence.
Then I saw Yana. The way her curls shaped her face. I heard her laugh.
In that moment, I realized something. I had never regretted her, not even once. Being her father changed something inside of me in ways that I never imagined could’ve.
“You okay?” Princess asked carefully, cutting through my thoughts. “You look like you went somewhere.”
“I just . . . don’t know what to say,” I admitted.
“I should’ve told you sooner, I just. . .” She swallowed. “After everything with the test and all the stress, I didn’t want to pile on.”
“Hey,” I said and pulled her closer. “Don’t do that.”
Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. “I’m thirty-five,” she said through a shaky voice. “My body not gon’ bounce back the same. Yana’s about to graduate. I was just getting used to the idea of living all alone. I don’t even know if I’m excited or terrified,” she admitted.
I let out a deep breath. “You see it as starting over,” I said gently. “I see it as just beginning.”
Her eyes searched mine as if she were digging for doubt behind them. “You’re not scared?” she asked.
“I am,” I answered honestly. “I’m scared of fucking up.
I’m scared of not knowing everything. I’m scared of doing something wrong.
” She looked down. I put my hand under her chin and lifted her eyes to mine.
“But I’m not scared of doing this with you,” I continued.
“I’m not scared of loving you through all of it.
I’m not scared of building this family with you. ”
Her breathing shifted.
“I used to be scared of becoming him,” I said quietly. “But not anymore. I’m nothing like him.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks again. “I thought you’d be stressed,” she whispered. “Or quiet, disappear into your head and the studio again.”
I shook my head. “I’m staying right here through it all. I’m staying through the appointments and the mood swings. The scary nights . . . I get to be in the hospital room this time.”
Her shoulders began to shake again, but this time, it was from a giggle.
“I’m not going nowhere.” I smiled. “Not when it’s hard. Not when it’s quiet. Not when it’s messy.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you gotta be strong all the time,” she said softly.
“I don’t,” I replied. “Not with you. You taught me that I don’t have to be.”
Outside, the world went on and buzzed by without a care about our little moment. But inside, everything was still.
The world could go with all its different trends.
The numbers could spike again.
The stage could call my name again.
But none of it felt bigger than what mattered at that moment. Nothing compared to the love we shared together.
To start over didn’t mean losing ground.
It was to choose it.
It had always been to choose it.