36. Astraea
36
A straea
I shivered waiting upon the rooftop of the establishment, flexing my gloved fingers to work up my courage before Drystan arrived at midnight. I had one task to do before then.
Nyte had shown me how to do it before, and sorrow weighed on me to be here again when it felt too soon for another goodbye to someone who’d had far fewer years than they were owed.
I steadied my breaths and remembered what it had felt like to pull Cassia’s soul from its safekeeping inside me. It was like drawing a final warm breath that wasn’t mine. This particular ability was an honor and as I dragged forth the sphere of light from my chest I marveled at it.
“Hi, Calix,” I whispered to it. “You might have been a stubborn, prickly bastard at times… but thank you for loving her. You didn’t deserve to die the way you did but I hope you find your solace in the stars now.”
It didn’t emit any emotion or reaction back, but I felt the familiarity in it. Whatever souls were made of, I believed Cassia’s and Calix’s belonged to each other. My cupped palms raised, letting the glowing light fly, and I cherished this moment, watching them reunite in the sky.
When he reached far beyond where I could touch them again, his soul flared where it belonged. It was like they joined to make one constellation.
“Of course,” I whispered to myself. “Cassiopeia.”
The name of their constellation.
“Your magick seems to be coming back strong,” Auster said, jolting me from my silent moment with my lost friends.
My sight fell back down to find him. “Where did you go? After the Keep?”
“I figured you didn’t want Nyte knowing I was there.”
I pursed my lips. Actually, I thought it might have made things easier for Nyte to have seen him there—to know Auster had come in aid of me—and then I could have begun to explain how I’d been going to Althenia.
“What happened to the king?”
“He is a king no longer.”
“I don’t actually know his name.”
“No one does. They say Nyte’s mother erased it in their realm, which carried into this one. He doesn’t even remember it himself.”
I was stunned by that revelation. Then I thought back to how Nyte had erased Goldfell’s name. I could hardly remember what he looked like anymore either.
“Honestly I don’t know where he went. After your attack, he disappeared.”
I would be foolish to think I’d harmed him enough in my rage.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked with a wince.
Auster chuckled softly, coming closer. “No. I’m used to your magick enough to know how to defend myself. I was glad to see it.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t come back to Althenia. I have some things I need to do here first.”
“I understand. I’ll always be waiting.”
I appreciated his patience.
“But Astraea, I can’t wait forever.”
My stomach tightened with the alternate meaning now. The bond between us. I couldn’t have them both and I’d selfishly hoped I wouldn’t have to choose so soon. I knew with certainty how I felt for Nyte, but I hadn’t enough time to know what I could have had with Auster and whether I was throwing away something that would be better for me. Even for Nyte. As painful as it would be to admit.
“I know,” I whispered.
My body tensed as Auster closed the distance but I didn’t let it show. He was trying; I owed him that back at least. His fingers brushed my skin and my lips parted at the feel of it. I couldn’t place it, but my pulse sped and my mind throbbed faintly as though it was trying to push through a memory and maybe it was me who didn’t want to see it. Whatever flash of the past could unveil.
“So this is what you get up to when my brother is occupied or incapacitated.”
I drew away from Auster like we’d been caught naked together. To Drystan, it might have looked like we were tempted.
“It’s not what it looks like,” I said, turning to find Drystan leaning against the chimney of the roof.
“What does it look like?” he taunted.
“I was just seeing she was safe,” Auster interjected.
From his stiff tone, I could tell he wasn’t remotely fond of Drystan and from the prince’s darkening gaze, it was more than mutual.
“You wouldn’t know how to keep a thing safe if it wasn’t for your precious veil.”
“You’ve let them call you prince all this time but you’re nothing more than a powerless, blood-sucking bastard child.”
Drystan didn’t react, but I did. My head whipped around at the hateful comment.
“I think you should leave,” I said.
Auster’s eyes flexed around the edges with that. I knew what he must have been thinking, that I was defending the enemy. But I’d come to realize neither of them were my enemy. I was the only neutral territory, albeit because of my lack of memory, but I wasn’t entirely clueless.
“I’m not leaving you with him,” Auster protested.
Drystan said, bored, “You already have. If I wished to do her harm I would have done so when she was running around like perfect prey in the Libertatem and where were you, Auster?”
The High Celestial’s jaw worked and for a second I thought I caught a spark of light at his fingertips. I hadn’t seen his magick yet…
“Come back to Althenia with me?” Auster asked, soft to me but restrained hinted at ire from our present company.
“I can’t right now. I have to go to the Guardian Temple tomorrow,” I said.
Auster’s brow furrowed. “You shouldn’t.”
