Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Rhett
One week. One week without Brynlee feels like twenty-seven years of hell. That night, I drove back to her house to pick up the bear and shirt. Every night, I lie in bed with them, both still smelling like her, as I stare at the picture of us from Halloween.
Calling her does nothing. It rings now, but she doesn’t answer. I’ve listened to her voicemail more times than anything else this past week, and I’m pretty sure it constitutes stalking.
If it rings, it means I’m not blocked, right? It would just go straight to voicemail?
I’ve never been in a situation like this before. Every night, as I try to sleep, I can’t figure out who that person was. The guy I became isn’t me. How did I allow myself to get so crazy that I pushed Brynlee away? Actually away. Running for the hills away.
The fact I did all of that in front of other people, not to mention making her cry, drives me insane.
I can’t sleep because I’m not that guy. That’s not who I am.
I’m the nice guy. I’ve hated it until now, but no one thinks that about me anymore.
Not after I became the guy who used to care about people and how they feel but now upsets them for sport.
I walk into one of the largest stores in the mall about an hour from Copperwood to find Gemma’s Christmas present. Of course I drew her name. With the size of the family, anyone eighteen and older draws names for gifts because we’d all go broke buying for everyone otherwise.
I find a fluffy purple robe made of something softer than I’ve ever felt before, and I see matching slippers. She’s talked about needing a new robe for months now, and I smirk at how girly this all is. Everything she would have rebelled against even ten years ago.
She’s the only girl in her house, and she’s finally embraced her feminine side, no longer hating all things pink or purple.
She’s also the one to introduce me to girl logic, which I still don’t understand other than it’s why her personality shifted.
And why she justifies buying iced coffee every morning before work.
It’s more than I typically spend on presents, but I’m avoiding all family gatherings until Christmas. I can get away with claiming to be on call and out fixing equipment until Christmas. Not after telling them last year I won’t be on call again this year.
I love my family, but the last thing I need right now is their judgment or opinions on what happened. It’s bad enough having to deal with what I have going on inside my own head, and their criticisms would just push me over the edge.
Leaving the store, I pass by a jewelry store, and I’m struck by how empty it is. Normally, this time of year has every one packed with men buying engagement rings or earrings for their women. Merry Christmas, now please pledge your life to me.
I walk inside for some inexplicable reason, and I see a young blonde behind the counter. For a moment, I think it could be Brynlee, but I see her in every thin blonde I see. Everywhere I go, I see her, and she’ll probably be everywhere I go for the rest of my life.
“Hi, there!” the salesgirl calls out cheerfully, and I almost turn around and leave. Almost. “Are you looking for anything special today?”
“No, not really,” I say, and I’m drawn to the various items sparkling in the glass cases.
If Brynlee and I hadn’t broken up, I was going to tell her after Thanksgiving that I loved her. I’d probably be here buying her a Christmas present. Hell, knowing she loved me back would probably have me in here with the other saps buying engagement rings.
“For a girl?”
I glance up to find her smiling knowingly at me, and I just nod. It’s like I’m in a trance of sorts, and her smile widens.
“Tell me about her. What’s she like?”
“She’s beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and she’s warm. Elegant and poised. What’s that popular word the girls are usin’ now? Oh, right, demure. Whatever that means, it’s probably her.”
Giggling, she walks to another case and pulls out a ring. I never said I was looking for a ring. I was thinking maybe a necklace or earrings to have on hand if we should ever bump into each other again. An apology gift.
I open my mouth to tell her I’m not in the market for a ring, but I stop short when I see it. “What’s this?”
“A cushion cut, two-point-five carat diamond on a diamond encrusted gold band. In total, the ring comes to two and a half carats.”
Something about it has me mesmerized. “What kind of band would go with it?”
Why the hell am I asking? I’m not looking to buy a ring.
“You have quite a few options, but from what you’ve described, I think this one,” she says and pulls out a band that looks almost identical to the engagement ring, “would fit her perfectly.”
“How much for both of them?”
Why are you even asking, Rhett? To come back years later to see if it’s still here rather than on Brynlee’s finger?
“Fifteen thousand, six hundred before tax.”
I have no control over myself right now. And just like the spell I must be under, I pull my wallet from my pocket and hand her my credit card. It’s a good chunk of the down payment money I saved up for the Carmichael house. “Here.”
“My name is Beth, by the way. I’ll just need to get some more information from you to put into the system, and then we can get you out of here.”
It doesn’t take as long as I expect to have me rung up, the ring boxed up and in a bag. All said and done, I just dropped seventeen grand for a ring set I don’t know I’ll ever have an opportunity to give Brynlee. But it’s tailormade for her. It looks like something that she’d pick out herself.
