7. Let Go #2
His heart beat faster. His blood fizzed in his veins like champagne the nearer Aquilan came to him.
He found himself leaning towards the Sun King as if he was a magnet and Aquilan were the finest of metals.
The Sun King stopped just a foot from him.
Those sapphire blue eyes studied his face.
He reached out and his hands hovered over Declan’s shoulders as if he feared touching Declan or thought that such a touch would be unwelcome.
It took all of Declan’s self restraint not to lift up into those hands.
Tsk, if he is “yours” you need to show him , the voice teased.
We’re not even supposed to be friendly with him let alone–alone–THAT!
What is “that”? Do you even know? The voice asked.
But, thankfully, he didn’t have to answer as Aquilan was speaking again and when the Sun King spoke, there was simply nothing else that Declan was interested in.
“You’re outside in the Sun,” Aquilan murmured. His blue eyes narrowed a little. “I see you have a hood and sunglasses on, but… do you really think this is wise? We don’t know what caused your collapse yesterday. You should be resting.”
Declan didn’t know what had caused it either. Not exactly. But the Adiva was like a hunk of ice against his chest so he knew he was in no danger.
“You’re not coming to work, are you? Helgrom gave you the day off. Did he not?” Aquilan fussed.
“No, I was…” looking for Rhalyf. But he knew that would not be wise to say. The Aravae lord had risked himself by coming to help Declan. He would not betray him. “... walking around. Restless.”
At that moment, Aquilan’s companion arrived at the Sun King’s side. “Brother, who is this person ?”
Declan’s eyes flickered to the well dressed–or perhaps, he should have said over dressed–elf by Aquilan’s side.
He’d called Aquilan “brother”. So that must mean he was Emissary Vesslan Fairlynn.
Neither Shonda nor Michael had much good to say about him.
While there were certain similarities in looks between the two of them, Vesslan was more hawkish in appearance and distrustful.
“Vesslan, this is Declan Wilde. He’s one of the survivors of the battle here,” Aquilan introduced them. “Declan, this is my elder brother, Vesslan.”
“ Emissary Vesslan,” Vesslan amended.
“Brother!” Aquilan laughed. “You need not be so formal. Declan is my friend.”
A wash of warmth went through Declan. Even the Adiva seemed to warm though the protection it gave did not falter. That warm feeling actually increased when a flicker of alarm went through Vesslan’s face at Aquilan’s description of their relationship.
“I believe you are also my Mender,” Declan said, pleased for once that the clever words did not escape him.
Aquilan laughed, delighted at their private joke. It only made Vesslan’s discomfort grow, which was a bonus, too.
“I am at that!” Aquilan tilted his head to the side as he studied Declan. “And a question as your private Mender, are you certain you are well enough to be out?”
“I am,” Declan answered simply.
“So…” And here an almost impish smile crossed Aquilan’s face, “so you would be up for a palace tour?”
Declan blinked. “I–”
“Brother! The tour is for you ! Not–not a public tour! We are going to be visiting your private quarters and–”
“I told you that Declan is my friend . He’s not the public.” Aquilan’s expression grew sharp for a moment. So he was not unaware of his brother’s snobbery. Nor was he fond of it seemingly.
Vesslan blinked rapidly and opened his mouth to object again, “But it is not completely finished and–”
“All the more reason for Declan to come. He might have some ideas about how we should complete it.” Aquilan’s head swung towards him. “I’m hopeless when it comes to design, Declan. I just know what I like when I see it.”
Declan should have begged off, claiming he had somewhere to go. But he had already said he was just walking around, not true, but there it was. And the truth was…
You wish to go. Why don’t you take what you want? Just this one time… The voice wheedled.
“I do not know if I will have much to offer, but I would gladly go with you if you wish it,” Declan said.
A vein in Vesslan’s right temple started pulsing, but Aquilan was only looking at him. And in Declan’s estimation, it appeared that he had offered the Sun King a special treat. As ridiculous as it might sound that his company was worth any such thing to such an important person.
“I do wish it. Very much. And you and my brother can point out some of the highlights of the city to me as we walk there,” Aquilan practically clapped his hands as he said it. “Brother, we will have to make sure that Erendriel and Silveril are taken to the palace stables.”
“I… yes, of course. I did have a carriage for you just around the corner,” Vesslan began.
“Oh, but I want to walk! I want to see this city that you’ve built for the people, Vesslan. Don’t you want to show it off to me?” Aquilan asked, putting a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder.
Vesslan relaxed and his expression softened. “Yes, yes, of course, I do. I’ve taken quite a bit of care in the city planning, Aquilan. I want you to see–”
“That you’ve taken care of everything. And I am so grateful.” Aquilan squeezed his brother’s shoulder.
Vesslan’s chest puffed up. “I’m glad you recognize my efforts. Not that any thanks are needed.”
But they clearly were . Declan kept that to himself.
“Now, begin the tour!” Aquilan laughed.
The three of them began to stroll down the avenue together.
At first, Declan attempted to keep two steps behind the Aravae, but while Vesslan seemed to like that, Aquilan was having none of it.
When the Sun King noticed it the first time, Aquilan asked if they were walking too fast and did Declan need to rest?
That had Declan walking beside Aquilan, but a few feet away, but Aquilan noticed this as well and he stepped nearer, which meant that Vesslan had to veer over, too.
Declan was glad that his eyes were covered with sunglasses.
He wasn’t sure what they would have revealed about what he felt about the Sun King’s closeness.