My face matched his. “It’s where I fell to. It’s my best place for answers and they raised me.”
“Not very well.”
I was taken aback by his sharp tone but Auster recovered, sighing and wearing me down with concerned eyes.
“There are many who believe it’s because of them you didn’t receive the guidance you needed.”
“They were chosen to guide me. By the gods you worship so dearly.”
“Even gods make mistakes.”
Drystan drawled, “What he means is they let you be your own damn person rather than the poised and pure maiden in white the celestials expected you to be.”
“You know nothing of our customs,” Auster snapped.
“I know they’re archaic with an air of superiority that’s long overdue to be broken.”
“For your kind to savage the land? Shadowless and soulless creatures.”
“Don’t forget the nightcrawlers,” Drystan said. “Don’t forget the ages of control you kept over the realm with thanks to your wicked creatures. ”
I caught intrigue in that last part, wondering what it meant. The celestials used the vampires?
“Ohh, a snack,” Nadia’s voice sang from behind Auster.
Her green eyes peered up as she circled around him, amusement cornering her mouth at Auster’s dark reception.
“Trust me, it wouldn’t be worth the indulgence,” Drystan murmured.
“Because you’d be dead before you even got close,” Auster said.
Nadia boldly reached up to touch his wing, seemingly innocent and curious. Auster shifted to face her, hand not reaching for his sword, just hovering, ready to use whatever power lingered under his skin.
Admittedly, I was hoping she kept provoking him so I could see it for the first time.
Drystan had inched closer with the rising tension too, eyes tracking Auster like he would lunge between them if he tried to attack Nadia.
“I’ll ask you again, Astraea. Please come back with me now,” Auster said, not taking his sights off Nadia who smiled deceivingly sweetly, hands clasped behind her back.
“I will. Soon,” I promised. “I just can’t tonight.”
His disappointment shifted to me for a beat. Then he backed away from the vampire.
Auster didn’t speak, only gave a nod, and I hated that it seemed I was always letting someone down. Torn apart by two sides, and I was losing hope each day that I could ever please them both.
When he left and the last wrap of air from his beating wings breezed around me, I sighed deeply.
“Don’t let him cause you guilt,” Drystan said. “He wants you. He always has. He doesn’t always have your best interests in mind.”
I wanted to trust Drystan, but I didn’t know if he had my best intentions in mind anymore either.
“What did you want to meet me to discuss that I had to keep from everyone?” I asked.
“First it requires the egg.”
I eyed Nadia questioningly and she started to look as wary as I was.
“Why am I here?” she asked.
“You’ll get your purpose, little rogue.”
“You didn’t have to invite me here and make it easy to kill you. Takes the fun out of it.”
It was like Drystan enjoyed her hunger for his life. There was a spark in his eyes that spoke something to her without words.
While they were distracted with each other, I reached into the void for the dragon egg. It would never fail to evoke awe in me and awaken a humming vibration of my magick every time I held it.
“It’s alive,” I said, hushed as though it were a sleeping child in my arms because it felt so precious. “It has to be. I can feel it.”
“We’re going to find out. Tonight,” Drystan said.
“And if it is?”
“You can tell them how you did it and even that I told you, but nothing else. Before we leave you’ll both swear a truth bargain to me.”
“Like hell I’ll bind myself to you another way,” Nadia snarled.
“You’re going to get what you want. But first, you’ll need to yield this dose of trust. A foreign concept to you, I know. Get over it.”
Her lips firmed, arms crossing to match Drystan in an intense stare off.
“What does it require?” she asked.
“You offering me your blood through a cut you make yourself. As much as biting into your pretty neck is highly tempting.”
I shivered at his tone that hinted with seduction toward Nadia. She gave no external reaction to it but that only seemed to entice him more. It made me curious about vampires feeding on each other. Did they find it pleasurable in certain circumstances? Nadia was once human; did that make her blood more desirable than a born vampire’s?
“At least you have the sense to call me pretty,” Nadia said sweetly.
Drystan pinned her with a look and produced a small dagger. She held his stare and unsheathed her own at her thigh.
“This had better be worth it,” she muttered.
“Or what?” he challenged.
“I can get very creative with my murder methods.”
I was still reeling from my uncertainty while I hugged the egg tightly as Nadia cut her wrist. Drystan’s eyes darkened as he stalked to her.
Distracting myself by tracing over the contours of the shell, I skipped over my options before I would offer my blood too. Would Nyte see this as a betrayal? I didn’t know how long or how severe this lie would have to be, but I had to hatch this egg. If there was a chance the dragon was alive within… it could change the tide of the war.
So when Drystan came to me next, I held out my hand, and hoped my trust given now wouldn’t become a regret learned later.