“Do you know her size?” Beth asks.
“Her what?”
“Ring size. This is a six.”
Shaking my head, I try to think about her hands. Of course, the only images I muster up have them wrapped around my cock, which I can’t really use as a form of measurement here. “I don’t.”
“Not a problem. If it’s not the right size, we can have it resized, no problem. I bet she’ll love it. Merry Christmas!”
“Thanks,” I say, still stunned and unsure why I’m walking out of this store I’ve never noticed before with a ring I didn’t plan to buy today.
I walk past the food court where I planned to grab something to eat until I dropped a small fortune, deciding to head to my pickup instead.
“Why don’t I feel anxious about this?”
Leaning back in my seat with the engine off, I try to understand how I feel.
Whenever I purchase something over five hundred dollars, I get an anxious, sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Almost like immediate buyer’s remorse, even if it’s something I love or saved for.
Like my pickup. My house. A dog, Bo, I had about ten years ago before he died of cancer.
All of them I loved, but I had that sinking feeling of dread at the commitment of the purchase. So why don’t I feel that now?
Because Brynlee’s the one I’m supposed to be with. Before I drove her away in tears, literally.
Grabbing my phone, I call her again, this time deciding to leave a message.
“Brynlee, it’s me. I’m sure you’ve seen all the calls I’ve made, and I feel like a stalker.
But I need to talk to you and hear your voice.
I made the biggest mistake of my life, and it was because of a stupid misunderstandin’.
I was scared bein’ with me was just an experiment for you before I saw that weddin’ countdown, and it’s all because I thought maybe you were never meant to be mine.
I let my jealousy get the better of me, and I can’t even look at myself after the things I said to you…
How I treated you… That’s not me. That’s not who I am, and I can’t handle the last time I saw you bein’ the last time I ever see you. ”
Taking a breath, I close my eyes. This is harder than I thought it would be.
“I’m beggin’ you to come home. I’ll do whatever it takes to show you how sorry I am.
Lookin’ back, I see all the signs I didn’t before.
I need the chance to tell you a few things.
I’d like a chance to show you that the guy who turned into a crazy person was just temporary insanity.
The man who stopped and helped pull your car from the ditch is the guy I am.
There’s somethin’ I really need to tell you, but I don’t want to say it on your voicemail.
I need you to come home. Please, baby, come home.
Or call me back. At the very least… I need to know you’re safe. ”
I hang up and fight back the tears. There are very few times in my life that I’ve cried. Bo’s death. Grandparents dying. Mom’s breast cancer scare.
“Hey!”
A fist hits the driver’s side window, and I jump, ready to fight. “Uncle Barry?”
“I thought that was you. Did I scare you?” he asks and laughs as I open the door and step out to hug him.
“Yeah, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doin’ here?”
“Same as you, I’d assume. Comin’ or goin’?”
“I was about to leave, but I couldn’t decide if I was hungry or not.”
Moving his hand in a come-on motion, he moves towards the back of the pickup. “I’m buyin’.”
I reach in and grab the ring box, shoving it into my jacket without him seeing. The last thing I need is someone breaking in and stealing it. Besides, if I have it close, it almost feels like I’ll have the opportunity to give it to Brynlee.
We walk into the food court, and I let him decide where to eat. I have no strong preference any which way, and I don’t mind when he picks tacos.
“How you been, boy?”
What a loaded question. “I’ve been better.”
“Broke up with a girl, right? Heard about that. Don’t know much about her, but I hear she’s pretty.”
Pretty? Try flawless. “Brynlee Carmichael.”
“I went to school with a Carmichael. Yeah, Joe Carmichael. He was Jensen and Kathleen’s boy.”
“You knew her dad?” I ask, suddenly very thankful he nearly broke my window.
“She’s Joe’s daughter? Does that mean her mother’s Katherine Lee?”
Shrugging, I shake my head. “I don’t know much about her parents, really. I do know her Mom was from Fox Trot Valley, and they left after graduation.”
“That’d be her. She was always too pretty for her own good.
Knew it, too. Never liked the small-town life, and when Joe fell for her, he changed for her.
Growin’ up, we always talked about farmin’ and havin’ lives like our dads did.
Then he went and fell for Kathy, and everythin’ changed. He died a few years ago, I think.”
“Five,” I say. “Do you know much about him?”
He shakes his head and shoves the rest of the taco into his mouth. “Didn’t talk to him much after he started goin’ with Kathy. He changed and wasn’t around much. He stayed friends with Mackle, though. They were both gonna get out, but Mackle came back to start his practice in Copperwood.”
This gives me an idea. Again, one that may be as fruitless as spending almost twenty grand on a ring, but I have to try. Just in case.