He seeks you out as if you are the Moon and he is a moth. A very pretty moth. The prettiest of moths, the voice chuckled.
He’s just being kind and considerate! That’s who he is, Declan argued weakly.
Deny it all you want, but he is drawn to you. What will you do about that?
Declan felt a wave of heat followed by cold go through him. He had no idea what to do about that. He’d never felt this way about anyone. And Aquilan wasn’t just anyone either.
I’m a bartender. He’s the king. Nothing can come of it. And that’s before we add in my “difference”.
Stop throwing up barriers. Live in this moment. And then consider what you would do to keep it. Nothing is impossible if you want it enough. Take it from me, the voice said, sounding nothing at all like his own any longer, if it ever really had.
“... and as you can see, I had the streets engineered so that they followed the natural contours of the earth just here and…” Vesslan droned on.
Declan could see by the Sun King’s mild expression that he was bored to tears with what his elder brother was saying, but was too polite to interrupt.
Aquilan merely nodded and murmured his agreement.
Vesslan was so oblivious to what his younger brother enjoyed that Declan was certain he would drain the city of any vitality for the Sun King. But Declan wanted him to love it here.
So he’ll stay…
“Down there,” Declan suddenly interrupted, the words bursting from his normally steadfastly closed lips, as he pointed down a small, winding street, “is Bookseller’s Row.”
Aquilan’s eyes widened and his lips parted at Declan’s declaration. Vesslan blinked and stared at him as if he’d grown another head.
“Each shop is dedicated to a particular genre. There’s one that has nothing but books about plants in it. Another that specializes in histories, which Finley loves. And a third that’s romance fiction,” he continued as he saw Aquilan’s smile warming with every word.
Aquilan glanced down the winding sunlit lane, and said, “Oh, I must get something for Rhalyf! He loves romances.”
“He does?!” Vesslan sounded strangled. “Perhaps the sex scenes, but–”
“He’s really quite romantic, brother, though he does like a lusty sex scene or two as well,” Aquilan smiled brilliantly. “Let’s go look inside the shops!”
And Aquilan was off with the two of them following in his wake.
As the Sun King poked his head into every shop, oohed and aahed over the offerings that the bewildered and amazed shopkeepers showed him, Vesslan and Declan waited in the lane.
They did not look at one another. To passersby they likely appeared as if they had never met and were only standing somewhat near one another out of coincidence.
“So,” Vesslan said after long silent moments, “how did you and the king meet exactly?”
“I’m a bartender at the Dawn,” Declan answered, not wanting to reveal to this elf anything more than that.
“A bartender ?” Vesslan sounded strangled again. He let out a sigh. “Yes, yes, that explains it. But then again, I suppose, you are a survivor… aren’t you?”
“I am.”
Does he honestly think I’m lying about that? Yes, yes, he does.
“So I suppose Aquilan’s interest in you makes some sense .” Vesslan’s lips writhed back from his teeth.
Some sense?
Declan’s hands curled into fists in his pockets. Though really should he be mad at Vesslan for pointing out what he already knew to be true? Bartender and king were not in the same world.
Bartending is what you DO. Not who you ARE. And I doubt you’ll be doing it for much longer, the voice pointed out. What matters is the greatness within you. Grasp it. Claim it. Become it. Look at this worm of an Aravae and let him see but a glimpse of it.
“You shouldn’t let this connection go to your head,” Vesslan continued as Aquilan talked earnestly with the bookshop owner and poured over various leather bound books, looking for just the perfect one for Rhalyf.
“Now that Aquilan has returned from the war, he will have duties and important people to speak with.”
Declan found himself smiling. “Meaning not me?”
“Exactly.” Vesslan pulled down the sleeves of his robes. “I’m not saying this to be cruel, but just to be clear about this situation.”
Show him who you are inside, the voice urged. Let go. Let go of the fear, of the assumptions, of the limitations. Let go of them all.
When I let go with Strofin and his ilk, it’s easy.
Vesslan is no different. You are above them. Beyond them. Believe this, the voice whispered.
I do this not for myself. But for Aquilan. I will not have him bullied.
“ Aquilan will decide who he speaks to,” Declan said as he turned to fully face the taller Aravae, feeling that familiar power fill him as it did when someone in the bar got rowdy or spoke ill of humans.
Vesslan’s eyes narrowed in surprise and annoyance that he was pushing back. Immediately, he said, “Yes, well–”
Declan ignored him, “ Aquilan will decide who is important to him.”
“You are–”
Once more, Declan spoke over him as if he wasn’t saying anything at all, “And if Aquilan wants me in his life, I will be there. And nothing you say will change that.” He leaned forward and added, “So are we clear ?”
Vesslan took a step back. A stumbling step as if he caught sight of something behind Declan’s black sunglasses that surprised him.
Frightened him, the voice chuckled. He is nothing. An insect.
He is a bully. He is a snob, Declan countered.
Oh, he is worse than that. You’ll see. Just wait, the voice continued to chuckle.
There was a ting of the bell on top of the door to the bookshop as Aquilan emerged. In his arms were no less than five books. His eyes were shining. His cheeks were slightly pink.
“I thought you were getting a gift for Rhalyf,” Vesslan frowned. “Five books? Is he that much of a reader?”
Aquilan flushed, but then proudly explained, “ One of them is for Rhalyf. The others are for me.” His eyes flickered towards Declan. “You see, I’m rather romantic , too.”